In Fields of Clover
Casualty of war56 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This must touch the hearts of many who have lost their loved ones, male of female, child of grandpants, they are all being killed in senseless wars. Excellent writing, and powerful but sad words. xsx Sandra.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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This must touch the hearts of many who have lost their loved ones, male of female, child of grandpants, they are all being killed in senseless wars. Excellent writing, and powerful but sad words. xsx Sandra.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you Sandra Mitchell, I really appreciate your wonderful comments. I pray that my poem brings a measure of comfort rather than sadness to any who may have suffered the terrible pain of loss.
Comment from rama devi
A fine tribute, Nomi. Written a simple, direct style with fine flow and rhyming (and slant rhyme too). Excellent use of the imagery in two different contexts: lovemaking(life) and war(death). Dramatic and effective. Conveys your theme clearly, in a touching manner. Well done. I also think your choice to avoid punctuation works well for this poem. i am wondering if you really need that period at the end? It seems an odd choice, when there is no end line punctuation.
Also, I wonder if inline punctuation might serve this line well (in terms of reading rhythm):
Then one day a letter came to say
Then, one day, a letter came to say
This sounds fine read aloud.
Potent context, well explored. Fine presentation too.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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A fine tribute, Nomi. Written a simple, direct style with fine flow and rhyming (and slant rhyme too). Excellent use of the imagery in two different contexts: lovemaking(life) and war(death). Dramatic and effective. Conveys your theme clearly, in a touching manner. Well done. I also think your choice to avoid punctuation works well for this poem. i am wondering if you really need that period at the end? It seems an odd choice, when there is no end line punctuation.
Also, I wonder if inline punctuation might serve this line well (in terms of reading rhythm):
Then one day a letter came to say
Then, one day, a letter came to say
This sounds fine read aloud.
Potent context, well explored. Fine presentation too.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hello my friend. Your wonderfully kind words are like music to my senses, I sit here thrilled by the great things you have written. I cannot thank you enough for your fine comments
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Aw. thanks for your lovely comments, Nomi dear. So glad you're glad! :) Warmly, rd
Comment from Pantygynt
A very tight little poem that conveys the futility of war very clearly in its four simple stanzas. I don't see any need to change a thing here. A little masterpiece. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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A very tight little poem that conveys the futility of war very clearly in its four simple stanzas. I don't see any need to change a thing here. A little masterpiece. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Wow! Your comments knock me out. I am thrilled by the kind and supportive comments I have received for this poem. I now have to contend with the threat of flopping or failing on my next project. LOL. Seriously, I appreciate yor review very much.
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Best wishes.
Comment from maryjq57
Sweet and sorrowful...as love always is. Tender prose filled with emotion-and a story so many will tell for generations to come. Thank you.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Sweet and sorrowful...as love always is. Tender prose filled with emotion-and a story so many will tell for generations to come. Thank you.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your warm and kind comments.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This is a very powerful piece. IEDs have been around for a long, long time before the conflict in the middle east was so well reported. petrol bombs, pipe bombs and the like, nail bombs. A fitting tribute to those who have been afflicted by this blight.
GMG
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hi there,
This is a very powerful piece. IEDs have been around for a long, long time before the conflict in the middle east was so well reported. petrol bombs, pipe bombs and the like, nail bombs. A fitting tribute to those who have been afflicted by this blight.
GMG
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you, I tried to explain in the off chance that someone reading the poem might not have heard of IEDs, if that is even possible. Thank you very much for your fine review comments.
Comment from Pancho Kid
A powerful poem........and it must resonate with those who lose loved ones in (usually pointless) wars. The title evokes the theme, and reminded me in ways of the Great War poems....Flanders fields, and all that. It reads well, and meaning holds sway over rhyme, which is good.
Thanks
Pancho Kid
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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A powerful poem........and it must resonate with those who lose loved ones in (usually pointless) wars. The title evokes the theme, and reminded me in ways of the Great War poems....Flanders fields, and all that. It reads well, and meaning holds sway over rhyme, which is good.
Thanks
Pancho Kid
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you Pancho Kid. I thoroughly enjoyed your wonderful comments and am totally flattered by the mention of Flanders fields in the same breath as mention of my poem.
Comment from Jacob Collins
I find it interesting how you speak of fields of clovers. Here in England we always associate war with the poppy which originated in the poem: In Flanders Fields during the First World War. A Well written piece, I thought that your writing flowed well and I couldn't find any faults. Thanks for sharing...Jacob
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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I find it interesting how you speak of fields of clovers. Here in England we always associate war with the poppy which originated in the poem: In Flanders Fields during the First World War. A Well written piece, I thought that your writing flowed well and I couldn't find any faults. Thanks for sharing...Jacob
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you for reading it and making such fine comments. I appreciate them very much. I am very much flattered to have my poem mentioned in the same breath as Flanders Fields.
Comment from stephybs
This is written well and tells a tale of the sadness that war and loss bring. Your description of this piece plays out like a short film and gives great fission. Excellent poetry!. Stephybs
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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This is written well and tells a tale of the sadness that war and loss bring. Your description of this piece plays out like a short film and gives great fission. Excellent poetry!. Stephybs
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. It is always a deep pleasure to have your work praised even a little bit and your comments go way beyond a little bit.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello nomi338, If only those fields of clovers could talk, what stories they could tell. I enjoyed reading your poem. Of special note:
In those same fields of clover I marked
Where your body will forever reside
Those fields of clover have been watered
By the tears that I have cried.
(Very sad ~ emotionally moving)
Great artwork choice. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hello nomi338, If only those fields of clovers could talk, what stories they could tell. I enjoyed reading your poem. Of special note:
In those same fields of clover I marked
Where your body will forever reside
Those fields of clover have been watered
By the tears that I have cried.
(Very sad ~ emotionally moving)
Great artwork choice. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 02-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hello LateBloomer. There is nothing late about youUhr awesome comments. I am so pleased that you enjoyed the poem. My biggest nightmare would be to write a poem, submit it and no one cared.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Faye, it is so sad for all the women and men who went to fight for our country...and had to leave their families...this is so very sad...your poem is very well written...God Bless..luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Hi Faye, it is so sad for all the women and men who went to fight for our country...and had to leave their families...this is so very sad...your poem is very well written...God Bless..luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 01-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015
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Uh, hello luff Linda. I thank you very much for your enthusiastic response to my poem. Your comments are wonderful and it gives me much joy to read them.
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you are always so welcome...and it gives me a joy to read your poems...Love Linda xxoo
