If I Fell
Short Story29 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Most of the time young love is sexual attraction. Not many young people are lucky enough to recognise their soul mate. You can promise the moon but you might not be able to keep that promise. I enjoyed your story Michael. Nancy
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Most of the time young love is sexual attraction. Not many young people are lucky enough to recognise their soul mate. You can promise the moon but you might not be able to keep that promise. I enjoyed your story Michael. Nancy
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from Sasha
I believe you can love more than one person but the first love is always the one that stands out. I like how you wrote this and think it is a great entry for this contest too. I think all of us felt as you did at that age...I wish you all the best in the contest too.
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I believe you can love more than one person but the first love is always the one that stands out. I like how you wrote this and think it is a great entry for this contest too. I think all of us felt as you did at that age...I wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from livelylinda
michaelcahill: I was a bit disappointed with this story. It is so 13ish and I think you may be a bit beyond that age. Or, maybe, this is really how adult men think? You freaked me out a bit, for the first time. God bless you and Happy Easter. livelylinda
Since I now know that you are writing this from the perspective of a teen age boy, it makes sense and I have adjusted your rating. Linda
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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michaelcahill: I was a bit disappointed with this story. It is so 13ish and I think you may be a bit beyond that age. Or, maybe, this is really how adult men think? You freaked me out a bit, for the first time. God bless you and Happy Easter. livelylinda
Since I now know that you are writing this from the perspective of a teen age boy, it makes sense and I have adjusted your rating. Linda
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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A bit? Hahaha. Miles and miles beyond!!!! I hope adult men don't think like this, but from what I've heard from some women, I expect that some do. :)
This is written from the perspective of a teenage male, so I guess I achieved what I wanted to. Sorry to disappoint. mikey
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Michael: did I miss some Author Notes? Now that you tell me it was written from the perspective of a teenage male, it makes sense because I told you that is what it sounded like. You did achieve your goal. Some days I am just stupid . . .Linda
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Ha! I'm stupid most days. Thanks for the upgrade, most appreciated. Now I won't have to hold my breath till I die!! :)) mikey
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Mikey: breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, that's it! Now you feel so much better. God bless and Happy Easter. Linda
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Michael: did I miss some Author Notes? Now that you tell me it was written from the perspective of a teenage male, it makes sense because I told you that is what it sounded like. You did achieve your goal. Some days I am just stupid . . .Linda
Comment from Dean Kuch
I nearly entered this contest, Mikey. Now, I'm glad I saved my funny money for a rainy day.
This is raw, it feels genuine and real. The emotion Robert aka, "Blade" emotes are probably just the way something like this would go down. Sometimes, the fates do intervene on our behalf, while other times, e-h-h-h, not so much.
Maybe Robert and Laura were meant to be. Or, perhaps they'll give it another go and John will remain in the picture. Members of a ban are like brothers. They fight with each other like jealous siblings, but they also stick together. When I was in a band playing alto sax and singing back-up -- Buzz Saww was the name of the band; you may or may not have heard of us (LOL) -- we had an unwritten rule. No woman, chick, broad -- whatever connotation you want to lay on 'em -- was ever allowed to come between us, or the band. Then our band's founder, Jimmy Saww, up and gets married, leaving us behind.
Fate is fickle.
Good luck in your contest. ~Dean
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I nearly entered this contest, Mikey. Now, I'm glad I saved my funny money for a rainy day.
This is raw, it feels genuine and real. The emotion Robert aka, "Blade" emotes are probably just the way something like this would go down. Sometimes, the fates do intervene on our behalf, while other times, e-h-h-h, not so much.
Maybe Robert and Laura were meant to be. Or, perhaps they'll give it another go and John will remain in the picture. Members of a ban are like brothers. They fight with each other like jealous siblings, but they also stick together. When I was in a band playing alto sax and singing back-up -- Buzz Saww was the name of the band; you may or may not have heard of us (LOL) -- we had an unwritten rule. No woman, chick, broad -- whatever connotation you want to lay on 'em -- was ever allowed to come between us, or the band. Then our band's founder, Jimmy Saww, up and gets married, leaving us behind.
Fate is fickle.
Good luck in your contest. ~Dean
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from ragamuffin
A very lovely piece. I like the way it was expressed as thoughts in someone's head. Touching that the guy was so nervous about his new love, hurt and frustrated from the old. I'm sure many can relate. Always entertaining to have a surprise ending and always nice to have a happy ending. Well done.
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A very lovely piece. I like the way it was expressed as thoughts in someone's head. Touching that the guy was so nervous about his new love, hurt and frustrated from the old. I'm sure many can relate. Always entertaining to have a surprise ending and always nice to have a happy ending. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from amahra
Hey, Mike you never cease to be amazing. I'm not familiar with the contest, but I really thought this was a great contest entry. And you did well with lyrics. Don't forgot my new post, chapter 15.
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Hey, Mike you never cease to be amazing. I'm not familiar with the contest, but I really thought this was a great contest entry. And you did well with lyrics. Don't forgot my new post, chapter 15.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from CR Delport
Mikey, this is interesting and very well written. The thing with love is, you can't just stop loving someone because they don't love you anymore. Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
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Mikey, this is interesting and very well written. The thing with love is, you can't just stop loving someone because they don't love you anymore. Good job.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from samsaysagain
Excellent. Well done and good play on the lyrics. Wasn't sure what to expect since I'm not familiar with the lyrics except for reading them here. My only objection in reviewing this is the rather frequent use of 'cuss' words, especially "Christ". Golly, heck or shoot could fill in those places and the story would still be the same. Other than that, well done.
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Excellent. Well done and good play on the lyrics. Wasn't sure what to expect since I'm not familiar with the lyrics except for reading them here. My only objection in reviewing this is the rather frequent use of 'cuss' words, especially "Christ". Golly, heck or shoot could fill in those places and the story would still be the same. Other than that, well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi, Mikey, this is a great re-working of the Beatles' song and is surely going to be a huge contender for the contest. I really like the character, Blake, and his love trysts. You're right in your author notes - love hits the high and low notes! Good luck my friend, Pete :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hi, Mikey, this is a great re-working of the Beatles' song and is surely going to be a huge contender for the contest. I really like the character, Blake, and his love trysts. You're right in your author notes - love hits the high and low notes! Good luck my friend, Pete :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
