Let's Talk Dirty!
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "Lunch With Jacques Part One"The story about three women who need to make money
17 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
Like Laura's positive and somewhat aggressive approach. She's out to make a difference and that's great. Funny, how when someone experiences a certain problem at one time, then later the interest kicks in, and she wants to change the world. I guess that's human nature. As always, great dialogue. Also her self-confidence is very appealing. Your novel is starting close on very up beat, good feel. Les
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Like Laura's positive and somewhat aggressive approach. She's out to make a difference and that's great. Funny, how when someone experiences a certain problem at one time, then later the interest kicks in, and she wants to change the world. I guess that's human nature. As always, great dialogue. Also her self-confidence is very appealing. Your novel is starting close on very up beat, good feel. Les
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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It's amazing the difference a bit of confidence can make to someone's life, and used wisely, it can lead it even greater things. All three women have been on quite a journey, but the end is in sight! Thank you again for your reviews and encouragement, Les. Happy Easter! Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. This is another great chapter mate. She is getting very brave and I can feel her confidence boosting due to all the interest in her of late. Ten percent plus him building the site sounds good to me and so does that seafood dish!
Delia, my princess! How is that baboy ulo (pig head) and manok tiel (chicken feet) coming along? Is it almost ready? I've just been reading "Let's Talk Dirty" and I'm starving!
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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G'day Alexis. This is another great chapter mate. She is getting very brave and I can feel her confidence boosting due to all the interest in her of late. Ten percent plus him building the site sounds good to me and so does that seafood dish!
Delia, my princess! How is that baboy ulo (pig head) and manok tiel (chicken feet) coming along? Is it almost ready? I've just been reading "Let's Talk Dirty" and I'm starving!
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Lol, you've done it again. Great big cheesy grin on my face! I hope you and your family are having a great weekend. Alexis xxx
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Alexis. "Settle for?" ", she settled on a black, wool, cowl-necked sweater dress. It stopped two inches above the knee, and showed off her well-toned calves to perfection with the black, high heels she'd bought at Primark in their after Christmas sale. (I think that is "hot" LOL
Another good chapter for you, my friend. More good descriptive images too:
" At sixty-one, he was a fit looking man. His hair, which curled teasingly on his collar, was an abundant mass of salt and pepper curls, and his tan emphasised the blueness of his eyes and the chiselled edge of his chin. (chiseled only has one "L" though.
Also: good "hook" at the end. " 'I don't think there's a market for this... I know there is...'
(Just curious...why do I not get reviews from you of late? (: Bob
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Hi, Alexis. "Settle for?" ", she settled on a black, wool, cowl-necked sweater dress. It stopped two inches above the knee, and showed off her well-toned calves to perfection with the black, high heels she'd bought at Primark in their after Christmas sale. (I think that is "hot" LOL
Another good chapter for you, my friend. More good descriptive images too:
" At sixty-one, he was a fit looking man. His hair, which curled teasingly on his collar, was an abundant mass of salt and pepper curls, and his tan emphasised the blueness of his eyes and the chiselled edge of his chin. (chiseled only has one "L" though.
Also: good "hook" at the end. " 'I don't think there's a market for this... I know there is...'
(Just curious...why do I not get reviews from you of late? (: Bob
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Hi, Bob. It's another of those 'pond' things, I'm afraid. I invariably settle 'on' something, as opposed to 'for' something, and 'Chiselled' is spelt with two l's in the UK.
Please don't take offence if I can't review every chapter. Like you, my time is limited, and I am following five books at the moment, but read every chapter, promoted or not. I think we just regard reviewing differently, that's all.
Alexis x
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Hi, alexis. I agree.. I will be reading yours from now on, but please don't be offended that i don't write it. I have learned on this site over the last ten years that one hand washes the other in order to truly make friends and keep them though. If one has time to post a buch of their own writing...they should take time oput to review those who support them. Bye bye, Alexis. Bob
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear BC - Laura pulled it off, and you helped us believe she could pull it off. Really confident approach for her. Nicely penned - you delivered as well.
Thanks for sharing,
love
wc
xx
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Dear BC - Laura pulled it off, and you helped us believe she could pull it off. Really confident approach for her. Nicely penned - you delivered as well.
Thanks for sharing,
love
wc
xx
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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When I first started writing 'Let's Talk Dirty' it was with a view to exposing my friendship sites at the end, because my pals think it's a great idea. Lending my story to Laura has allowed me to do that, so I'm delighted that you feel it worked okay in the transition. Phew! Much love, Alexis xxx
Comment from MelB
The meeting was a success. She was quite confident, knew what she wanted to say and handled Jacques really well. No sexy chat? - LOL - typical dude. I would think the friendship chat line would be a huge success. Well done!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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The meeting was a success. She was quite confident, knew what she wanted to say and handled Jacques really well. No sexy chat? - LOL - typical dude. I would think the friendship chat line would be a huge success. Well done!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Fingers crossed! Thank you so much for your review and continued support. Both are appreciated. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Laura sounds so confidence talking to Jacque and he seems a pretty understanding kind of fellow... so many people out there that are alone after being widowed or divorced who need to have contact with others in the same boat - a chat line for friendship is a great idea - it all sounds as if it might be a real success.
Margaret
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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Laura sounds so confidence talking to Jacque and he seems a pretty understanding kind of fellow... so many people out there that are alone after being widowed or divorced who need to have contact with others in the same boat - a chat line for friendship is a great idea - it all sounds as if it might be a real success.
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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I thought it was about time Laura had a dishy man for company. It's been a long time coming! Good news is, Laura can give up the chat line. Phew! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
BRAVO!! This is a great Chapter!!!
