Let's Talk Dirty!
Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "Bad News"The story about three women who need to make money
16 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Awww, I thought Mrs Patel was supposed to be a b***h. Poor Karen, great memory for some things, sucky memory for others. Maybe she should entice Mr. Patel into a fling and bump off Mrs Patel, to take care of that problem!! No, that wouldn't work, her family owns the place....
Well, I enjoyed the chapter, even while I felt sad for Karen.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Awww, I thought Mrs Patel was supposed to be a b***h. Poor Karen, great memory for some things, sucky memory for others. Maybe she should entice Mr. Patel into a fling and bump off Mrs Patel, to take care of that problem!! No, that wouldn't work, her family owns the place....
Well, I enjoyed the chapter, even while I felt sad for Karen.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Your going to enjoy one of the chapters towards the end then, Sue. Mrs Patels a cow, so I enjoyed taking some of the wind out of her sales for being so snotty to Karen and Jenny!
Comment from madhatter1977
Another great chapter, Alexis, this time full of turmoil. I'm reading in reverse so Mrs Patel's treatment of Karen now makes sense to me. Mr Patel certainly has his hands tied as you say! Keep up the great writing and good luck for publishing/screenplay. Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Another great chapter, Alexis, this time full of turmoil. I'm reading in reverse so Mrs Patel's treatment of Karen now makes sense to me. Mr Patel certainly has his hands tied as you say! Keep up the great writing and good luck for publishing/screenplay. Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Pete. I just appreciate the time you've taken to read them. Glen Bear's away until the 28th, and Maureen's under the weather with cluster migraines, so I'm a couple of followers down! Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
FUCK! G'day Alexis. That was another great chapter but I'm shattered now because of the stupid woman. Poor Karen has tried so hard and now she's been sent back a step. Anyway, we'll get her through it. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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FUCK! G'day Alexis. That was another great chapter but I'm shattered now because of the stupid woman. Poor Karen has tried so hard and now she's been sent back a step. Anyway, we'll get her through it. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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I love you! That is so not Fan Story, it made me burst out laughing! Yes we will get her through it, one way or the other! Alexis xxx
Comment from Curly Girly
This was well-written, and I didn't spot any typos.
Oh, dear! Naughty Mr Patel. He should have known better than to break the family rules. Why return the money to the mobile bar? It should rather be shared among the workers as a bonus. I don't think Karen will really want to stay on working with them after this episode.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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This was well-written, and I didn't spot any typos.
Oh, dear! Naughty Mr Patel. He should have known better than to break the family rules. Why return the money to the mobile bar? It should rather be shared among the workers as a bonus. I don't think Karen will really want to stay on working with them after this episode.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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I couldn't agree more, but It's more humiliating for Mr Patel this way, and Mrs Patel is enjoying her moment! There are a few twists and turns until we get to the bottom of the whole thing. Alexis x
Comment from Spitfire
Not sure I understand why Mr. Patel couldn't predict. Wouldn't he be Muslim too? Skillful work of creative her cold character.
Poor Karen.
Back to the dirty talk.
One suggestion:
A huge feeling of disappointment engulfed her as Karen's eyes filled with tears- this seems redundant. Why not--
Disappointment engulfed her. Karen's eyes filled with tears
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Not sure I understand why Mr. Patel couldn't predict. Wouldn't he be Muslim too? Skillful work of creative her cold character.
Poor Karen.
Back to the dirty talk.
One suggestion:
A huge feeling of disappointment engulfed her as Karen's eyes filled with tears- this seems redundant. Why not--
Disappointment engulfed her. Karen's eyes filled with tears
Comment Written 21-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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As you now know, he is, but obviously not as strict as Mrs Patel and her family. The real reason for Mrs Patel's behaviour will be revealed soon! Alexis x
Comment from Cindy Warren
That woman sounds horrible. I don't know how you're going to move the story forward with her around. She's not realistic to think she's going to change. She's certainly put a damper on everything. I don't think her husband is very happy with her either, but of course he doesn't believe in divorce. Will you kill her off or give her some life changing wake-up call?
