Let's Talk Dirty!
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "A Problem Solved"The story about three women who need to make money
17 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Mr Petal was delighted when Jenny told him the good news. Personally, I think 'Mr Petal' sounds adorable! But Mrs Patel might not like it. :-)
Good chapter. The ladies are all spreading their wings a bit and rolling along with what life is dealing them. I like this bit of details regarding the hotel.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
  |
Mr Petal was delighted when Jenny told him the good news. Personally, I think 'Mr Petal' sounds adorable! But Mrs Patel might not like it. :-)
Good chapter. The ladies are all spreading their wings a bit and rolling along with what life is dealing them. I like this bit of details regarding the hotel.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2015
-
Yes, Mr Patel's a good guy. Sadly, his wife is a nightmare! Thank you so much for the six, Sue. It's amazing how quickly they bring a smile to your face! Alexis xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
Sounds like this guy needs to be told where to stuff his job. Let him do it himself for a while and maybe he'll appreciate his staff a bit more. But I sure wouldn't want to be a guest at his hotel on that day!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
 |
Sounds like this guy needs to be told where to stuff his job. Let him do it himself for a while and maybe he'll appreciate his staff a bit more. But I sure wouldn't want to be a guest at his hotel on that day!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
-
Hey, girl, you're on a roll! Your four reviews were a lovely surprise to wake up to. Thank you! Alexis x
-
As you are soon to find out, Mr Patel is not that bad, it's his wife who's going to screw everything up for Karen. Thank you again for catching up, I really appreciate it. Alexis x
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Alexis. sorry, I haven't read every chapter. It is difficult to keep up and still honor my other members. Know what I mean? This is so well written. You are as I said, a natural. Great dialogue throughout, like: "Jenny momentarily regretted whining about Mrs. Patel so much. 'Yes, his wife's a pain in the ass, but she won't be back for weeks.
Suggestions, if I may: "couldn't replace her at such short notice. (on short notice)
And: "for the sixteen guests who were booked in." (conserve words...drop the "in"
Great job, my friend. You should be leaving soon, eh? I think you said March. Blessings, bob
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
|
Hi, Alexis. sorry, I haven't read every chapter. It is difficult to keep up and still honor my other members. Know what I mean? This is so well written. You are as I said, a natural. Great dialogue throughout, like: "Jenny momentarily regretted whining about Mrs. Patel so much. 'Yes, his wife's a pain in the ass, but she won't be back for weeks.
Suggestions, if I may: "couldn't replace her at such short notice. (on short notice)
And: "for the sixteen guests who were booked in." (conserve words...drop the "in"
Great job, my friend. You should be leaving soon, eh? I think you said March. Blessings, bob
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
-
It's okay, Bob, I know you're very busy. I think your suggestions are great but my first draft must be true to the UK market, where the story is based, and we say a few things differently here. I'll let the editor sort out the American version! Looking forward to my trip, but I will have my laptop with me, so work can continue at an easier pace.
Alexis x
-
The word "in" is an extra word, no matter who's country it is from, I believe. Bob
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. This is another great chapter mate. It's funny how the two of them will both be working there after Jenny complained so much LOL. I hope she gets on Ok with hte cooking. Black pudding yuck! I prefer bardi grubs LOL. I'm looking forward to Laura's first date, that'll be interesting. Well done, no spag again. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
|
G'day Alexis. This is another great chapter mate. It's funny how the two of them will both be working there after Jenny complained so much LOL. I hope she gets on Ok with hte cooking. Black pudding yuck! I prefer bardi grubs LOL. I'm looking forward to Laura's first date, that'll be interesting. Well done, no spag again. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
-
I posted her first day at the hotel today - no problems, I'm glad to say, just the beginning of an idea! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
This was a fun "filler" chapter (as you put it). :-) I enjoyed it. You did a great job. I didn't see anything to correct or adjust.
Keep 'em coming girl.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
|
This was a fun "filler" chapter (as you put it). :-) I enjoyed it. You did a great job. I didn't see anything to correct or adjust.
Keep 'em coming girl.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2015
-
Thank you! Yes, these chapters are necessary to glue the whole thing together, as is the one I posted today, and tomorrows as well. Sunday sees Karen's reveal her weight loss to her soon to be ex, so I better get stuck in and finish that! Alexis x
Comment from MelB
It was so nice of Jenny to help Karen out with the job. Hopefully, it will help her with some extra income. It was nice that she asked about the pay too and got a little bit of a raise for Karen also.
I look forward to reading about Laura's first date in 35 years. That has to be a very awkward feeling.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
|
It was so nice of Jenny to help Karen out with the job. Hopefully, it will help her with some extra income. It was nice that she asked about the pay too and got a little bit of a raise for Karen also.
I look forward to reading about Laura's first date in 35 years. That has to be a very awkward feeling.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
-
Now posted! I hope you enjoy it. This actually happened to me when I joined a dating site, aged 57, so it was very easy to write!
Alexis x
Comment from Spitfire
Love the best line. Made me think of Karen's weight gain. The friendship among these three women is part of what makes for a nice read. I don't know how you figure out all the financial stuff.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
|
Love the best line. Made me think of Karen's weight gain. The friendship among these three women is part of what makes for a nice read. I don't know how you figure out all the financial stuff.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
-
It's easy for me because I've lived a lot of it. All of the characters are based on an amalgamation of mates of mine, so I know how any particular character would react under different circumstances - most of the time! Alexis x
Comment from madhatter1977
Hi, Alexis, I hope you had a good weekend. More potential plot twists with the new job for Karen! I noticed a very small glitch - I think it would read better as:
He'd never cooked anything in the hotel kitchen, and he'd never serviced a bedroom either, so it was a huge relief to know he wasn't going to be forced to do (it/so) himself. Words in parentheses are my inclusions.
