Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I see child and spouse abuse at the school I teach in often and the authorities are so overworked that only in the very severe cases is anything done. By severe I need the child or spouse almost died. And you are correct, the young males are already acting out the learned behavior at school. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, Barbara, and for taking time out to review this for me. I truly appreciate it. ;}

Comment from rod007

Excellent

The sounds and words transpose the reader into the macabre world you've skillfully created. The dark-evil imagery of the warning father and grandfather are very clear in this piece. My dad is deceased and he use to dwell in the mysteries of metaphysics so this piece is bringing a shiver to my spine. Well done, Dean.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, Rod, and for taking time out to review this for me. I truly appreciate it. ;}

Comment from rtobaygo

Exceptional

Hello, Dean

Dark, foreboding, chilling with a deep sense of primal evil.

Of all the lines, this stuck with me:loathsome, hallow soul

Well done (as always)!

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015

Thanks so much, Ray. I really appreciate your very complimentary comments and the six star rating. Most of all, I really happy that you enjoyed reading it. ~Dean

Comment from Delahay

Exceptional

I actually haven't seen such a family as you describe, at least not to my knowledge, but I think I understand what you are getting at here. There is a generational aspect to some dysfunctional families. If the cycle is not interrupted the same thing will continue.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015

That's absolutely right, Ward, and it is a lot like that in my wife's family. So much pain and trouble has plagued her dearly departed mother's side of the family, and it rears it's ugly head in our own lives from time to time.

I sincerely appreciate you taking the time required to read this and share your comments with me about it.

Be well, my friend. :) ~Dean

Comment from rstonerjr

Excellent

Well I guess when it's the soul we open there's no where to hide or secrets to conceal. Every man for himself the end is coming and they know. Deep well versed write. Great sonnet in rhyme pattern and syllable count. Reads smoothly and message conveyed clearly. Visually appealing presentation as well. Congratulations on another fine write.Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, rstonerjr, and for taking time out to review this for me. I truly appreciate it. ;}

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

There was a family in my maternal ancestry who bequeathed a foul temper by name-a destructive tantrum was a Davis Fit. (name changed to protect the old sinners) Yep. Seen that.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, Red, and for taking time out to review this for me. I truly appreciate it. ;}

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

This is great! I am glad you took down the music so I can "hear" your poem. It is appropriately dark, Gothic, Poe-like. This is a very musical sonnet. Your rhymes and imagery work for an haunting effect. I wish you success in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for your comments and candor, Sis Cat , and for taking time out to review this for me. I have since deleted the music...

reply by Sis Cat on 25-Jan-2015

You're welcome. I have gone back to try to read your poem, but it appears you have deleted the text. The screen is blank. Can you please repost the text?

reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015

You'll probably have to read it on FanStory classic, if you're not there now. It happens all the time anytime you italicize font on the uppgraded FanStory site. It is nothing I've done, it simply won't show up on the new site, just classic. That's why I never use the new site. Too many bugs for me.

Comment from gypsymoth

Excellent

I can give testimony to your words, sorry to say. Bad traits
have a way of making their way to the surface like fat on
a broth. No matter that the child may not have been
raised by that parent or maybe never even met them.
That's why parents have the obligation to raise a child with the knowledge and respect for the Lord or be made to pay a terrible cost for failing to do so.
Gypsymoth

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Yes, they most certainly do, and far more often than we'd like them too, gypsymoth. But through diligent prayer and supplication, those curses can be broken. It just takes a little work, and a lot of faith.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful review. ~Dean

Comment from livelylinda

Exceptional

Dean of Death: "heh-heh-heh" back at ya buddy! Reading this poem was especially traumatic being Sunday and almost church time. The unexpected 'bonnnnng' that begins the poem sets the stage for the sinister tone and is still playing as I type this. I must go now and quit shivering. I hope my shower is safe from that large knife welding thing. Red would not match my white/beige/gold bathroom, at all! Fantastic piece. Linda

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015

Hey, you can make red work with nearly anything, Linda. With the exception of pink, of course. No way does that ever work out well, LOL.

Thanks for the sixer and the fun review. As always, it's a pleasure to hear from you! :} ~Dean

Comment from Mastery

Exceptional

"There are many people today who are living under bondage that the sins of their forefathers has brought them under." Yup. It's true. Unfortunately these things are difficult if not impossible to reverse, huh, Desan? good job, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015

Thanks so much for weighing in on this one for me, Bob, and for the six stars as well. You're absolutely tight, generational curses are very difficult to overcome, but it can be done. It just takes a lot of effort, and prayer, of course. :) ~Dean