Reviews from

If I Fell

Short Story

29 total reviews 
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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This would make a terrific dramatic monologue up until the line "Well, here she comes." But since that wasn't your purpose, the ending cements the requirements of the prompt.
Great lead in that has we wonder if Blade can love anyone but himself. LOL

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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That was so sweet, Mikey. I loved it. The song titles are being used for a number of contests and short stories now. I think It's a great idea. I loved the name, Blade, very pop-starish! I enjoyed it lots. :) Sandra.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
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This was written in your 'it's hard to take me serious style'-maybe this is how you are in real life. Great sense of humour, whom people take advantage of. I am not meaning this in any disrespectful way to you, just thought it gave us a little bit of insight into your character. I am sure I display my character in my poems-sheep lover and flower freak! I am only kidding. It was an enjoyable story, I love that Beatles song, too. I can not help being a Beatles fan, seeing as I am a Liverpudlian. I liked the way it adhered to the song lyrics so well. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from penneylane
Excellent
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This was beautiful. The Beatles are amazing, to begin with. The story is so true tough. It can be beyond scary to let yourself love again after you've been broken. Almost to the point where you would avoid it at all costs just so you don't have to go through it again. You really brought that feeling to life with this story.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from K. Lorraine
Excellent
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YES, this is the first one of your stories that I really liked and could understand. You are a very talented writer and YES, YES, Yes, I loved this story. I could find no fault with it even if I tried. I admit, I did want to try because I like the banter that we sometimes field each other. I haven't read any of the other contest entries... I just stumbled across this one and couldn't stop reading it once that I began. I even read it backwards, sometimes I find mistakes and get something new out of it that I might have missed the first time around. But Nope Michael, for me, you nailed it! I loved it. Always a good sport, K. Lorraine

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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You jaded rock star you, you definitely capture the spirit of the song. Good thing that we all get second chances. And wasn't Magic Felix the spirit narrator of one of your books? Excellent story.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from nelliesellie
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I love the picture. I love the poem. Sounds like Blade believed in the persona just a little too much. He placed a lot of value on himself and very little on the girls that loved him. The singer wanted true love but failed to recognize it for a while. Great work.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from Lylise
Excellent
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Nice one. I know this is a somewhat serious piece but I had this huge smile on my face while I read it. Blade. Cracked my ass right up. Jeez, sparky, how much of this is historical? I sang with a band for a long time in my youth. This looks terribly familiar. LOL!!

Nice story. Flowed rather well. Nice, nice ending.

Good luck and well done.

Lynda

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed this immensley. I love how you wrave in the themes of the song and make them part of the story. It all leads up to the last line of your piece, which is the first line of the song. Perfect.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015

Comment from jpduck
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Yeah! Very sweet. And well written. But I'm afraid I gave up sugar a long time ago and I'm now just a cynical old git.

Just a couple of SPAGs (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):

'I love her*;* that is not in doubt'

' I like that*,* to tell you the truth'


Adrian


 Comment Written 02-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
    Ha! I had to reach waaaay back for this and listen to a lot of early Beatles music. Appreciate the grammar help. You should've seen me a year ago before my crash Fanstory grammar course! Thank you kindly. mikey