You have a very easy to follow style of writing and I'm enjoying the story. It's great! Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
|
Hi, Alexis, I hope you had a good weekend. More potential plot twists with the new job for Karen! I noticed a very small glitch - I think it would read better as:
He'd never cooked anything in the hotel kitchen, and he'd never serviced a bedroom either, so it was a huge relief to know he wasn't going to be forced to do (it/so) himself. Words in parentheses are my inclusions.
You have a very easy to follow style of writing and I'm enjoying the story. It's great! Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
-
Great advice, which I've used. Thank you so much for following the story - I really appreciate it. Alexis x
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
My eyes keep being drawn to the notes as I type. First date in 35 years! Sounds like fun. This was a good chapter, too, with Karen getting the job/s. Hey, it's an income. If someone doesn't like it, let them hire you for a better job! At least cooking is respectable. :)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
|
My eyes keep being drawn to the notes as I type. First date in 35 years! Sounds like fun. This was a good chapter, too, with Karen getting the job/s. Hey, it's an income. If someone doesn't like it, let them hire you for a better job! At least cooking is respectable. :)
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
-
I hope you enjoy today's post. It's long but I'll be promoting it better because of that. It's based on my own experience three years ago when I joined a dating site two and a half years after I was widowed at the age of 55. It was enough to put someone off dating sites for life!
Alexis x
Comment from Cat of Letters
You are tired and it is showing.
Take a break for a couple of days!!!! You will come back stronger for it.
_____
OK Alexis this first para is not smooth. It needs a rework.
who covered the the two shifts, which Laura did not do, had walked out. She told him to stuff his job. He had refused to let Kirsty have two days off. . . (period drop the beacuse.) He couldn't replace her. . .
On occasions such as this, Mr Patel usually got his wife,. . . She (cull the but) was visiting
Period cull the so. He asked Jenny
at least one of jenny's shifts, (comma)
suggest you use a ; after their free time together
to add (not adding)
or could (not can) you raise it to ten?
In the belief (not believing) that he had no choice, Mr P agreed. Jenny was pleased he did
(the that is switched in place)
because this MADE/GAVE/PRESENTED (not was) the perfect opportunity for K to get a 'proper' job and not if . . .
working legitimately is a better word order.
They
K's kids assumed she was job searching. (period) (cut the because) No more money would come in now; (semi-c) Mark had made his final payment. What Mr P had to offer could be the perfect solution, and K knew what the hotel job entailed. She had listened to . . . (Cut for that reason)
His wife is an ogress
she won't be back for weeks (cut few)
the perfect cover for you (comma)
at the drop of a hat (between two commas)
once not when you have put it on the market.
very helpful (cull the very)
I am sure you could make better breakfasts for the guests than I do. You're bounds to get loads.
though about it for a few seconds (comma or period no before. She agreed to give it a shot.
Ok Alexis I am getting tired and can't keep line editing.
You have a run on sentence next up. If she could not stop the house being sold etc
This whole thing needs an edit, which I have 3/4 done.
Really YOU need a rest for a couple of days. You are getting too close to it. This is in rough draft quality this chapter.
Cheers, Alison
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
 |
You are tired and it is showing.
Take a break for a couple of days!!!! You will come back stronger for it.
_____
OK Alexis this first para is not smooth. It needs a rework.
who covered the the two shifts, which Laura did not do, had walked out. She told him to stuff his job. He had refused to let Kirsty have two days off. . . (period drop the beacuse.) He couldn't replace her. . .
On occasions such as this, Mr Patel usually got his wife,. . . She (cull the but) was visiting
Period cull the so. He asked Jenny
at least one of jenny's shifts, (comma)
suggest you use a ; after their free time together
to add (not adding)
or could (not can) you raise it to ten?
In the belief (not believing) that he had no choice, Mr P agreed. Jenny was pleased he did
(the that is switched in place)
because this MADE/GAVE/PRESENTED (not was) the perfect opportunity for K to get a 'proper' job and not if . . .
working legitimately is a better word order.
They
K's kids assumed she was job searching. (period) (cut the because) No more money would come in now; (semi-c) Mark had made his final payment. What Mr P had to offer could be the perfect solution, and K knew what the hotel job entailed. She had listened to . . . (Cut for that reason)
His wife is an ogress
she won't be back for weeks (cut few)
the perfect cover for you (comma)
at the drop of a hat (between two commas)
once not when you have put it on the market.
very helpful (cull the very)
I am sure you could make better breakfasts for the guests than I do. You're bounds to get loads.
though about it for a few seconds (comma or period no before. She agreed to give it a shot.
Ok Alexis I am getting tired and can't keep line editing.
You have a run on sentence next up. If she could not stop the house being sold etc
This whole thing needs an edit, which I have 3/4 done.
Really YOU need a rest for a couple of days. You are getting too close to it. This is in rough draft quality this chapter.
Cheers, Alison
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2015
-
As usual, you have managed to pick up on all the stuff I've raced through - Thank you! Your diligence as a reviewer is exemplary, and the way it used to be here before we all drew our horns in because we were worried we might cause offence. I think I've managed to catch everything you pointed out - fingers crossed!
Alexis x
