haiku(loaded down with snow)
a branch in late winter36 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
The branch bows because it must.
Absolute truth in these cleverly chosen words my friend. Then of course the sun will bring them back to their proper stance. What a wonderfully crafted piece you have delivered for this haiku poetry contest.
God bless and good luck.
Steve
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The branch bows because it must.
Absolute truth in these cleverly chosen words my friend. Then of course the sun will bring them back to their proper stance. What a wonderfully crafted piece you have delivered for this haiku poetry contest.
God bless and good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Mark Schardine
You give a vivid image of a snow-laden tree branch. Yes, it must bend down, but interestingly enough, with the sunlight often comes even colder weather, and the branch can still break.
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You give a vivid image of a snow-laden tree branch. Yes, it must bend down, but interestingly enough, with the sunlight often comes even colder weather, and the branch can still break.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Debbie Noland
I like the sense of reverence you imply here when the branch "bows." Good alliteration there and also in the last line with stands/sun. The contrast in the verbs bows/stands suggests and upward movement that could be read to reflect oppression/despair followed by new strength/hope, as in what can happen as a result of, perhaps, prayer.
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I like the sense of reverence you imply here when the branch "bows." Good alliteration there and also in the last line with stands/sun. The contrast in the verbs bows/stands suggests and upward movement that could be read to reflect oppression/despair followed by new strength/hope, as in what can happen as a result of, perhaps, prayer.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from sunnilicious
I enjoyed reading you poem. Good perspective presented... that must have taken some reflection. Good visual imagery created. Good B-words alliterated. Also, you met the syllable count. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
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I enjoyed reading you poem. Good perspective presented... that must have taken some reflection. Good visual imagery created. Good B-words alliterated. Also, you met the syllable count. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from c_lucas
Water converted to snow weighs down the tree branches. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
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Water converted to snow weighs down the tree branches. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Cookie333
You have created multiple images for this reader...and in so very few syllables/words. I respond as the snow melts of our branches in the sun.
thank you for sharing and best of luck
karen
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You have created multiple images for this reader...and in so very few syllables/words. I respond as the snow melts of our branches in the sun.
thank you for sharing and best of luck
karen
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from alexisleech
Another great Haiku, which tells it's own story. I'm never sure what to write in a review for a poem that has less words than I must write--but well done!
Alexis x
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Another great Haiku, which tells it's own story. I'm never sure what to write in a review for a poem that has less words than I must write--but well done!
Alexis x
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Sis Cat
I like this! It is really elegant. I read it twice to let it sink in. I love your triple alliteration "branch bows because" and "snow, stands, sun." A very visual haiku that makes me feel the sun melt the snow on the branch. Thank you for sharing!
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I like this! It is really elegant. I read it twice to let it sink in. I love your triple alliteration "branch bows because" and "snow, stands, sun." A very visual haiku that makes me feel the sun melt the snow on the branch. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Travis64
A very descriptive write that leaves a great image in the mind of winter and all of its many wonders! I like the way you describe the branch bowing down because of the weight of the snow and then touched by sun it stands again in all its glory; what a great contrast and comparison!
~Travis64
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A very descriptive write that leaves a great image in the mind of winter and all of its many wonders! I like the way you describe the branch bowing down because of the weight of the snow and then touched by sun it stands again in all its glory; what a great contrast and comparison!
~Travis64
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
Comment from Dean Kuch
A beautifully composed and well conceived haiku, Lois. We all become bent sometimes, doubled over by burdens and pressures weighing us down. But when we come through it on the other, we are stronger and much better for having gone through it.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest. :) --Dean
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A beautifully composed and well conceived haiku, Lois. We all become bent sometimes, doubled over by burdens and pressures weighing us down. But when we come through it on the other, we are stronger and much better for having gone through it.
Well done, and best of luck to you in the contest. :) --Dean
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
