Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Prologue "Chapter Doce; part Cuatro"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
51 total reviews
Comment from Serendipity!
This is really good. It is easy to walk into the story (shack) and feel like I am really there. There is enough suspense to make one wonder what is going to happen next. Even that 'barefoot and pregnant' sounds so authentic and gives a realistic picture, including a background to go with. I would have to study it a long time to find something to get picky over.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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This is really good. It is easy to walk into the story (shack) and feel like I am really there. There is enough suspense to make one wonder what is going to happen next. Even that 'barefoot and pregnant' sounds so authentic and gives a realistic picture, including a background to go with. I would have to study it a long time to find something to get picky over.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Thank you for leaving this kind review. I am happy you're reading back, but sorry you aren't getting rewarded for it.
Comment from Donovan
"She released a deep breath and tossed it to the side. "You ask questions all the time. Yet, you refuse to answer any. That's just wrong." Seems I have heard that line before....of course I think Adam heard it from Eve. Your story is intriguing and it is easy to become involved with the characters. I copied your idea of making up chapter titles that are never going to have a title. Different language, but great idea.
"if that's even your real name." Women are so persnickety!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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"She released a deep breath and tossed it to the side. "You ask questions all the time. Yet, you refuse to answer any. That's just wrong." Seems I have heard that line before....of course I think Adam heard it from Eve. Your story is intriguing and it is easy to become involved with the characters. I copied your idea of making up chapter titles that are never going to have a title. Different language, but great idea.
"if that's even your real name." Women are so persnickety!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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LOL I am smiling and laughing at your review. Thank you.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Excellent dialogue which moves the story along well.
I think that it might help to round out the characters by letting the reader see a little more into their 'soul.' I would like to 'feel' their fear, understand what they are thinking: Their fears, anxieties, expectations and their thinking behind some of their statements.
On the whole, I like to come across your stories, knowing that I am in for a treat.
Juliette
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Excellent dialogue which moves the story along well.
I think that it might help to round out the characters by letting the reader see a little more into their 'soul.' I would like to 'feel' their fear, understand what they are thinking: Their fears, anxieties, expectations and their thinking behind some of their statements.
On the whole, I like to come across your stories, knowing that I am in for a treat.
Juliette
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I have discussed feeling often. This is only about 500 words of a much longer chapter. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Barbara, I have just come across this chapter, which I thought was the first prologue, but according to the beginning there was a chapter before, I will carry on though to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Hi Barbara, I have just come across this chapter, which I thought was the first prologue, but according to the beginning there was a chapter before, I will carry on though to the next chapter.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Oh my! I am smiling I am sure you are totally confused.
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LOL I am my friend!
Comment from PrincessinPurple
This chapter is good. I can see the scene in my mind. I think it nice for the characthers to get to know each other better. Keep writing this great story!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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This chapter is good. I can see the scene in my mind. I think it nice for the characthers to get to know each other better. Keep writing this great story!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tellis
Whew I thought for sure they were about to be attacked. I think she is right and he should answer some of her questions though. I enjoyed reading this excellent chapter and found no spags.
Tellis
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Whew I thought for sure they were about to be attacked. I think she is right and he should answer some of her questions though. I enjoyed reading this excellent chapter and found no spags.
Tellis
Comment Written 19-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I agree it's time for Jim to come clean. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rmj09
The focus making sure they're safe for the night. The storyline development while getting the food out of her saddle bags the door burst open. It is found the wind blew the door open. They ate and once again Jim asks questions but doesn't answer any questions.
The dialogue is clear and paints a picture of the conditions they are under. The narrative shows action the door flying open, the animals upset.
The hook will the two learn to trust each other?
Keep on writing.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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The focus making sure they're safe for the night. The storyline development while getting the food out of her saddle bags the door burst open. It is found the wind blew the door open. They ate and once again Jim asks questions but doesn't answer any questions.
The dialogue is clear and paints a picture of the conditions they are under. The narrative shows action the door flying open, the animals upset.
The hook will the two learn to trust each other?
Keep on writing.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I am wondering about trust issues myself. I sure hope they work things out. This is supposed to be romance. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Edward A. Hara
I give this a four star just based on the writing style, which is good overall. One thing I look for is overuse of adverbs. Steven King, in his book, ON WRITING, says that they are the kiss of death. I don't see a lot of them in this section. You are right, it is a tad confusing to try to figure things out with no back story, but the overall style of writing is good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I give this a four star just based on the writing style, which is good overall. One thing I look for is overuse of adverbs. Steven King, in his book, ON WRITING, says that they are the kiss of death. I don't see a lot of them in this section. You are right, it is a tad confusing to try to figure things out with no back story, but the overall style of writing is good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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I rarely use adverbs so your comment confuses me. Maybe I got careless. I will check it out. I am not a fan of Steven King.
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Sorry. Didn't mean to confuse you. I think I did say that your writing is free of them, which makes it good.
Comment from Jacob Collins
There was a good use of both dialogue and description in this piece, Barbara which I thought was written well. You had me hooked from the tension you created in your first paragraph when Sonia and Jim thought that there was someone outside. I couldn't find any faults, an excellent job...Jacob
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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There was a good use of both dialogue and description in this piece, Barbara which I thought was written well. You had me hooked from the tension you created in your first paragraph when Sonia and Jim thought that there was someone outside. I couldn't find any faults, an excellent job...Jacob
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from GWinterwin
Good chapter in your story, Soni, and Jim having a cold night after getting wet from the rain. Horse rustlers, wolf, and other things out there in the dark makes for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Good chapter in your story, Soni, and Jim having a cold night after getting wet from the rain. Horse rustlers, wolf, and other things out there in the dark makes for an interesting read.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
