senryu (poster lists strict rules)
senryu Entry on Contest Rules6 total reviews
Comment from Bobbi22
The true beauty may be gray, but gray can still get an entry disqualified. While this is a very well written senryu on contest rules, the rules for this contest state that the senryu is supposed to be a 5-7-5 and this is a 5-5-5. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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The true beauty may be gray, but gray can still get an entry disqualified. While this is a very well written senryu on contest rules, the rules for this contest state that the senryu is supposed to be a 5-7-5 and this is a 5-5-5. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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I added two to the second line. Thank you! I see that in the rules for this particular senryu! Thanks!
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is gorgeous and worthy of a six. Yes, often true beauty lies beneath black and white. Your picture is stunning and compliments the piece perfectly.
However, the contest rules called for 5-7-5 senryu, and your syllable count is 5-5-5. The contest compliance committee is very strict on syllable count, so this has to be changed before the deadline to qualify.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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This is gorgeous and worthy of a six. Yes, often true beauty lies beneath black and white. Your picture is stunning and compliments the piece perfectly.
However, the contest rules called for 5-7-5 senryu, and your syllable count is 5-5-5. The contest compliance committee is very strict on syllable count, so this has to be changed before the deadline to qualify.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015
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I knew that was confusing. On the prompt it says that some are Not those syllables. It makes it seem like that is okay. Hmm. I'll go check and change! Maybe I can tell you afterwards so you could take a small look again?
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How about now? You don't have to review it's okay if you don't want to. I truly THANK YOU for the review. Saved me! ;)
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It is perfect now - I will upgrade the rating.
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Oh thank you! And thank you for the advice! :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your picture is perfect for your words. You are right about the 5-5-5 syllable count. However, the rules state 5-7-5. I believe your count will cause this to be disqualified b/c it states definitely 5-7-5.
Your theme is perfectly expressed with your words.
Good job. Good luck in the contest.
**It does say that non-traditional senryu can have less than the 17 syls.
However, at the top of the page it describes the 5/7/5 in detail. I would private message the sponsor and get an explanation. Click on the name that you see in blue and it will take you to the sponsor's page, then click on contact, from there you can send a PM private message. Good luck.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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Your picture is perfect for your words. You are right about the 5-5-5 syllable count. However, the rules state 5-7-5. I believe your count will cause this to be disqualified b/c it states definitely 5-7-5.
Your theme is perfectly expressed with your words.
Good job. Good luck in the contest.
**It does say that non-traditional senryu can have less than the 17 syls.
However, at the top of the page it describes the 5/7/5 in detail. I would private message the sponsor and get an explanation. Click on the name that you see in blue and it will take you to the sponsor's page, then click on contact, from there you can send a PM private message. Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your review! Could you check for me please. It looks the third paragraph says it is okay. Am I reading correctly?
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The first line has 5 syls which it is required and the third line has 5 as required. It is that pesky 2nd line that needs 7 syllables. I would change it to 7, but that is your call. I had a poem DQed last week b/c of too few syls.
poster lists strict rules 5 syllables
inked in black and white 5 syls
true beauty is gray 5 syls
Could you do something like this for 2nd line:
inked only in black and white--7 syls
inked on ly in black and white
Comment from Debbie Noland
A very nice symbolic statement that both extremes are often harsh and unrealistic, and that, in many if not most situations, compromise--illustrated by gray--is far superior. An effective call for open-mindedness and flexibility of view and deed is very appropriate for our day and time.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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A very nice symbolic statement that both extremes are often harsh and unrealistic, and that, in many if not most situations, compromise--illustrated by gray--is far superior. An effective call for open-mindedness and flexibility of view and deed is very appropriate for our day and time.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Debbie!
Comment from Dawny53
I really admire this entry, I love what you have created here, in making us all realize that what is black and white is so restricting.. bring in the grey.. very creative and smart.. very smart!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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I really admire this entry, I love what you have created here, in making us all realize that what is black and white is so restricting.. bring in the grey.. very creative and smart.. very smart!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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Thank you. That's a great compliment. Thank you.
Comment from Janet7053
I like this a lot. Says you are a non conformist in that as soon as the rules said black/white, you thought of how beautiful grey is. That's very cool!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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I like this a lot. Says you are a non conformist in that as soon as the rules said black/white, you thought of how beautiful grey is. That's very cool!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015
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Thanks Janet! I appreciate your words!