Once inside, they were shown to a table for two, before the waiter asked them what they wanted to drink. -Sometime in my editing I miss things. Could this be one of those places? The reason I ask is the 'before' the waiter asked... before what? Do you mean to say more? Might take a look but it might just be me. LOL
Well done, my friend. Excellent writing! :-D
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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BRAVO!! This is a great Chapter!!!
Once inside, they were shown to a table for two, before the waiter asked them what they wanted to drink. -Sometime in my editing I miss things. Could this be one of those places? The reason I ask is the 'before' the waiter asked... before what? Do you mean to say more? Might take a look but it might just be me. LOL
Well done, my friend. Excellent writing! :-D
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2015
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I'm so glad you enjoyed it! This was a fairly critical chapter for me because I had to transfer all of my experiences to Laura, but with a different twist (the friendship sites) Your precious six says it all to me, my friend. Thank you!
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi, Alexis, this is a wonderful chapter and a brilliant idea from Laura. I think you have hit the perfect notes in this short chapter and I agree it's a great idea. We have the Samaritans but that's for people in extreme distress. A chat-line for people to talk over life changes is such a good idea. You should patent it if it hasn't already been done on the net! Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hi, Alexis, this is a wonderful chapter and a brilliant idea from Laura. I think you have hit the perfect notes in this short chapter and I agree it's a great idea. We have the Samaritans but that's for people in extreme distress. A chat-line for people to talk over life changes is such a good idea. You should patent it if it hasn't already been done on the net! Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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I already own all the domain names around the world, and although I have them as dating sites at the moment, they will revert to the original concept as soon as the book is published. Fingers crossed they might make a difference to the 'new generation of internet savvy grannies and granddads. Fingers crossed! Alexis xxx
Comment from Cat of Letters
Hi again Alexis,
Bravo, the sense of this is brilliant, and this is a really strong chapter. I love the way Laura tackles Jacques here.
But you have a lot of minute errors - mostly needed tweaks rather than real spag - in it, and you have just so happened to land me in a keen editor mode, as I edited one of my own chapter's yesterday.
So here goes:
order of the day (comma)
had in Italics - debatable whether the emphasis is needed.
Where would it all end up ? Laura had
a bit premature (cut bit)
suede jacket (comma)
very cosmopolitan (cut very)
you could cut 'for his age' too. He was still/he remained a fit looking man
his hair =cut the 'still'
Your French phrases - in Italics
had, (comma) at last (comma)
a man (comma) at a table of four (comma)
he then winked at her (cut then)
couple of moments (Period) cut so. New sentence: She told J
you sites?' missed ' at end of quote
J asked (comma)
but I am sure I--
two dashes, no space, not . . . for interrupted speech. Not . . . (That is for pauses in speech only.)
Laura looked sad. (Try to do better here. Show how she looks or acts sad.
she'd printed off earlier. (Period) She passed it to J . . .
Suggest a new para before the Laura's speech
dating site. (period) cut 'and' Now the press . ..
her second slug of wine - a sounds better than her here
momentarily and immediately in one sentence. I suggest you cut the immediately
handbook
Sorry this is rather curt and regimental, but I think it is a really good and important chapter and you need this strong and to the letter.
By the way there must be a typo in your chapter heading too as it says this is Patr One. Lol! Easy to do in those silly little boxes.
Cheers, Alison
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hi again Alexis,
Bravo, the sense of this is brilliant, and this is a really strong chapter. I love the way Laura tackles Jacques here.
But you have a lot of minute errors - mostly needed tweaks rather than real spag - in it, and you have just so happened to land me in a keen editor mode, as I edited one of my own chapter's yesterday.
So here goes:
order of the day (comma)
had in Italics - debatable whether the emphasis is needed.
Where would it all end up ? Laura had
a bit premature (cut bit)
suede jacket (comma)
very cosmopolitan (cut very)
you could cut 'for his age' too. He was still/he remained a fit looking man
his hair =cut the 'still'
Your French phrases - in Italics
had, (comma) at last (comma)
a man (comma) at a table of four (comma)
he then winked at her (cut then)
couple of moments (Period) cut so. New sentence: She told J
you sites?' missed ' at end of quote
J asked (comma)
but I am sure I--
two dashes, no space, not . . . for interrupted speech. Not . . . (That is for pauses in speech only.)
Laura looked sad. (Try to do better here. Show how she looks or acts sad.
she'd printed off earlier. (Period) She passed it to J . . .
Suggest a new para before the Laura's speech
dating site. (period) cut 'and' Now the press . ..
her second slug of wine - a sounds better than her here
momentarily and immediately in one sentence. I suggest you cut the immediately
handbook
Sorry this is rather curt and regimental, but I think it is a really good and important chapter and you need this strong and to the letter.
By the way there must be a typo in your chapter heading too as it says this is Patr One. Lol! Easy to do in those silly little boxes.
Cheers, Alison
Comment Written 01-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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As I always say, I never feel happy until you've reviewed a chapter, and this was obviously no exception. The good news is, as a result of your review, I've changed a few bits (plus made all your suggested corrections,) and I feel really proud of it now. Today's chapter might have a few problems too, because it's a major rewrite, but knowing you have my back, I'm not too worried. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Curly Girly
Clever Laura! She has it all at her fingertips--almost!
Laura could just imagine what Karen and Jenny would think if she's admitted how attractive
[Laura could imagine] what Karen and Jenny would think if [she] admitted how attractive
Jacques frown returned.
Jacque's frown returned.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Clever Laura! She has it all at her fingertips--almost!
Laura could just imagine what Karen and Jenny would think if she's admitted how attractive
[Laura could imagine] what Karen and Jenny would think if [she] admitted how attractive
Jacques frown returned.
Jacque's frown returned.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Well spotted, Nicole, and just when I thought I'd caught all the little blighters. Now sorted! My thanks again for your continued support and really helpful reviews. Alexis x
