Ten Elephants
Elephants march to their sunset.56 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well told but sooo sad. It grieves me to no end about the deaths of these majestic animals being killed. The picture is perfect but so sad. too. Your poem chronicles the plight of elephants. Your extensive author notes are very informative. No changes needed with this poem only with the attitude of those who murder the elephants. Good job and thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest. I believe children can handle this poem if they are guided by an informative adult in the telling of it. I know young children see/hear worse on tv/movies/everyday life.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Well told but sooo sad. It grieves me to no end about the deaths of these majestic animals being killed. The picture is perfect but so sad. too. Your poem chronicles the plight of elephants. Your extensive author notes are very informative. No changes needed with this poem only with the attitude of those who murder the elephants. Good job and thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest. I believe children can handle this poem if they are guided by an informative adult in the telling of it. I know young children see/hear worse on tv/movies/everyday life.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your review and contest well wishes. I felt nauseous researching elephant poaching for my poem and staring at photos of bullet-ridden, decapitated elephants. Poachers probably use more than ten ways to kill elephants.
Comment from Cat of Letters
Hi,
This is tragic. You really should send it to some organization who does elephant conservation to help them raise awareness and so it can be more widely read.
I don't know if it is really suitable for children, I imagine it would upset them a good deal. But it is a great poem.
Best wishes Alison
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Hi,
This is tragic. You really should send it to some organization who does elephant conservation to help them raise awareness and so it can be more widely read.
I don't know if it is really suitable for children, I imagine it would upset them a good deal. But it is a great poem.
Best wishes Alison
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Alison, for your kind, six star review. I like your idea of submitting it to an elephant conservation organization. Reviewers are divided over whether or not children should read it. People are passionate on both sides, but we all agree on the horrors of elephant poaching. Thank you for your review.
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Thank you, Alison, for your kind, six star review. I like your idea of submitting it to an elephant conservation organization. Reviewers are divided over whether or not children should read it. People are passionate on both sides, but we all agree on the horrors of elephant poaching. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Game officials are in with them. All about money. We are losing them off the globe. Man made destruction as he always does with everything. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Game officials are in with them. All about money. We are losing them off the globe. Man made destruction as he always does with everything. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Yes, Ben, I heard that, too, about game officials. The same applies to the military. There is documented evidence that poachers used military helicopters and anti-tank mines to kill elephants. What is the world coming to. Thank you for your review and contest well wishes.
Comment from ElPoetry001
Excellent
Children will continue to learn from stories and metaphors, just like we did, and it may be the only refuge and pulpit for writers, because of the haters who parse writing on the basis that some person, animal, vegetable, or fruit would be offended.
The stifling can take many forms, but writers must not be silenced. The majority of damage that mankind suffers is when people do not speak out.
Your poem is for the children, adults, and politicians-elephant and ass-and all who refuse reality, and live on euphemisms
Who will stand for us, and what will we stand for; and salute?
It hums as the story is told, and the observations so bold, as each loss is entered, on register in a roll, list, or record, and in the minds of humanity.
Terrorists must be labeled and hunted, no more euphemisms as to who is doing what.
Maybe they are not among us in a high percentage, but they are building boats, and bombs.
Yes, the count down has been started, and many thousands watch, for thus far, no one has gored their ox.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Excellent
Children will continue to learn from stories and metaphors, just like we did, and it may be the only refuge and pulpit for writers, because of the haters who parse writing on the basis that some person, animal, vegetable, or fruit would be offended.
The stifling can take many forms, but writers must not be silenced. The majority of damage that mankind suffers is when people do not speak out.
Your poem is for the children, adults, and politicians-elephant and ass-and all who refuse reality, and live on euphemisms
Who will stand for us, and what will we stand for; and salute?
It hums as the story is told, and the observations so bold, as each loss is entered, on register in a roll, list, or record, and in the minds of humanity.
Terrorists must be labeled and hunted, no more euphemisms as to who is doing what.
Maybe they are not among us in a high percentage, but they are building boats, and bombs.
