The Wonder
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "What's his name"miscellaneous poems
10 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
Michael, I meant to review this work a while back but time and circumstance sidetracked me.
There are very very few free verse poets on here who can pull off a true poem.
Your free verse spill in a stream of consciousness where in the reader floats comfortably and lazily along with it or rushes with great exhilaration through the gauntlet of one man's thought process.
When we think of meter, reviewers tend to dispel free verse has having qualitive substance for meter. Nothing could be farther from the truth. All language despite the arrangement between accented and unaccented syllables.
The study of meter is fascinating but highly complex subject. It is by no means an absolute prerequisite to an enjoyment, even a rich enjoyment of poetry.
There is nothing easier than a moderately or highly talented versifier to make language go ta_dum ta_dum. Consequently, if a versifier gets so caught up in the perfection of meter, the probability is that the poet, instead of adapting rhythm to meaning, has simply forced his meaning into a metrical straitjacket.
Rest assure your beautiful poetry has a natural rhythm of life to it and a feel that the narrator absorbs thought and life in all its facets and brings us a rich experience in thoughts and emotions.
Love you and your work. This poem resonates with me on multi dimensional levels.
The phrase "she burns my wood" .. metaphor or allusion.. it is moving.
Where rusts rests unsatisfied.. this whole stanza is potent and quite emotional.
Much love and respect.. Jimi
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2015
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Michael, I meant to review this work a while back but time and circumstance sidetracked me.
There are very very few free verse poets on here who can pull off a true poem.
Your free verse spill in a stream of consciousness where in the reader floats comfortably and lazily along with it or rushes with great exhilaration through the gauntlet of one man's thought process.
When we think of meter, reviewers tend to dispel free verse has having qualitive substance for meter. Nothing could be farther from the truth. All language despite the arrangement between accented and unaccented syllables.
The study of meter is fascinating but highly complex subject. It is by no means an absolute prerequisite to an enjoyment, even a rich enjoyment of poetry.
There is nothing easier than a moderately or highly talented versifier to make language go ta_dum ta_dum. Consequently, if a versifier gets so caught up in the perfection of meter, the probability is that the poet, instead of adapting rhythm to meaning, has simply forced his meaning into a metrical straitjacket.
Rest assure your beautiful poetry has a natural rhythm of life to it and a feel that the narrator absorbs thought and life in all its facets and brings us a rich experience in thoughts and emotions.
Love you and your work. This poem resonates with me on multi dimensional levels.
The phrase "she burns my wood" .. metaphor or allusion.. it is moving.
Where rusts rests unsatisfied.. this whole stanza is potent and quite emotional.
Much love and respect.. Jimi
Comment Written 27-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2015
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what is a poet...who is a poet...? he or she who sees music...in the heartbeat of humanity...before its heard. a piece of pure white paper splattered with life, ink read before it dries. You can teach ..."structure"...someone else's "form". you can teach, in step by step practice, how to follow....but to be "felt" by most...all you really have to be is real. and I love you and yours....-smile- Michael
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Good night sweet man.
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I love you, you silly rabbit
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-headshake-...ya know, a small round of applause, a long stem or two thrown my direction, might suffice for Oh hell I don't know say fifteen twenty minutes at least....-headshake-...wake up will ya...you don't hear this kind of thing unless you get dressed up for the Academy awards...whatever....I'm done...I cant do this anymore-
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Huh? I know Emmy, I know. Yeah I know.
Comment from michaelcahill
This is so emotional and then you add the music and maybe I've run out of testosterone or something. Well, I never did hang out with poker buddies anyway. Amazing images. I sense inexplicable female shenanigans a foot. I love these that I spend a long time with and still can come back to for more. Awesome. mikey
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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This is so emotional and then you add the music and maybe I've run out of testosterone or something. Well, I never did hang out with poker buddies anyway. Amazing images. I sense inexplicable female shenanigans a foot. I love these that I spend a long time with and still can come back to for more. Awesome. mikey
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Hi Mike...-smile-...yes you guess right. ...and I swear to God I wonder why...-smile- thanks man ...big love Michael
Comment from Glasstruth
To dream is to hope and without that, what are we? Your words elusively drift onto my screen in a dreamy fashion, as I try grabbing each metaphor of that 'jubalia scent' which eases me into... what? Don't know, but I like it. Three thumbs up! Les
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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To dream is to hope and without that, what are we? Your words elusively drift onto my screen in a dreamy fashion, as I try grabbing each metaphor of that 'jubalia scent' which eases me into... what? Don't know, but I like it. Three thumbs up! Les
Comment Written 10-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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dying without....which eases us into truth. does any life make sense until its through....ahh hell Les....I'm getting old man.....-smile-....its happening to me too... God dammit. Big love Michael
Comment from l.raven
Michael, so much pain felt sweetie...so many different emotions read...written uniquely to your own words...very nicely written...and I love the picture...the video so sad...love ya you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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Michael, so much pain felt sweetie...so many different emotions read...written uniquely to your own words...very nicely written...and I love the picture...the video so sad...love ya you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 09-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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ahh well....when you live with your enemy.....you tend to feel insecure and wonder if maybe God doesn't love you after all.....do you know that some women are crazy...? -headshake-...yep...I've witnessed it....some really believe that a relationship was where none ever existed.....except in their own confused minds. and others well...they create drama like a play write tries to create divine...so they can perform. its really quite fascinating...almost like observing a new species caged in a zoo. woo hoo whats playing next...? Big Love Linda outlasts them all...-wink- be sure...Michael
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headshake...hi Michael...take two aspirins and call me in the morning...wink...be sure??? love
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hello, Michael
It's good to read your work again. This poem strikes me as a soulful lament of one who is very sad. I like the metaphor: "where rust rests unsatisfied". This creates a lot of vivid imagery and emotive impact on the reader.
