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Let's Talk Dirty!

Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "Just A Thought"
The story about three women who need to make money

19 total reviews 
Comment from wordsfromsue
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She knew Jenny would understand, her own frustration at not being able to get her friendship sites off the ground being foremost in her mind. (should be Laura)

Good conversation and Laura presenting her ideas about Mrs Patel's behavior that Karen hadn't thought of.

I have a feeling Karen will figure out a way to win Mrs Patel over.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
    And again! A simple thing like using the wrong name can make you look so daft when you go to print. Phew! Alexis xxx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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Jealous of Karen! What a compliment to her new look. :)
There must be some way to get Mrs. P. to agree to booze at the hotel. It would make them all richer.

Jenny's announcement that she'd stopped working for the chat line had inspired them both in the same way as watching a fellow prisoner escape from jail. << LOL! Love this sentence. :)

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
    So do I, and you're the only other person to pick up on it. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
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G'day Alexis. Well that's a good thing that she will stick it out, even if it just pisses Mrs Patel off, at least that's my way of thinking! This is another great chapter mate. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
    She certainly will, especially after tomorrows post! Thank you, Fez, your reviews always cheer me up! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
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Oh well done! I really liked how you worked out some things in this chapter. The way Laura helped Karen. It was just like any two real girlfriends would interact.

Great work. Didn't see any fixes. :-D

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
    That's music to my ears because I always imagine talking to a real friend when I write these scenes, and try to imagine their reaction. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Sis Cat
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Descriptions and writing drew me into the story. I love best the conversation between Karen and Laura over a cup of coffee. You display tension and friendship between the two.

Are you testing this chapter for feedback or are you going to post chapters in sequence? Another question I have is do you write an outline for your whole book and know where your characters are going, or do you write as you go along? I am new to FanStory and am curious because I may want to post chapter of my own someday if I write a book. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    Hi Sis Cat, and welcome to the site. I usually have at least 70,000 words up my sleeve before I start posting on a daily basis, but I usually end up deleting at least 10,000, and adding 30,000 by the time I finish because of new ideas (often inspired by reviewers) or plot changes. This is chapter 63, and there is another 10/12 to be posted. I hope this helps! Alexis x
Comment from Curly Girly
Exceptional
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I didn't spot any spag issues. It was an interesting conversation the two women had. Now I want to see where it leads. Will Karen leave, be asked to leave, or stay? That is the question. I am looking forward to reading more to discover the answer!

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    There are a few twists and turns coming up in the home straight! Thank you so much for the six, Nicole. I know how precious they are! Alexis x
Comment from Spitfire
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Ah, I see you covered my question about Mr. Patel in this chapter. No doubt that Laura is right. I'd be jealous too if a newcomer took over so well in my absence.

Watch out for clichés: the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    Me too! To be honest, this is a chapter that wrote itself half an hour before I posted it. Until I got my head inside Laura's, when she was listening to Karen, I thought 'what if Mrs Patel is jealous?' so included that thought via Laura after that. A lot less complicated than the levels of strictness in a religion! Alexis x
Comment from madhatter1977
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Hi, Alexis. I might have missed a chapter but the camaraderie between the two women and the situation they're in is easy to understand and really well composed. It's a vulnerable side to Karen we're seeing here and her friend, Laura, is great in helping her come through it.

Best wishes and enjoy the weekend, Pete :)

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Pete. I love sitting down and creating the conversations for these three when they're together. In fact, I think I'll be starting a sequel pretty quickly after this one because I'll be missing them so much! Hope the sun is shining on you. It is here in Glasgow! Alexis x
Comment from adewpearl
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Great conversation as the friends discuss what went wrong with Mrs. Patel and why - I love that jealousy might be playing a bigger role than devout religious conviction - jealousy, at least, can be taken care of :-) Excellent dialogue that sounds just like one friend venting to another and the other friend acting as a sounding board and then supportive giver of suggestions :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    I'm glad you picked up on that, Pearl. Nobody else did. Religion is hard to include without causing offence to some people, so yes, jealousy is much easier to blame!
Comment from Cindy Warren
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Didn't Mrs. Patel have a problem before Karen arrived? Seems like she's on a bit of a high-horse to me. She wants everyone, including her husband, to know who's in charge. You couldn't run a hotel in any non-Muslim country without serving liquor. She must know that if she has any business sense at all. I think men are men, Muslim or not, and she's going to have a real reason to be jealous if she keeps it up.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
    Yes she's always been a bit snotty with the staff. I know of a few Muslims who drink alcohol, but I don't think it's as strict as it used to be. Fortunately the hotel only has 12 bedrooms, and the restaurant is only used for breakfasts, so it hasn't been an issue up till now. Just for a change, there is more to this than meets the eye! Alexis x