Yes, the count down has been started, and many thousands watch, for thus far, no one has gored their ox.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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ElPoetry001, I cried when I read your passionate, six star review. Some reviewers said I should not have written it for children. You are right, this poem is for everyone. We cannot close our eyes to what is happening. Thank you for your review.
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ElPoetry001, I cried when I read your passionate, six star review. Some reviewers said I should not have written it for children. You are right, this poem is for everyone. We cannot close our eyes to what is happening. Thank you for your review.
Comment from zanya
Yes the majestic and wonderful creature is endangered on our planet - a most striking portrayal of how unjustly we treat this animal - well captured in these couplets
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Yes the majestic and wonderful creature is endangered on our planet - a most striking portrayal of how unjustly we treat this animal - well captured in these couplets
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Zanya, for your kind review. A painted a striking portrait of elephant poaching.
Comment from choice
I found this poem very powerful. The rhyming pattern worked perfectly and it was a very good read. I liked your use of couplets.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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I found this poem very powerful. The rhyming pattern worked perfectly and it was a very good read. I liked your use of couplets.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Choice, for your kind review. I am glad you found my poem powerful.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Brooke - not an easy task to write about death for children, but you have done very well with this poem. It deals with death but also makes a good point how the numbers of elephants in the wild are diminishing because of all the reasons you give in your poem. Very clever. It is also very informative for children and makes them aware of the dangers animals are facing in the wild. A good read. Very good approach to death and good accompanying author notes. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Hi Brooke - not an easy task to write about death for children, but you have done very well with this poem. It deals with death but also makes a good point how the numbers of elephants in the wild are diminishing because of all the reasons you give in your poem. Very clever. It is also very informative for children and makes them aware of the dangers animals are facing in the wild. A good read. Very good approach to death and good accompanying author notes. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your kind review and six stars, especially since I am not Brooke, but a poet much like yourself who admires her work. Brooke's "Ten Elephants" poem inspired me to write my own. Both Brooke and you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review and the well wishes in the contest.
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Hi - whoever you are your poem is great - LOL - Dx
Comment from sgalletti
Oh my! I absolutely adore elephants. They are such magnificent creatures with so many human qualities - empathy and matriarchial instincts among them. You might enjoy Jodi Picoult's recent book "Leaving Time." Just yesterday, I posted on Facebook an article about a herd of elephants visiting the post of a man who had saved them and recently passed away. Images of whole herds lying dead because of poaching of their tusks haunts me. Such a waste! I read Brooke's piece. This is definitely a very different take. Well done. You moved me. Good luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Oh my! I absolutely adore elephants. They are such magnificent creatures with so many human qualities - empathy and matriarchial instincts among them. You might enjoy Jodi Picoult's recent book "Leaving Time." Just yesterday, I posted on Facebook an article about a herd of elephants visiting the post of a man who had saved them and recently passed away. Images of whole herds lying dead because of poaching of their tusks haunts me. Such a waste! I read Brooke's piece. This is definitely a very different take. Well done. You moved me. Good luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you for the kind review and contest well wishes. I cannot help but to think we are killing a part of ourselves when we kill these elephants. I am glad my poem moved you.
Comment from mbagby23
Very sad. Wondering is their ivory tucks worth all that. Soon their won't be an elephant left to kill. What will they kill next. Save the elephants.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Very sad. Wondering is their ivory tucks worth all that. Soon their won't be an elephant left to kill. What will they kill next. Save the elephants.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from MelB
You have drawn attention to a terrible problem out there, poachers. Every time I think of poachers, I think of the movie Gorillas in the Mist. Elephants are such unique animals. I hate that these kind of things happen. You have used all the requirements well in this piece. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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You have drawn attention to a terrible problem out there, poachers. Every time I think of poachers, I think of the movie Gorillas in the Mist. Elephants are such unique animals. I hate that these kind of things happen. You have used all the requirements well in this piece. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you, MelB, for your kind review. I am horrified at the methods poachers use and that wild elephants may become extinct in our lifetime. Thank you for the contest well wishes.
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You're most welcome:)
