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Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Picking Flowers"
These are fictional character sketches.

10 total reviews 
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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Ha ha ha Bill you kept picking flowers...wow do you have a thing for the florist? I'm sure you do...that takes dedication,,,could be dead-i cation
I like the dialect and jelly snot...I picture him as a lime mould jelly monster...
Well penned
God bless

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Jenny, for the nice review. Bill
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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Oh, this is delightful, silly and so much fun.
You've painted a delightful scene in my imagination. Your tight verses give wonderful rhythm and take the reader on tantalising journey through this mis-adventure. The solution to killing off the jelly-monster was ingenious. The loss of Finn did nothing to spoil your spirits. The flowers still got picked. Great humour and originality on show in this one.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Mark, for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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I must admit, I found this more humor than horror. The creature being gelatin and having snot of syrup filling his nose was funny. His end was also funny to me. Blessings, Patricia

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    There's another horror contest, Patricia. I'll try to curb the jello content. Thank you for reviewing Happy day. Bill
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent
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It would seem to me that the writer here has a dream, That he and a friend were in the forest picking flowers. And suddenly came a jelly giant looking for his candy client. There was a fight between the Jelly Giant with him and his friend. The Jelly Giant defeated the two. The cookie man said a magic word upon which the Jelly Giant froze. The Jelly Giant ran to the falls to his death. The writer wrote a funny poem.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Dom, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
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HAHAHAHA!!! This is a horror poem alright - "dragging Finn and picking flowers" is my favorite line of this whole adorable poem, though "crushing slush slap" doing poor Finn in is a close second. HAHAHAHA!!! A jelly giant? In the forest? Uh, mmhmm, of course, I'm sure I've seen those...NOT. HAHAHAHAHA! (Great entry - good luck!)

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Dawn, for a fun review. Bill
reply by Dawn Munro on 09-Apr-2015
    It was very much my pleasure - what a fun tale in your poem! A refreshing approach to horror that works amazingly well, IMO. (And it's a genre I enjoy.)
Comment from Drew Delaney
Good
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Good rhyme. I think working on the rhythm could be achieved with the da dum da dum in pentametre form. When you change the syllable count, it doesn't read so well.

If you are not trying to accomplish this form, then I would write exactly what you are attempting. Nice writing. Just a bit more work would be good. Drew

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Drew, for the kind review. This was a poem for the horror poem contest, but I forgot it could only be a hundred words. I was DQed. Thank you for the critique. Bill
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
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Hi, Bill...

This was a hoot. I love the dialect of the creature looking for the 'Cookie Man.'

...You have some priceless lines--- like these...
-But jelly fingers held me tight
-The mega-gelatin man froze

Great job.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Jax, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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From one retired marine (RM) to another (USMC), congratulations. An excellent piece of poetry. I reckon this would go down really well with 11 to 12 year olds like I used to teach before I retired to from that. It's the lovely use of words that does it the onomatopoeia, the alliteration and for the boys the violence but somehow its the fairy story violence that we all grew up with so it titillates without fear. A great piece of work. Thanks.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you, brother, for an excellent review. I noted your mythology work and will likely fan you.
reply by Pantygynt on 08-Apr-2015
    That would be nice.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Funny. Quick thinking wins again. Poem flowed freely and "baby talk words" contributed nicely to the overall story line of the poem. Stupid jelly giant. Write on.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
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Hi there,

I think that you have misread the prompt. The poem is supposed to be a maximum of 100 words but yours appears to be closer to 190. Sorry,

GMG

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the sad news. How was the poem?