haiku(loaded down with snow)
a branch in late winter36 total reviews
Comment from Shadowfaxw
You've done well with this format!
I like how the haiku shows a life progressing through time, not a mere happenstance of what is occurring in the present.
Good work!
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You've done well with this format!
I like how the haiku shows a life progressing through time, not a mere happenstance of what is occurring in the present.
Good work!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2015
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Loanna,
It's interesting how a few carefully chosen words paired with just as carefully chosen artwork/photo can speak volumes.
This is really good. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
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Hi, Loanna,
It's interesting how a few carefully chosen words paired with just as carefully chosen artwork/photo can speak volumes.
This is really good. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from kriver
Hi The poem has good imagery.
It has a good word count. This is a good write.
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Hi The poem has good imagery.
It has a good word count. This is a good write.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from LIJ Red
I am always at a loss, because I can't tell a true technically quality Haiku from seventeen coherent syllables laid out 5/7/5 or close. So if it waddles like a haiku and quacks like a haiku and swims like a haiku-excellent.
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I am always at a loss, because I can't tell a true technically quality Haiku from seventeen coherent syllables laid out 5/7/5 or close. So if it waddles like a haiku and quacks like a haiku and swims like a haiku-excellent.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Sarah Butterfly
I like the image of a branch taking a bow. Nice alliteration of the b sound used as well in branch bows. In your title I think you missed a space after haiku. For the rest, well done!
Kind regards
Sarah
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I like the image of a branch taking a bow. Nice alliteration of the b sound used as well in branch bows. In your title I think you missed a space after haiku. For the rest, well done!
Kind regards
Sarah
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Rubylou
Great haiku. I like the way you presented that the branch bends. Even under the weight of its burden, it does not break and recovers in the sun.
Nice metaphor.
Rubylou
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Great haiku. I like the way you presented that the branch bends. Even under the weight of its burden, it does not break and recovers in the sun.
Nice metaphor.
Rubylou
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from tfawcus
Like the pine tree, we too sometimes get snowed under and our heads become bowed. What a relief when the burden is taken away and we can spring back to our former selves and enjoy the sun again. Your haiku parallels this human condition exactly.
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Like the pine tree, we too sometimes get snowed under and our heads become bowed. What a relief when the burden is taken away and we can spring back to our former selves and enjoy the sun again. Your haiku parallels this human condition exactly.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Loanna. This is a great little piece that tells a whole story in three short lines, well done. It is a very worthy contest entry and I wish you good luck in it. Cheers Fez
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G'day Loanna. This is a great little piece that tells a whole story in three short lines, well done. It is a very worthy contest entry and I wish you good luck in it. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Bryana
Very well written Haiku my friend.
Perfect word count and, of course,
the content. The poor branches bend
with the weight of the snow, but when
the sun comes they stand up.
Good luck in the contest.
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Very well written Haiku my friend.
Perfect word count and, of course,
the content. The poor branches bend
with the weight of the snow, but when
the sun comes they stand up.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
Comment from Zue65
I enjoyed the contrast of the branch bowing during winter and the branch standing up when summer comes. The art work complements well the message of the poem. Thanks for sharing and God bless.
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I enjoyed the contrast of the branch bowing during winter and the branch standing up when summer comes. The art work complements well the message of the poem. Thanks for sharing and God bless.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
