Let's Talk Dirty!
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "A Close Encounter"The story about three women who need to make money
14 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
The last paragraph made the whole chapter worth it! How funny! I did that last year when I was cleaning up the muck of a virus. Taking out the needed programs of my laptop, because they didn't ring a bell! Been there done that, and readers will sympathize with them. :-)
Just a few short suggestions:
It wasn't a problem though because he pick them up on his way to work. (add 'could' between because he and pick them up)
Karen and Jenny were just relieved (take out 'just')
The pressure off for now. (add 'was' between pressure and off)
She was just used to turning it on and doing whatever she wanted to do (take out 'just')
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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The last paragraph made the whole chapter worth it! How funny! I did that last year when I was cleaning up the muck of a virus. Taking out the needed programs of my laptop, because they didn't ring a bell! Been there done that, and readers will sympathize with them. :-)
Just a few short suggestions:
It wasn't a problem though because he pick them up on his way to work. (add 'could' between because he and pick them up)
Karen and Jenny were just relieved (take out 'just')
The pressure off for now. (add 'was' between pressure and off)
She was just used to turning it on and doing whatever she wanted to do (take out 'just')
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Lol, I shall add 'just' to my 'so' and 'that' list. You are helping me so much, Sue, and giving me fresh eyes to go through this again. 'Just' what the doctor ordered! Alexis xxx
Comment from Glasstruth
Very detailed. Reads smoothly. Viruses, malware, all these things are quite natural when going on a porn site. For Karen's laptop being infected I suppose it's just the start. Glad she's got it fixed. Can't wait to see how her new business starts. I'm sure there'll be rough waters ahead. Les
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Very detailed. Reads smoothly. Viruses, malware, all these things are quite natural when going on a porn site. For Karen's laptop being infected I suppose it's just the start. Glad she's got it fixed. Can't wait to see how her new business starts. I'm sure there'll be rough waters ahead. Les
Comment Written 24-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Rough but fun! Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from adewpearl
but they insisted she sat down - insisted she sit
and suggested she wrote - and suggested she write
eyes opened wide with fear - good use of non-verbal communication to register emotion
excellent, realistic-sounding dialogue that sounds like kids expressing concern to their mom
I like all the intrigue/hiding
Brooke
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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but they insisted she sat down - insisted she sit
and suggested she wrote - and suggested she write
eyes opened wide with fear - good use of non-verbal communication to register emotion
excellent, realistic-sounding dialogue that sounds like kids expressing concern to their mom
I like all the intrigue/hiding
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much for this really helpful and encouraging review. Alexis x
Comment from Curly Girly
Ha-ha! I enjoyed reading this one when the two women deleted Cyber Spy! It all sounds very plausible -- I am sure this might have happened to you, or one of your friends. We do our best to fix things, but sometimes our ignorance cannot be avoided because we never went to school with these things.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Ha-ha! I enjoyed reading this one when the two women deleted Cyber Spy! It all sounds very plausible -- I am sure this might have happened to you, or one of your friends. We do our best to fix things, but sometimes our ignorance cannot be avoided because we never went to school with these things.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
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Yes, it did, but many years ago when our teenage son was left at home with his mate. The little beggars went on my computer to investigate porn sites and my secretary arrived the next day and got one of the BIGGEST surprises of her life. I don't think she looked at her partner in the same way after that! Alexis x
Comment from Spitfire
Phew! That was a close call. Have internet problems. Just ask the younger generation. Razor blades is good as a symbol of the dangerous sites they're researching.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Phew! That was a close call. Have internet problems. Just ask the younger generation. Razor blades is good as a symbol of the dangerous sites they're researching.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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I don't know what I would do without my son. Having said that, twelve years ago exactly the same thing happened to my computer after we left my then teenage son home alone! Now it's payback time.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Bless him, if he saw the porn he would probably have realised his mum wouldn't have downloaded it. That's what good sons are like! :) Well that solved their problem. :) xx
I think I have caught up now! Brilliant story, it's not a sex story, its too funny for that. I am really enjoying it. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Bless him, if he saw the porn he would probably have realised his mum wouldn't have downloaded it. That's what good sons are like! :) Well that solved their problem. :) xx
