What Are The Odds..?
The worst kept secrets... (180 words)7 total reviews
Comment from Judy Couch
You followed the prompt well. Your conclusion was a bit of a surprise. I was also surprised that they began sharing secrets so early in their relationship.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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You followed the prompt well. Your conclusion was a bit of a surprise. I was also surprised that they began sharing secrets so early in their relationship.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated
Comment from jclark
Your contest entry is well written and gave me a smile at the end. For being only 180 words, you created very specific visuals that enabled the reader to watch this play out like a short video. Well done! Good luck in the contest. Kindly, Judy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Your contest entry is well written and gave me a smile at the end. For being only 180 words, you created very specific visuals that enabled the reader to watch this play out like a short video. Well done! Good luck in the contest. Kindly, Judy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the great review.
Comment from jpduck
Very neat. I thoroughly enjoyed this short piece. Particularly, of course, the absurdity of the final sentence. Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Very neat. I thoroughly enjoyed this short piece. Particularly, of course, the absurdity of the final sentence. Good luck with the contest.
Adrian
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the fine review. All the best.
Comment from JillS
Funny and fun! You really do a great job of introducing the scene, the characters and making something happen in very few words. My only suggestion has to do with the attributions- fixing them so that the punctuation is consistently correct ("I used to be a man," Ashley announced . . .) and making them less noticeable by using "said" most of the time and letting things the characters do show their attitudes. Thanks for a fun read! I loved the ending. --Jill
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Funny and fun! You really do a great job of introducing the scene, the characters and making something happen in very few words. My only suggestion has to do with the attributions- fixing them so that the punctuation is consistently correct ("I used to be a man," Ashley announced . . .) and making them less noticeable by using "said" most of the time and letting things the characters do show their attitudes. Thanks for a fun read! I loved the ending. --Jill
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the thoughtful review. It is very much appreciated
Comment from Seagazer
Oh I loved it! No, I did not see it coming. I wish it had been longer. I cannot add any helpful suggestions. I loved the ending and I wish it had been longer. Keep writing. Be well.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Oh I loved it! No, I did not see it coming. I wish it had been longer. I cannot add any helpful suggestions. I loved the ending and I wish it had been longer. Keep writing. Be well.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. It is very much appreciated. I am glad it hit the spot.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What are the odds!! LOL, short and to the point, so well portrayed. Well done. This is an excellent contest entry, I suppose it doesn't matter that they were once two men in a bar??? LOL Good luck in the contest! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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What are the odds!! LOL, short and to the point, so well portrayed. Well done. This is an excellent contest entry, I suppose it doesn't matter that they were once two men in a bar??? LOL Good luck in the contest! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for this great review. I might write two men in a bar as a sequel... Much appreciated
Comment from donaldcolson
Very nice writing with a humorous premise, tho with such a short piece I am not confident of my judgement. At the beginning I was primed for a much longer story. don
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Very nice writing with a humorous premise, tho with such a short piece I am not confident of my judgement. At the beginning I was primed for a much longer story. don
Comment Written 04-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. Bizarrely I have had much shorter, random encounters than this in real life, though in different circumstances I hasten to add. LOL
Much appreciated
