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Let's Talk Dirty!

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Sunday Night"
The story about three women who need to make money

14 total reviews 
Comment from wordsfromsue
Excellent
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The sex starved female predator was a fun touch... I think I live in a different universe.... can't imagine doing that with someone I'd just met!

I feel things building up, the chapter where they get their chat lines promises to be interesting! I wonder what Jack would think at this minute, if he knew? He might offer to help her practice!!!!! Just a thought. :-)

 Comment Written 19-May-2015


reply by the author on 20-May-2015
    Your a star, Sue. I thought you would be exhausted after all your reviewing at the weekend! Eh, no, to the idea of Jack helping Laura to practice. He's much too straight laced to do anything like that! Alexis xxx
Comment from G.B. Smith
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Alexis. This is a wonderful piece of writing from start to finish. You have suspense, humor and sexiness about it that keeps the reader going.
Thar's swell dialogue and imagery, too.
I like this bit A LOT: "He cocked his head to one side and shrugged his shoulders. 'Yes, a little, but it's not all about the hunting. It was just great to get out in the fresh air after being stuck in the office for most of the week... Anyway, what about you? Did you have any luck finding a good domain name for your friendship site?'" Laura was just about to say that would be fine, when she remembered that Friday was when they were hopefully logging on to at least one of their chosen chat lines for the first time.

'Eh...I won't be here, I'm afraid,' she told him. 'Jenny's asked me over. How about Saturday?'

Jack looked delighted, and told Laura he would look forward to talking to her then...
painting the line pretty thin it seems


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2015
    Lol, yes, Laura is juggling a few 'balls' in the air in her attempt to stop both her son, Michael, and her friend, Jack, from finding out what she's really doing. Thank you so much for yet another Six, Bear. I can tell you're enjoying it! Alexis xxx
Comment from Cat of Letters
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I enjoy this as much as your other chapter . . . But watch your Brit expressions if this guy she is Skying with is an American.

If this guy is from the States, and not a Brit living there, he would not have a kip in his tent, or have the first clue what a kip is. That is an expression that baffles North Americans. They think a kip is something to do with a kipper, and a kipper in itself is a stretch for them by that name.

I am trying to think what he might say instead. He might 'Go to his tent to grab some zeds' ( as in zzzz). Or to get some shut eye.

Going for a slash, struck me too, as something I have not heard said. A piss, a whizz. Going to the can.

All very good but be aware of these minor points of dialect.

Best wishes, again, Alison

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2015
    Thank you so much for your excellent advice. I actually sent this to an American Pal who I was speaking to on Skype, but they probably didn't think to point that out. I shall sort it out immediately. Thank you!
Comment from Spitfire
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Laura has a lot to lose by lying to a man she's falling for.
Wonder how he'll feel if he founds out her new profession. It's not a sport that gets you outside in the fresh air. Good job of upping the stakes here.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
    It certainly isn't! In fact, one woman whose book I'm reading at the moment, rarely goes out in the evening because it could cost her two or three hundred pounds in earnings if she does. She even sends her husband, yes, I did say husband, out to do the shopping for the same reason! Alexis x
Comment from Curly Girly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a fun chapter to read. That's why I don't like Skype, the camera makes you look horrid, and people see too much. This was an amusing chapter.
I'd be worried about a man who hasn't had sex for 5 years. Do you think it still works? I've heard that if you don't use it, you lose it. Pudding on a plate, and he pushed it away. It sounds as if he has self-control, but ... mmm ...
Suggestions:
Laura took a gulp of her wine while she digested what he had just said.
Laura took a gulp of wine while she digested his words.

about six feet from where I was sitting, without even noticing me.'
about six feet from where I sat, without noticing me.'

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
    Bless you for not only another really helpful review, but the fantastic sixer! Alexis xxx
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
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albiet
albeit

'Its fine - It's fine



So Laura has led Jack to believe she's researching a friendship site!

He seems a very nice chap.

I had to laugh about her hair...
a like that you slip in a little humour along the way, Alexis.

Margaret

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
    Yes, he misunderstood her when she told a half truth regarding researching the subject of people who find themselves alone and assumes she's thinking of starting a friendship site similar to the bereavement site they met on two years before. Now Laura's bought a domain name, she hopes Jack will forget about it, but no such luck! Alexis x
Comment from adewpearl
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her best friend and confident - confidant
excellent dialogue with Jack and good inclusion of her inner thoughts too as she reacts to what he has to tell her
Brooke

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
    I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your review and catching my mistake. Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
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G'day Alexis. I got a real kick out of the wine stain and hair issue she was having, that was funny and Jack ust ignored it, what a gentleman. I have to chat with Delia (my Princess) via Skype when I am in Australia and she always makes sure she looks great, but I think she looks great even when she first wakes up LOL. Tis is getting exciting now, can't wait for the next one. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2015
    And I can't wait for you to read it! Thank you, my friend. Your reviews always bring a smile to my face. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
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Aaaaaaa, Downton Abby! Yes! I LOVE that show! Just got through watching it tonight. Imagine my JOY when you posted that in your story! HEE HEE :-D

LOVE the way you described her looking with the wine ring and hair. SOO Funny!!!

Excellent chapter. Really had fun reading it. I especially love the comedy of her hair and lipstick and how she tried to fix it. You write that kind of thing VERY well.
Looking forward to reading more!!!

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
    I couldn't believe it when a pal from the States said she was watching 'Eastenders' (my favourite soap) the other night. It looks like 'The Pond' is getting smaller and smaller! I hope you enjoy the next two chapters as much. These ones were hard to write because I know that sort of thing will go against some people's religious ethics. Just glad it's over! Alexis xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
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Oh Yes, You will see me! I think Jack will be instrumental in sending them on a completely different path. Just the fact they feel guilty and ashamed of what they are about to do should tell them they shouldn't go there. LOL I can't wait to see how this plays out.! :<) Nancy

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
    I'm glad to say the most controversial chapter is posted and we can now get back to having some fun! As I said before, it's really hard to write a story like this without touching on the subject but hey ho, that's what writing is often about. Thank you for sticking with it! Alexis x
reply by nancy_e_davis on 02-Feb-2015
    You are one of my favorites!