The secret to a Happy Marriage
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The Interview"How is it done?
12 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
Wonderfully written and very entertaining. Almost like something out of mythology. I didn't notice anything in the way of SPAG, I don't think there is any. Can't improve on something this good I don't think. mikey
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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Wonderfully written and very entertaining. Almost like something out of mythology. I didn't notice anything in the way of SPAG, I don't think there is any. Can't improve on something this good I don't think. mikey
Comment Written 27-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. I like that, The mythology of a Player.
Comment from pbroussard209
This is a good explanation of Robby, I like that it was a cop who took the time to explain the rules, and to make him understand what was happening to him.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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This is a good explanation of Robby, I like that it was a cop who took the time to explain the rules, and to make him understand what was happening to him.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. I liked the idea of the old teaching the young.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well done and very clever. So now I see why Robby is a sex addict, because that's what he is. It sounds cute here but in reality it's not. He needs treatment like any addict. I knew a sex addict once... he insisted he wasn't, but there was no doubt in my mind. I looked it up online, and he had all the symptoms. I found a different masseur.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Well done and very clever. So now I see why Robby is a sex addict, because that's what he is. It sounds cute here but in reality it's not. He needs treatment like any addict. I knew a sex addict once... he insisted he wasn't, but there was no doubt in my mind. I looked it up online, and he had all the symptoms. I found a different masseur.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. He may be an addict.
Comment from judiverse
Curious how you would intend to present this. Sometimes flashbacks are used, but how are you going to introduce it? Robby's discussion with the policeman is revealing. The encounter with the young woman in the shower sounds more like wishful thinking than reality. It might work well as a fantasy on his part. Anyhow, that illusion as more or less taken him over, and he was made to feel consumed by that beast in him. At 12, he believed he was a pervert. That's quite a legacy. This really shows insight into Robby. judi
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Curious how you would intend to present this. Sometimes flashbacks are used, but how are you going to introduce it? Robby's discussion with the policeman is revealing. The encounter with the young woman in the shower sounds more like wishful thinking than reality. It might work well as a fantasy on his part. Anyhow, that illusion as more or less taken him over, and he was made to feel consumed by that beast in him. At 12, he believed he was a pervert. That's quite a legacy. This really shows insight into Robby. judi
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you. I would show it before the second act begins. I want to give a little back story on all the character eventually.
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You're welcome. We need to know if it'll be done as a flashback, triggered by a dream or something. judi
Comment from Jay Squires
I love the serpentine movement of your plot, Lance. And you were right--it adds a needed depth to Robbie's otherwise crass superficiality (okay, this is a 75 year-old man speaking) to show the backstory.
The cop was just real enough to give credibility to the "rules" he offered. At first I thought Robby was proving himself a young sociopath and able to gain the officer's sympathy. But by creating a character, in Robby, whose destiny was seemingly set to become a "player" by the "almost" supernatural placement of one like Sylvia followed by one like the Officer, you bring it to a higher level.
You might make a case for divine (some might say demonic) intervention. But it all makes for fascinating reading.
Wish you'd have posted this tomorrow so I wouldn't be suffering the embarrassment of being caught with my sixes down.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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I love the serpentine movement of your plot, Lance. And you were right--it adds a needed depth to Robbie's otherwise crass superficiality (okay, this is a 75 year-old man speaking) to show the backstory.
The cop was just real enough to give credibility to the "rules" he offered. At first I thought Robby was proving himself a young sociopath and able to gain the officer's sympathy. But by creating a character, in Robby, whose destiny was seemingly set to become a "player" by the "almost" supernatural placement of one like Sylvia followed by one like the Officer, you bring it to a higher level.
You might make a case for divine (some might say demonic) intervention. But it all makes for fascinating reading.
Wish you'd have posted this tomorrow so I wouldn't be suffering the embarrassment of being caught with my sixes down.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. The stars don't matter anymore. I am pleased with the readings and well thought out reviews.
Comment from dmt1967
' It pounded like() drum. It was so loud' Insert (a)
'Then she leaned down and kissed me on() nose.' Insert (the)
'Write these down, and never share them() any woman;' Insert (with).
The missing words are alright if he was a northerner, but your character's can't speak proper English and in the middle change accents. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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' It pounded like() drum. It was so loud' Insert (a)
'Then she leaned down and kissed me on() nose.' Insert (the)
'Write these down, and never share them() any woman;' Insert (with).
The missing words are alright if he was a northerner, but your character's can't speak proper English and in the middle change accents. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you again. You are seeing things my tired eyes should have caught.
Comment from Muffins
This side bar painfully shows the confusion & self doubt oncoming sexuality has on a young man. Robbie's feeling pulled at you with its intensity.
I'm not totally on track with some of the cop's answers especially the line at the end," you're going to hell." Why would he say something do awful after giving Robbie fatherly advice a few minutes ago? In contrast to the fabulous previous chapter, maybe this information could have been condensed into another chapter. A brief mention. Although Robbie's 'a words clicked off something in his sister 's mind, he's not enough of a main character to have a section devout to him. I could be wrong because I don't know what's in store, so maybe I'm 100% wrong. I guess I'll see !
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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This side bar painfully shows the confusion & self doubt oncoming sexuality has on a young man. Robbie's feeling pulled at you with its intensity.
I'm not totally on track with some of the cop's answers especially the line at the end," you're going to hell." Why would he say something do awful after giving Robbie fatherly advice a few minutes ago? In contrast to the fabulous previous chapter, maybe this information could have been condensed into another chapter. A brief mention. Although Robbie's 'a words clicked off something in his sister 's mind, he's not enough of a main character to have a section devout to him. I could be wrong because I don't know what's in store, so maybe I'm 100% wrong. I guess I'll see !
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you. The hell thing means less to some people than it does others. Robby is a full member of the gang. The three male character represent three stages of one guy. Think of Robby as the high setting on a fan. James is medium, and Ted is low.
Comment from adewpearl
everyday - every day
great dialogue
I love the way the homecoming queen reacts to the peeping of the twelve year old and the effect her words have on him
great reaction to the story by the empathetic cop
I'm still smiling :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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everyday - every day
great dialogue
I love the way the homecoming queen reacts to the peeping of the twelve year old and the effect her words have on him
great reaction to the story by the empathetic cop
I'm still smiling :-) Brooke
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much
Comment from Eigle Rull
I checked out your profile and I love your "FAVORITE QUOTE."
My friend, I give you a five and you can accept it as a six. I don't have any sixes left or you'd definitely get it. This chapter is so full of reality and the problems of growing up sexually. I enjoyed every word of it. It was easy to read and understand and it held my attention all the way. It was exciting and perfect. I loved it.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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I checked out your profile and I love your "FAVORITE QUOTE."
My friend, I give you a five and you can accept it as a six. I don't have any sixes left or you'd definitely get it. This chapter is so full of reality and the problems of growing up sexually. I enjoyed every word of it. It was easy to read and understand and it held my attention all the way. It was exciting and perfect. I loved it.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. Accepted in full.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. This is a really good chapter and I enjoyed it, the ending was certainly different from what I expected. But I'll have to go and read the earlier chapters to catch up. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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G'day mate. This is a really good chapter and I enjoyed it, the ending was certainly different from what I expected. But I'll have to go and read the earlier chapters to catch up. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015
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Thank you. I hope you like them all.
