haiku (crossing from here)
haiku 4-7-521 total reviews
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck with the contest
your few words portray the rapid can access any place to cross
good use "S" "C consonance
good use "E" assonance
flows easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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good luck with the contest
your few words portray the rapid can access any place to cross
good use "S" "C consonance
good use "E" assonance
flows easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you for the nice detailed review. I got thrashed, but I liked my little poem anyway. :) Glad you found it to your liking. mikey
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most welcome ...SC
Comment from kiwijenny
Wow I love this....crossing from here to inaccessible there
Wouldn't that be fun if crossing to the other side was like kayaking white water ....that is so much fun
God bless
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Wow I love this....crossing from here to inaccessible there
Wouldn't that be fun if crossing to the other side was like kayaking white water ....that is so much fun
God bless
Comment Written 22-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much. I was rather pleased with this. It seemed like a real Haiku! I'm delighted that you liked it. Blessings, mikey
Comment from adewpearl
stunning presentation of your poem, which is in good haiku structure
I like the flow the multi-syllable "inaccessible" provides
it is also a strong descriptive word so appropriate to this scene
good alliteration in white water and consonance of hard C sounds in crossing/inaccessible
you create a dramatic scene with good sensory and emotional appeal Brooke
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stunning presentation of your poem, which is in good haiku structure
I like the flow the multi-syllable "inaccessible" provides
it is also a strong descriptive word so appropriate to this scene
good alliteration in white water and consonance of hard C sounds in crossing/inaccessible
you create a dramatic scene with good sensory and emotional appeal Brooke
Comment Written 20-Jan-2015
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Anon. Whilst I am not a big fan of these little pieces of poetry, from time to time one just jumps up and grabs me and this is one of them. This is a very good entry and I wish you luck in it. Cheers Fez
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G'day Anon. Whilst I am not a big fan of these little pieces of poetry, from time to time one just jumps up and grabs me and this is one of them. This is a very good entry and I wish you luck in it. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from l.raven
OMG...I would be soooo afraid the bridge would come tumbling down...or the water would come pouring over the top...very well written...and a great picture...Luff Linda xxoo
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OMG...I would be soooo afraid the bridge would come tumbling down...or the water would come pouring over the top...very well written...and a great picture...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from LIJ Red
I might not guess a bridge was involved without the picture, since canoeing is a big thing around here. Don't let the judges read this review. I like the picture, and with
it it's a good post.
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I might not guess a bridge was involved without the picture, since canoeing is a big thing around here. Don't let the judges read this review. I like the picture, and with
it it's a good post.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent colour and picture presentation, though maybe 'edit' to reduce the gap after last line which will centralise the words more.
I really like this message of positivity - if we are daring enough, and the last line sums the theme up so well, in that it's often not easy to take those steps for fear of a fall.
Top entry.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
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Excellent colour and picture presentation, though maybe 'edit' to reduce the gap after last line which will centralise the words more.
I really like this message of positivity - if we are daring enough, and the last line sums the theme up so well, in that it's often not easy to take those steps for fear of a fall.
Top entry.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
Wow. That is so poetic in such a short piece. It reads like butter melting ina skillet!! Thought provoking and certainly stand alone. That said, what a great imsge to enhance the words. This is the winner in my eyes.
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Wow. That is so poetic in such a short piece. It reads like butter melting ina skillet!! Thought provoking and certainly stand alone. That said, what a great imsge to enhance the words. This is the winner in my eyes.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow! I can certainly understand why they put a bridge there in that location. Holy smokes, getting across that spans of water with anything in tow would be absolutely out of the question.
Your haiku is nicely done, and very well presented.
Best of luck in the contest. ~Dean
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Wow! I can certainly understand why they put a bridge there in that location. Holy smokes, getting across that spans of water with anything in tow would be absolutely out of the question.
Your haiku is nicely done, and very well presented.
Best of luck in the contest. ~Dean
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
Comment from flamingstar
Wow, that's concrete imagery, alright! Those rapids scare the hell out of me. I did it once...I'm never sure about these haiku but this one did it for me!
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Wow, that's concrete imagery, alright! Those rapids scare the hell out of me. I did it once...I'm never sure about these haiku but this one did it for me!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
