Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Snake"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
26 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
This is such an important piece, and so well-written. I commend you on your efforts to combat child abuse. Your poem is a perfect metaphor (the snake). I think this is a very strong entry in this contest. I wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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This is such an important piece, and so well-written. I commend you on your efforts to combat child abuse. Your poem is a perfect metaphor (the snake). I think this is a very strong entry in this contest. I wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from marylou4
Your writing exposes the depravity that is so prevalent in society today. The personification of this hidden predator is a perfect choice. When we bear our hearts, others are often affected in positive ways.
Your poem shines a beam of light and hope on the desperation of an abused child. The pattern of stressed syllables stresses the impact from this pernicious attacker. The vivid imagery of your words paints a realistic portrait of the world we live in. I remember growing-up in a very different atmosphere.
If you want a more formal tone and style, then you should change weren't; replace this contraction with were not.
Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Your writing exposes the depravity that is so prevalent in society today. The personification of this hidden predator is a perfect choice. When we bear our hearts, others are often affected in positive ways.
Your poem shines a beam of light and hope on the desperation of an abused child. The pattern of stressed syllables stresses the impact from this pernicious attacker. The vivid imagery of your words paints a realistic portrait of the world we live in. I remember growing-up in a very different atmosphere.
If you want a more formal tone and style, then you should change weren't; replace this contraction with were not.
Well done.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.
Comment from danpald
The tale is so clear in the fear
All the world does need to beware
For the truth that such abuse is known
The resulting violence is less to be told
I feel like you that this is too much to hold
That a young child be held as a victim still
After years of abuse now free from the wretch
Only to be held as a victim yet
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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The tale is so clear in the fear
All the world does need to beware
For the truth that such abuse is known
The resulting violence is less to be told
I feel like you that this is too much to hold
That a young child be held as a victim still
After years of abuse now free from the wretch
Only to be held as a victim yet
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Nosha17
A lawyer in a proper Federal court, not a kangaroo court would get him off, this kid had no alternative but to shoot him, being abused and almost killed during the abuse. Tragic story, this monster should not have been allowed to perpetrate such abuse for so long. Well written story with powerful message. Good luck in the contest. Faye
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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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A lawyer in a proper Federal court, not a kangaroo court would get him off, this kid had no alternative but to shoot him, being abused and almost killed during the abuse. Tragic story, this monster should not have been allowed to perpetrate such abuse for so long. Well written story with powerful message. Good luck in the contest. Faye
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them very much.
Comment from Connie P
I found your entry to be well written and as disturbing as you intended. I don't think child abuse is tolerated as it once was, but horrible abuse stills goes on, unchecked, behind closed doors across America. I wouldn't blame the boy for killing his abuser, but I'm afraid vigilante justice is against the law anyway ... Now if it was in self defense that's another matter.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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I found your entry to be well written and as disturbing as you intended. I don't think child abuse is tolerated as it once was, but horrible abuse stills goes on, unchecked, behind closed doors across America. I wouldn't blame the boy for killing his abuser, but I'm afraid vigilante justice is against the law anyway ... Now if it was in self defense that's another matter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them.
Comment from grammy3
I have personally lived with The Snake. Your poem hit home with me. I could feel rage in me even though I am not suffering the pain any more. If I had stayed with him, I am certain that our daughter would have gone through the same. Lucky for me, I left him after 3 1/2 years together. This was 30 years ago.
You explained so well what others have felt, and it was written very well. I would like to read some more of your writings.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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I have personally lived with The Snake. Your poem hit home with me. I could feel rage in me even though I am not suffering the pain any more. If I had stayed with him, I am certain that our daughter would have gone through the same. Lucky for me, I left him after 3 1/2 years together. This was 30 years ago.
You explained so well what others have felt, and it was written very well. I would like to read some more of your writings.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2015
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Glad you were able to get out safely and your daughter as well. Part of this poem is autobiographical with my Mother's first husband being The Snake. I did not have to experience this myself as she also escaped his clutches, with a two by four his weapon of choice. She later married a wonderful man afterwards. I do appreciate your comments. I currently have Board Of Education published that is a Best of Fan Story award winner you may be interested in reading.
