Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Dean,

Just tried your other piece. It finally came up, so on my way to it after this review.

Dark, dark, indeed. Too bad you didn't win. It's one thing to be blind, but to skip out with the 'wad,' pure genius!
Super story from beginning to end.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2015

Thanks, Jax, I really appreciate your sentiments.

The winning story by Gareth (girrafmang--http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=738525), titled "Righteous" was an excellent story, truly terrifying. I don't care one bit to lose to a story of that caliber.

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 25-Jan-2015

Thx, I'll check it out.

Cheers

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

Wow; this is really good and extremely riveting. Very raw. I can't believe you didn't win this contest. A fine piece of writing. I absolutely sped through the first go through. Does this game really exist?

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015

Thanks, Green, but Gareth's story, the one that won the contest titled "Righteous", was an outstanding story and would have been very hard to beat. Still, I'm very happy you feel it should have won. Sadly, I can't seem to get anyone to read my posts until after the contests are already over, no matter how highly I promote them. This one had just eight reviews at the time the contest was going on.

As for the game of Cat & Mouse, I made that up. Chances are , though, somewhere -- out there -- something like it does exist, I'm sure.

Thanks so much again for the excellent review. :}

reply by Green Lake Girl on 24-Jan-2015

The fact that you made up such a game is a testament to your amazing imagination, and perhaps such a twisted games does exist. Makes me shudder to think about that.

Not sure why you're not getting more reviews with decent $$ attached to it. I'm behind on reading and reviewing on FS--that's my excuse. Hard to figure out what makes people read or not read.

Comment from lancellot

Exceptional

Damn Good, Dean. Yes, that is one guy made for darkness. Nice opposing views killer and better killer. Good backstory, it made the American's death more meaningful. Perfect entry.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015

Thanks, Lance. I take that as a great compliment, especially coming from an author of your caliber. As always, I appreciate your support and the six star rating. Much obliged. :)

~Dean

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

It certainly kept me captivated. It's really good. Knowing the Far East myself (having lived there for a while) I think you have a good take on it.
Apart from a few commas missing and at the very start : I been playing should have been I've?.....
Yes, I liked it

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015

Thanks, Ulla. My ex-GI's speech isn't what any of us would call proper English, and I meant to convey that by his informal way of talking. I know many people who, for whatever reasons, leave off the apostrophe 'EV' when speaking, and say things like, "I been doin' this a long time, man", or "I been checkin' her out just as soon as she walked in the door" That's what I meant to convey in the sentence that you mentioned. It was completely intentional, in other words.

Anyhow, thanks so much again for taking time out to review it. I really appreciate it. ~Dean

Comment from makril0075

Excellent

Loved your work

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2015

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Guess I'd appreciate this more if I'd ever watched that TV show, but I like the way you connected the topic to your story.

Being blind has had it's advantages << Its, no apostrophe.

It's = it is
Its = belonging to it

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015

Thanks for reading, Phyllis, and for pointing that out to me. I thought I'd corrected all of the errors. Shows ya what I get for thinking.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

The sense of place benefits from whatever research you have done- something more would be wise to do. Some of your research maybe even involved a Daredevil comic or in other words, your take on the darkness prompt is very clever and unique. Some have no choice but to function just as well in the dark. The octagon crossed with Apocalypse Now, MMA and a really wicked game of Mousetrap. Excellent story.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015

Thank you, Ed, I appreciate you taking time to read & review it for me.

Much obliged, my friend.~Dean

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

A very engaging story right from the start.Dark but coming from you Dean I expected something really horrible.
Good storyline well developed at a pace that the reader can follow and enjoy
I love that you use the same sentence to end the story.
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015

Thanks, Erica. I'm glad you liked the story. As for the contest, I got schooled in the voting both. It wasn't even close.

~Dean

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Dean, this is a story and a half my friend, in fact, one of the best stories I have read in along time, it was so well executed (no pun intended) and that ending was to - well- die for! This will certainly get my vote my friend and I really regret not keeping a six.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015

Thanks, Eric, and would have welcomed your vote. I lost miserably in this contest ,9 votes to two yesterday.

~Dean

reply by Eric1 on 24-Jan-2015

That's a bit of a high margin Dean.

reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015

Yeah, tell me about it, Eric. It almost caused me to give up writing for good. Almost...

reply by Eric1 on 24-Jan-2015

I have a fight on my hands for POM at the moment, wouldn't mind, but she's the best on here! LOL.

reply by the author on 24-Jan-2015

I voted for your WWI Poem on day one.

reply by Eric1 on 24-Jan-2015

Thank you my friend.

Comment from Muffins

Excellent

The writing is pure poetry and clever. Waiting until the reader is knee deep into the story to expose the main character's disability is amazing. It's a quiet wow factor. However, in this case his blindness is an advantage.

This story displays your gift for whimsical portrayals of the broken and the bad.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015

Thank you very much, Muffins. I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story. :)

~Dean