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Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "J Jones"
These are fictional character sketches.

8 total reviews 
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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A straight-forward look at life among the financial wizards of the part of town
beyond the tracks, with a humorous slant that drums right along from start to
finish. Excellent.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 06-Apr-2015
    Thank you, LIJ, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from meggie13
Excellent
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This poem is about mafia and shark loans. Nobody wants to borrow from this people. Not only the they go after the borrower but after the family too. It is well written with some humor and violence.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Meggie, for taking a look at this. Bill
reply by meggie13 on 05-Apr-2015
    You are welcome, Bill. meg
Comment from acerisestory
Excellent
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Your poem made me chuckle, Bill. It's full great violence. Hmmm. I wonder if I should call violence great?

You've used vivid words and imagery in your poem, and I like your clever rhyming, and the final semi-repeating fourth lines. Very nice meter and rhythm.

Very well done! Thank you for sharing. Alana

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Alana, for your kind review. Bill
reply by acerisestory on 04-Apr-2015
    You are welcome, Bill!
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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This is gory but I love it.
I often wonder what happens to the strong arm men who meet stronger armed men like Renaldo Red. TV shows always portray them as thick heads who are pulp for the hero of the piece. But real life doesn't have people like that very often.
Your poem flows really well.
The narrative arc is great from collector right through murder to collector.
Love the sardonic humour you employ to create this piece of entertainment.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Thank you, m, for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is kinda violent, but the rhyming is good. I am not sure what the point is. maybe you could explain a bit. Blessings Patricia

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Sorry, Patricia, I neglected to post a violent content warning. This is a quick poem about a loan shark bill collector, JJ, who was rubbed out by another bad guy named Renaldo, who was subsequently eliminated by JJ's sister, who has taken over his role as collector. Thank you for reviewing it. Bill
Comment from TOMORAL
Excellent
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Wow, do I ever love the picture. The poem is quite humorous and pleasing as well. Perfect flow and rhyme. Thanks for sharing a chuckle this morning. Very well done.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent
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Dear Bill - I'll make sure I don't run into them! Nice flow and rhyme in this story poem. Reads well, well penned.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Maureen, for reviewing this. Bill
Comment from HAPPIOTTER
Excellent
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I absolutely love this poem! Great rhymn! I love your names and wording! Thank you for sharing it with us! Happy Easter!
Happi

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2015

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Happi, for reviewing.