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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That woman sounds horrible. I don't know how you're going to move the story forward with her around. She's not realistic to think she's going to change. She's certainly put a damper on everything. I don't think her husband is very happy with her either, but of course he doesn't believe in divorce. Will you kill her off or give her some life changing wake-up call?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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The veritable bitch from hell. We need to either work some magic on her or, as one reviewer suggested, throw her down the stairs. I still haven't decided! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
Great chapter. Another twist to the saga. How will it all work out?? :-)
When she greeted Mr Patel with a dazzling smile, as she walked through the front door, he returned it with a nod of his head and a terse, 'Good morning.' It certainly wasn't the enthusiastic greeting Karen expected, so asked him if everything was okay. Mr Patel forced a smile, before he told her everything was fine, so she made her way through to the kitchen to start breakfast for the sixteen guests who were booked in.-There are some unnecessary words in this." Maybe try: She greeted Mr. Patel with a dazzling smile, as she walked through the front door. He returned it with a nod and a terse, 'Good-morning.' It certainly wasn't the enthusiastic greeting Karen expected(.) "Is everything okay?" She asked. (This takes it from telling to showing).
Mr.Patel forced a smile. "Everything's fine." He said. She made her way through to the kitchen to start breakfast for the sixteen guests who were booked in.
I am looking forward to seeing how this works out for poor Karen and her new knickers. LOL . :-D
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Great chapter. Another twist to the saga. How will it all work out?? :-)
When she greeted Mr Patel with a dazzling smile, as she walked through the front door, he returned it with a nod of his head and a terse, 'Good morning.' It certainly wasn't the enthusiastic greeting Karen expected, so asked him if everything was okay. Mr Patel forced a smile, before he told her everything was fine, so she made her way through to the kitchen to start breakfast for the sixteen guests who were booked in.-There are some unnecessary words in this." Maybe try: She greeted Mr. Patel with a dazzling smile, as she walked through the front door. He returned it with a nod and a terse, 'Good-morning.' It certainly wasn't the enthusiastic greeting Karen expected(.) "Is everything okay?" She asked. (This takes it from telling to showing).
Mr.Patel forced a smile. "Everything's fine." He said. She made her way through to the kitchen to start breakfast for the sixteen guests who were booked in.
I am looking forward to seeing how this works out for poor Karen and her new knickers. LOL . :-D
Comment Written 20-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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As always, you made me look at it differently. I've rejigged the chapter and I hope it reads better now Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
A Muslim from India is unusual. They are mostly Hindu and always fighting with Pakistan, which is nearly all Muslims. If I were you, I'd change her country to Iran or Pakistan or one of the largely Muslim nations.
The woman owns the place and her religion doesn't allow booze, so she has every right to disallow it. Poor Karen, tho. Surely there's another place her skills could be put to use. Has she looked around?
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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A Muslim from India is unusual. They are mostly Hindu and always fighting with Pakistan, which is nearly all Muslims. If I were you, I'd change her country to Iran or Pakistan or one of the largely Muslim nations.
The woman owns the place and her religion doesn't allow booze, so she has every right to disallow it. Poor Karen, tho. Surely there's another place her skills could be put to use. Has she looked around?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Cringe! She is from Pakistan, I just forgot! I hope today's chapter explains things better. Alexis x
Comment from adewpearl
How awful to go from the euporhia of success to the disappointment of Mr. Patel's wife's anger over the sale of alcohol on the premises - a terrible reversal of fortune, and you convey well why this seems like one of the worst days of her life. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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How awful to go from the euporhia of success to the disappointment of Mr. Patel's wife's anger over the sale of alcohol on the premises - a terrible reversal of fortune, and you convey well why this seems like one of the worst days of her life. Brooke
Comment Written 20-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Today's post hopefully gives Karen some hope back, although what she does with it, goodness knows! Alexis x
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, no! That stupid woman! That husband of hers isn't exactly a man, is he? He should stand up to her. Poor Karen, just when she thought everything was going to be all right. I suppose being Muslim, even taking the profit from the drink sales would seem to be the same as selling it. But, there are other compromises that can be made, I would have thought. But, I'm not of the religion, and another thing, aren't the women supposed to do what the husband says, not the other way round? Not that I condone that for one fraction on a second, but at this precise moment, I do! I just feel so sorry for Karen. Exceptionally well written chapter, Alexis, really got me going! :( Sandra. xsx
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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Oh, no! That stupid woman! That husband of hers isn't exactly a man, is he? He should stand up to her. Poor Karen, just when she thought everything was going to be all right. I suppose being Muslim, even taking the profit from the drink sales would seem to be the same as selling it. But, there are other compromises that can be made, I would have thought. But, I'm not of the religion, and another thing, aren't the women supposed to do what the husband says, not the other way round? Not that I condone that for one fraction on a second, but at this precise moment, I do! I just feel so sorry for Karen. Exceptionally well written chapter, Alexis, really got me going! :( Sandra. xsx
Comment Written 20-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2015
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As you now know, Mrs Patel's religion might not be the main issue. I've based her character on a Pakistani woman I once knew. Seriously scary! Alexis x
