Unpleasant revelation (391 words)
Seeing a parent in an unfavorable light.,7 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
You written a very nice story. The dialogue is realistic and drives the story to its excellent conclusion. The theme , through the eyes of a child, is woven into the story from beginning to end. The photograph is nice and adds interest.
This story should be a very strong contender for the contest.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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You written a very nice story. The dialogue is realistic and drives the story to its excellent conclusion. The theme , through the eyes of a child, is woven into the story from beginning to end. The photograph is nice and adds interest.
This story should be a very strong contender for the contest.
Excellent.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks for the great review.
Comment from mommerry
This was an interesting and catchy read and was well done. The child's view was probably never considered or even heard by the parent. What we could learn if we communicated better with those closest to us. Good job.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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This was an interesting and catchy read and was well done. The child's view was probably never considered or even heard by the parent. What we could learn if we communicated better with those closest to us. Good job.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Tatarka2
Well, Amanda certainly got it right, didn't she? Good story. I wonder whether there might be more to this. Maybe you could consider telling other, longer stories from Amanda's viewpoint? I think she has quite a bit to say.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Well, Amanda certainly got it right, didn't she? Good story. I wonder whether there might be more to this. Maybe you could consider telling other, longer stories from Amanda's viewpoint? I think she has quite a bit to say.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thank you fo the kind review. Something to think about.
Comment from Eric1
This is a really excellent entry for this through the eyes of a child competition, the look of horror on the the neighbours face and the sweet innocence of Amanda till her kin were mentioned, good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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This is a really excellent entry for this through the eyes of a child competition, the look of horror on the the neighbours face and the sweet innocence of Amanda till her kin were mentioned, good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are very welcome
Comment from Dean Kuch
I've always found it funny how people can act so pious and holier-than-thou in church, when in reality they"re nothing but hypocritical bigots. Whether it be racial bigotry or bigotry directed at those who prefer a different lifestyle than the majority of us do, you'll always find them there in the front pew, praising God and shouting, "Halleluiah, praise the Lord!" louder than anyone else. And it's nothing but a show. Your well written story caused me to think of a few just like that who'd I'd love nothing more than to tell them to sit down and shut their pie-holes. But, I don't. I'm far too civilized to do something like that. I think, LOL.
Great story. Best of luck to you in the contest. :)
~Dean
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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I've always found it funny how people can act so pious and holier-than-thou in church, when in reality they"re nothing but hypocritical bigots. Whether it be racial bigotry or bigotry directed at those who prefer a different lifestyle than the majority of us do, you'll always find them there in the front pew, praising God and shouting, "Halleluiah, praise the Lord!" louder than anyone else. And it's nothing but a show. Your well written story caused me to think of a few just like that who'd I'd love nothing more than to tell them to sit down and shut their pie-holes. But, I don't. I'm far too civilized to do something like that. I think, LOL.
Great story. Best of luck to you in the contest. :)
~Dean
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Dean. I share the sentiment. It might be a small percentage, but it was enough to turn me off of organized religion when I was young.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
What a great kicker for an ending. Nicely penned.
...Change to upper case, unless you address as -- my momma OR your momma OR their momma
- Now, if I'm not ready on time, [m](M)omma will be
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Hi...
What a great kicker for an ending. Nicely penned.
...Change to upper case, unless you address as -- my momma OR your momma OR their momma
- Now, if I'm not ready on time, [m](M)omma will be
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Eigle Rull
Oh, wow! This is one very well written story about bigotry. Your words hit the jackpot here. They were easy to read and understand, and they conveyed exactly what you intended them to say. This was fantastic, my friend. I think it was excellent - especially the ending.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Oh, wow! This is one very well written story about bigotry. Your words hit the jackpot here. They were easy to read and understand, and they conveyed exactly what you intended them to say. This was fantastic, my friend. I think it was excellent - especially the ending.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thank you for the awesome review. My focus is usually poetry but I am trying to branch out a bit. Thanks again.
