Stand Strong
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "You Light Up the Night"Social pressures threaten a childhood friendship
46 total reviews
Comment from PatVallesMangan
You have done an excellent job of showing the feelings of growing up. A great combination of a time of great change, especially with such feelings as one becomes so involved in the church. This truly shows the problems of this age and growing up. So much conflict, yet so much growth happening. I truly enjoyed. Blessings Bright! Pat
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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You have done an excellent job of showing the feelings of growing up. A great combination of a time of great change, especially with such feelings as one becomes so involved in the church. This truly shows the problems of this age and growing up. So much conflict, yet so much growth happening. I truly enjoyed. Blessings Bright! Pat
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Hi, Pat. Thank you very much for this very gracious review. Your insights are appreciated as is the encouragement. Happy Easter! :) Bev
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very well written and holds the reader's interest.
-I like the opening of the chapter, because it appears to be happening.
-Then, going to hearing her mother calling puts her between the reality of the day, and what she had been dreaming.
-The next section is a good transition between how Mara was really feeling, and her mother going back in time to Mara's early experience in the kid's program.
-A fitting ending scene when Mara is lovingly greeted by the little girl Mazie, and she shows her love for Mara,and vice-versa.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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-Very well written and holds the reader's interest.
-I like the opening of the chapter, because it appears to be happening.
-Then, going to hearing her mother calling puts her between the reality of the day, and what she had been dreaming.
-The next section is a good transition between how Mara was really feeling, and her mother going back in time to Mara's early experience in the kid's program.
-A fitting ending scene when Mara is lovingly greeted by the little girl Mazie, and she shows her love for Mara,and vice-versa.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Hi, respa1. Thank you for this most gracious and in-depth review. I appreciate your encouragement and support!
:) Bev
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You are welcome.
Comment from Deniz22
This is good chapter to "flesh out" your main character (although "flesh" might be a bit punny used here). I think it's good to show the importance of a solid Christian home as the basis of many good decisions (hopefully) ahead in the story. Nice to include a solid church as well since it is the missing factor in many teen stories. Looking forward to the next chapter...good work...
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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This is good chapter to "flesh out" your main character (although "flesh" might be a bit punny used here). I think it's good to show the importance of a solid Christian home as the basis of many good decisions (hopefully) ahead in the story. Nice to include a solid church as well since it is the missing factor in many teen stories. Looking forward to the next chapter...good work...
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Thanks so much, Deniz, for your gracious and generous review. I appreciate the insight about this transitional chapter. I agree there needs to be much more community involvement with today's teens. Personally, I think a church is the perfect answer to that.
Wishing you a lovely Easter,
Bev
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Thanks Bev, happy Easter to you and yours as well. YBIC, Dennis
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:0)
Comment from royowen
This is such a lovely story Bev. Written sensitively about a young teenage Christian girl, and probably dealing with all the incumbent problems of an attractive teenager. This excerpt was particularly touching with Mara dealing with an adoring little girl, who greets Mara rapturously thinking she wasn't coming t church! There's a nice moment when Mara's eyes meet her mothers. Well done, Bev, blessings, Roy.Spag:- Previously (to hold) teeth=held?
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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This is such a lovely story Bev. Written sensitively about a young teenage Christian girl, and probably dealing with all the incumbent problems of an attractive teenager. This excerpt was particularly touching with Mara dealing with an adoring little girl, who greets Mara rapturously thinking she wasn't coming t church! There's a nice moment when Mara's eyes meet her mothers. Well done, Bev, blessings, Roy.Spag:- Previously (to hold) teeth=held?
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Hi, Roy. Thank you so very much for this very encouraging review. I'm pleased you liked the ending with little Mazie. I just love the little ones in church. They seem to just belong there. Hope you have a wonderful Easter, my friend.
I had changed that spaggie once but forgot to refresh afterwards. Thanks for pointing it out, Roy.
:0) Bev
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Well done, Bev.
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Thanks again, Roy.
Comment from Drew Delaney
empty spaces that previously to hold teeth - held teeth
Lovely story. It sounds like you are doing real well writing for the young teen genre.
They are a smart bunch. My granddaughter who is 13 read a book I was reading. Forgot the title now. It was about a Jewish man whom the German family had hid during the second world war. I will look up the name of the book. I loved it and so did she. I am just telling you that so you don't mistake your audience as being unlearned. Writing for this age is very difficult. Keep it geared to an older age and you might be on target.
I liked the dream. That would work for sure. And the tone of the mother works real well. The cute scene at the end is good. I think you will do well. Keep up the great work. Drew xx
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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empty spaces that previously to hold teeth - held teeth
Lovely story. It sounds like you are doing real well writing for the young teen genre.
They are a smart bunch. My granddaughter who is 13 read a book I was reading. Forgot the title now. It was about a Jewish man whom the German family had hid during the second world war. I will look up the name of the book. I loved it and so did she. I am just telling you that so you don't mistake your audience as being unlearned. Writing for this age is very difficult. Keep it geared to an older age and you might be on target.
I liked the dream. That would work for sure. And the tone of the mother works real well. The cute scene at the end is good. I think you will do well. Keep up the great work. Drew xx
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Hi, Drew. Thanks for the spag check and for the advice. I agree with you about that generation, they are very intelligent AND very well read. My nieces have been reading voraciously for years and carry on brilliant conversations at times. Makes my blush to think how much behind them I was at that age.
Thanks a bunch, my friend.
:) Bev
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The name of the book is BOOK THIEF. It's a wonderful book and I agree with you, I never read a real book unless I absolutely had to. I read comics, and magazines. Too bad we were not made to read novels at that time. But we were to memorize poetry which I am happy was placed upon us. Drew
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Oh, yes. I see that was made into a movie, which is on my list to watch. Thanks for the information, Drew. :)
Comment from c_lucas
Being of the old school, I prefer just the piano and the organ. They are enough for me. You are doing a wonderful job of showing youth participating in church service.
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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Being of the old school, I prefer just the piano and the organ. They are enough for me. You are doing a wonderful job of showing youth participating in church service.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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Hi, Charlie. Thank you so much for your very kind review. I appreciate the encouragement. :) Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