I do have one SPAG suggestion for you to consider:
quicker than Gods [God's] love prayed for
For me, I think the poem would read a bit easier if you included minimal punctuation to separate the phrases.
Hope you're staying warm during this Arctic Clipper.
-Ray
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Hello, Michael
It's good to read your work again. This poem strikes me as a soulful lament of one who is very sad. I like the metaphor: "where rust rests unsatisfied". This creates a lot of vivid imagery and emotive impact on the reader.
I do have one SPAG suggestion for you to consider:
quicker than Gods [God's] love prayed for
For me, I think the poem would read a bit easier if you included minimal punctuation to separate the phrases.
Hope you're staying warm during this Arctic Clipper.
-Ray
Comment Written 09-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Hey Ray...-smile- ahh I suppose, wrote it while listening to the video. well thank you man....I fixed it. I know Ray....I know...I want it read the way its said...not how someone else said it was supposed to be written. hope you're doing well sir...big love Michael
Comment from ravenblack
I risk everything- so full of emotion. I can't pick this one apart as as a whole, it hit me hard. I'm not ashamed to admit that the video brought tears to my eyes. There will always be a longing that is never satisfied.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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I risk everything- so full of emotion. I can't pick this one apart as as a whole, it hit me hard. I'm not ashamed to admit that the video brought tears to my eyes. There will always be a longing that is never satisfied.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Hey Ed...thanks Bro....yea man.....that video got to me too....you see how old Danny Iotella is.....Jesus man....-headshake-...I aint looking forward to that shit. Bless you man big love Michael
Comment from daeneam
Hey dear Michael! How you've been? Where have I been? I missed you. I'm dropping by to say MARAMING SALAMAT SA DASAL (Thank you so much for your prayers)!!! I've passed my Ph.D. Examination! Thanks be to God! c", Mae
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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Hey dear Michael! How you've been? Where have I been? I missed you. I'm dropping by to say MARAMING SALAMAT SA DASAL (Thank you so much for your prayers)!!! I've passed my Ph.D. Examination! Thanks be to God! c", Mae
Comment Written 09-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2015
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Hi Mae Mae....-smile- ahh dealing with crazy....though I'm going to straightjacket it soon...be sure...-wink-...O...wow cool Mae....you did it!..WOOOOooOooooooo WOOOoOOoOOoooo BIG LOVE!!
Comment from Pyrrho
Your poem is totally unreadable on my screen. Often when such is the case I can highlight it and read it. Not so here. I award a four just to get this message to you.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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Your poem is totally unreadable on my screen. Often when such is the case I can highlight it and read it. Not so here. I award a four just to get this message to you.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015
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as you know I'm well aware of that...therefore I read and release on classic....until at such time it is fixed...but for now it remains broken. I have black background against white font...the same colors of every driving test in the United States of America...and I aint changing em' Pyrro...burn that down...-wink-
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in phrases like rust rests/far and few/fetched
and skin stuck
and others
vivid descriptive detail that appeals to more senses than just the visual
dawn's companionship - add apostrophe for possessive
forrest fire - forest
soulful expression of heartfelt emotion in good poetic form
Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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good alliteration in phrases like rust rests/far and few/fetched
and skin stuck
and others
vivid descriptive detail that appeals to more senses than just the visual
dawn's companionship - add apostrophe for possessive
forrest fire - forest
soulful expression of heartfelt emotion in good poetic form
Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Hey No. One....Happy New Year to you Brooke...-smile- ...well all right you know me ... all up in soulful expression.....-smile- I'm a desert nights diary bared open and shared cause thats all it knows...-wink- thank you for the clean up...big love Michael
Comment from DALLAS01
Wouldn't it be great, if every aspect of living made sense? I loved the video, not familiar with the singer but it was a powerful and moving (like the river) accompaniment to your poem.
I would lighten the back ground a little.. had a hard time reading it.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Wouldn't it be great, if every aspect of living made sense? I loved the video, not familiar with the singer but it was a powerful and moving (like the river) accompaniment to your poem.
I would lighten the back ground a little.. had a hard time reading it.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2015
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Hi D....-smile- you know with a name like that I'll bet you look like Shirley Temple...head tilted to the side all dimpled up....ahh Thank you Dear....how far is it to the candy shop anyways...? big love Michael