I think I have caught up now! Brilliant story, it's not a sex story, its too funny for that. I am really enjoying it. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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That's music to my ears, Sandra. I could change the title so people aren't put off, but I like it too much. Hopefully, if I can put it in the right playwright's hands, it might be a film one day, so I think the title would be perfect for that. My job is to write scenes that are funny, but not smutty. Not an easy job considering the subject! Alexis x
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I think you have the balance right, Alexis, sometimes people read too much in a title. As a film? I think you would have hit on your hands. There are a few actors and actresses I can see in certain roles already. It would be a hilarious film. I think you will pull this off perfectly. The humour, well, honestly, Alexis, and this is the gospel truth, I have not laughed at the narration in a book since I read, 'The Moon's A Balloon' by David Niven. :)
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What a wonderful compliment! I would love to know who you could imagine playing the women's parts because they need alter egos when they start working for the chat lines. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! x
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I can't for the life of me think of their names, Dawn French came to mind straight away, the other two played sisters for years, and the 'largest' sister has played a part in Emerdale, she helped her son commit suicide. She is a fantastic actress and can play any part. I thought of Barbara Windsor and Susan George, and Judy Dench as the widow. But I think they are too old. There are a few, if I could only think of their names. But Dawn French is a must have! I'll start interviewing them when you are halfway through the book! You realise I am now your manager!! :)
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The job's yours!!
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
At least her family were sympathetic
about her leg and now the anti-virus
system has been renewed, she shouldn't
have any more trouble with "Pop-up things"
on her laptop - or will she....
Margaret
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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At least her family were sympathetic
about her leg and now the anti-virus
system has been renewed, she shouldn't
have any more trouble with "Pop-up things"
on her laptop - or will she....
Margaret
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Lol! Glad to say the 'pop-up things will only rear their ugly heads again when they start working for the chat lines, and I won't have to describe them because they're at the other end of the phone!
Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there Lady "L".
I enjoyed your story line more because I HATE smart phones. I have a dumb phone and it texts and takes calls. I can take pictures, but unless I send them to someone with a smart phone & they then email em to me, I loose them. This was superb
Bear
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Hey there Lady "L".
I enjoyed your story line more because I HATE smart phones. I have a dumb phone and it texts and takes calls. I can take pictures, but unless I send them to someone with a smart phone & they then email em to me, I loose them. This was superb
Bear
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Lol, I'm the same, Bear. I gave the new one I got on my contract and gave it to my son. I'm much happier with the simpler one I bought him a couple of years ago. Bless you for the wonderful review and very complimentary six - both are really appreciated.
Alexis xxx
Comment from rwilliam
You are just too much!!! Hahahahaha haa!! I have a bad cold and when I laugh it sounds horrible but I don't care I'm still laughing! Great work!
I especially love your 'author notes' comment!!
didn't see anything to fix... wooo hoo, huh?!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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You are just too much!!! Hahahahaha haa!! I have a bad cold and when I laugh it sounds horrible but I don't care I'm still laughing! Great work!
I especially love your 'author notes' comment!!
didn't see anything to fix... wooo hoo, huh?!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Yippee! I hope you're feeling better soon, my eagle eye! Alexis x
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Alexis. So good to read your work again. Problems with spyware on the computer is a real problem.. I use Malware Bytes myself and have no problems. Have for the past three years. Fits well in your story the way it has gone though. Good job. Bob
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Hi, Alexis. So good to read your work again. Problems with spyware on the computer is a real problem.. I use Malware Bytes myself and have no problems. Have for the past three years. Fits well in your story the way it has gone though. Good job. Bob
Comment Written 21-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Sadly, it seems to be getting worse. I thought the porn site loops would have gone by now (my teenage son managed to pick one up on my computer twelve years ago when we were out one evening!)but yes, they're still happening, but only if your laptop/computer isn't protected. With all the on line banking these days, nobody can take that chance! Alexis x
