Reviews from

Watch Your Mouth

One sided phone conversation

19 total reviews 
Comment from K. Lorraine
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And I know a thing or two about the people think. (is there a missing word here?) I agree about your comment regarding 'Fifty Shades of Grey,' but wasn't that the character's last name? The conversation was interesting regardless that I didn't agree with everything said. But then that's what makes a story great. The differences, just like the differences in people. Nice work. Thanks for sharing your talents. Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    I think it was his name, lol, thank you for stopping by.
Comment from kiwijenny
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Ha ha ha ha..I chuckled at the last line..darn it
Well penned frustration
I love the fifty shades of black and blue ...great line
Well done
God bless

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    Thank you, so glad you laughed.
Comment from dmt1967
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This is funny and I liked the holier than thou' attitude lol. The woman is always right, even if she's wrong, has won me many an argument lol. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    Thank you
Comment from jpduck
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A most inventive one-sided phone conversation, I thought. A lot more interesting than most of the entries I have seen for this contest.

Some typos and SPAGs:

'And I know a thing or two about the *way*(?) people think'

'I wouldn't permit myself to use such filth and foul *language.*(?)'

'instead of always watching movies*?*

'as patient as a pastor collecti*ng* church donations'

'and what ever other thing*-*a*-*ma*-*jiggy'

'Back in my day*,* vows in front of the Lord'


Good luck with the contest.

Adrian

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    Thank you , bless you for taking the time out.
Comment from humpwhistle
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Sorry about the four. There is some funny stuff here. But your piece is rife with SPAG. Quotation marks are unnecessary--but you have a few showing up in the middle of lengthy rants. Also, a few question marks are missing.
I suggest you re-edit this before voting begins.

Peace, Lee

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 Comment Written 13-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    Thank you, and i will see to the corrections.
Comment from mbagby23
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Very interesting phone talk. Makes me wonder he's sayingon the other side. The hype is out about that movie. I never even read the book. I know people who ready have the movie tickets.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    Yes well, i cant believe it got all that noteriory. thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Dawny53
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You have a great sense of humor.. and I love your one sided conversation! I laughed just about all the way through it! Good luck to you in the contest!

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2015
    I never know how my humor will be received, so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from MusingsOfMWH
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The one-sided conversation was entertaining and had me smiling quite a bit, especially when I got to the end, where your narrator says "I'll have you know I'm a decent Christian woman who only read the first book." I only have a vague idea regarding the reputation of "Fifty Shades of Grey" but even fuddy-duddy me knows it got, well, intense.

I only found two minor problems:

"..if I told you one I told you fifty times..">>should be>>"..told you once.."
eachother>>should be>>each other

Other than those two things, your story was a hoot! Well done!

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
    I never know how my humor will be received, i never read the books, and am so damn mad I have been writing for 10yrs and having thought of writing about that! I will fix the errors and bless u

Comment from emrpoems
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things to[ eachother] and call it love." each other
This one sided conversation appeared to be very real and natural
Great choice of topic
So well composed that you actually hear the responses on the other side

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2015
    I will see to the changes and am so glad u enjoyed it, bless you