Grathborne's Wrath Escaped
Quatrains abab16 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
The cruel Duke took his love away and locked him in a tower to rot away.
When faced with his love again, his need for revenge was strong.
He searched his heart and found the truth she spoke,
for what he felt was sweet retaliation.
Though hard he tried, no love could he invoke.
Bereft, he sighed in bitter resignation.
Well written, a very good entry into the contest of deadly sins.
Good luck
Mary
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The cruel Duke took his love away and locked him in a tower to rot away.
When faced with his love again, his need for revenge was strong.
He searched his heart and found the truth she spoke,
for what he felt was sweet retaliation.
Though hard he tried, no love could he invoke.
Bereft, he sighed in bitter resignation.
Well written, a very good entry into the contest of deadly sins.
Good luck
Mary
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
Comment from Neonewman
Six stars for every gripping moment I spent reading this brilliant piece you have so well crafted. I am in awe at its perfection, I am a huge fan of this genre and am beside myself with envy. Good luck in the contest and the artwork completes the moment.
God bless!
Steve
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Six stars for every gripping moment I spent reading this brilliant piece you have so well crafted. I am in awe at its perfection, I am a huge fan of this genre and am beside myself with envy. Good luck in the contest and the artwork completes the moment.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
Comment from Dr. Nad
This Deadly Sins writing prompt entry is a very good one. You have taken an atrocity, "Hatred", and highlighted it's POWER. What is so senseless to most conscientious people has become a way of life that promotes joy to the calloused. This is a well written story poem. Thanks for Sharing. May God Bless You.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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This Deadly Sins writing prompt entry is a very good one. You have taken an atrocity, "Hatred", and highlighted it's POWER. What is so senseless to most conscientious people has become a way of life that promotes joy to the calloused. This is a well written story poem. Thanks for Sharing. May God Bless You.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. Blessings.
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You are very welcome,
Embrace the Love from above!
Comment from LIJ Red
Wrath seemed, as your notes say, more an effect than a cause, indeed hardly a sin if justified, and no sin, even a nobility, if tempered with mercy. But I've known
men made untrustable by foul tempers...a fine story/poem touching the prompt.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Wrath seemed, as your notes say, more an effect than a cause, indeed hardly a sin if justified, and no sin, even a nobility, if tempered with mercy. But I've known
men made untrustable by foul tempers...a fine story/poem touching the prompt.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Very thoughtful and thought provoking comments. Much appreciated. Thank you for the great response and encouragement.
Comment from nordicgirl
Wonderful in depth study of wrath. Not just an example but a true story with reason and cause behind it. So very well penned. Nothing close to this.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Wonderful in depth study of wrath. Not just an example but a true story with reason and cause behind it. So very well penned. Nothing close to this.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Wow! I'm so pleased with your review. I'll take it as a win regardless of the vote. Thank you so very much!!
Comment from Acquired Taste
This is excellent - alas, I have no 6s left. I love the story, the cadence and the rhyme to this.
Your Author Notes are all too true and bring a sense that evil is encouraged in the smallest of ways too often left to feed and fester within a soul. And when loosed - there truly is hell to pay.
Excellent artwork that compliments the verse. My wishes for very good luck in the contest. AT=/
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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This is excellent - alas, I have no 6s left. I love the story, the cadence and the rhyme to this.
Your Author Notes are all too true and bring a sense that evil is encouraged in the smallest of ways too often left to feed and fester within a soul. And when loosed - there truly is hell to pay.
Excellent artwork that compliments the verse. My wishes for very good luck in the contest. AT=/
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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The thought is indeed what counts! Big smiles here. I'm so pleased you enjoyed and appreciate the well wishes. I'll cross my fingers, but I'm already pleased with your review as a reward!!
Comment from Charlene0513
To mistake a crime of passion for mercy is wrong.
When a life is controlled ratherthan to live freely without restraits they become vengeful against the so-called adversary.
But well written with intrigue and a daunting expression throughout.
- with enjambments
Charlene
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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To mistake a crime of passion for mercy is wrong.
When a life is controlled ratherthan to live freely without restraits they become vengeful against the so-called adversary.
But well written with intrigue and a daunting expression throughout.
- with enjambments
Charlene
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I enjoy being given thoughts to ponder as you have done. Appreciate the compliments too!
Comment from Tatarka2
This is an almost-perfect poem. (I think I would have just said "cruel" rather than used the contraction). It's so scary, and the hideous, evil feeling it evokes continues throughout the poem. I didn't think you were going to be able to rhyme with "retaliation," but you did - and so effectively! I hope this wins the contest. Such an affecting, effective piece of writing!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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This is an almost-perfect poem. (I think I would have just said "cruel" rather than used the contraction). It's so scary, and the hideous, evil feeling it evokes continues throughout the poem. I didn't think you were going to be able to rhyme with "retaliation," but you did - and so effectively! I hope this wins the contest. Such an affecting, effective piece of writing!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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A smile inducing review. :) I'm so pleased you enjoyed this. I suppose I'm in fear of the committee with the "cru'l" usage. I wanted to make sure it was counted as one syllable otherwise I'd just leave it as "cruel". By the time the reader gets there I think they would read it as one along with the rhythm. I'll cross my fingers, but I'll take your review as a win!!
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I voted for it. I think it should win, but I'm afraid that the horror of the piece, which is what makes it so powerful, may have kept many from voting for it.
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Could be. The winning entry had a picture of terrorist victims, even better than a puppy! I'm surprised it did as well as it did. Oh well, I'm happy with it and I'm pleased you enjoyed it. mikey
Comment from BeasPeas
A very interesting and well-written poem. Food for thought as is your author's note. Yes, there is a reason for every action and reaction. Poses the question--what is justified? Any of it or none of it?
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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A very interesting and well-written poem. Food for thought as is your author's note. Yes, there is a reason for every action and reaction. Poses the question--what is justified? Any of it or none of it?
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you for a thoughtful review. Thought provoking too! Much appreciated.
Comment from mommerry
The story told by your poem is not just sad, it is horrific. It comes through very clearly. The only negative comment I have is that I really don't like the 8th stanza. I know in poetry you have license to use words incorrectly, but "Took" and "forsook" just bothered me a lot.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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The story told by your poem is not just sad, it is horrific. It comes through very clearly. The only negative comment I have is that I really don't like the 8th stanza. I know in poetry you have license to use words incorrectly, but "Took" and "forsook" just bothered me a lot.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much. Yeah, it's a little stuffy for my tastes too. I'll keep thinking about something to replace it. But, I so pleased you enjoyed it other than that!
