Turn The Page
One day this world will end, and a new chapter will begin...84 total reviews
Comment from daeneam
I share the same view with yours, my friend. I also believe that all believers will be transported to heaven and that Great Tribulation will come sooner than we think. I'm not sure, if I'll be one of those who will go to heaven. But, I'm sure, it will be the saddest day of my life when I will be left behind.
Your beloved pastor is right; I firmly believe that this poem will be well received too.
Happy New Year, dear! God bless everyone! c", Mae
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I share the same view with yours, my friend. I also believe that all believers will be transported to heaven and that Great Tribulation will come sooner than we think. I'm not sure, if I'll be one of those who will go to heaven. But, I'm sure, it will be the saddest day of my life when I will be left behind.
Your beloved pastor is right; I firmly believe that this poem will be well received too.
Happy New Year, dear! God bless everyone! c", Mae
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from DR DIP
once again your wonderful penmanship shines through just one suggestion in the second last verse:
"Supple loam was gently stirring,
As every grave gave up their dead.
Angelic voices were whirring;
the father sang, and raised his head...."
suggest:
"Supple loam was gently stirring,
As every grave gave up their dead.
Angelic voices were softly whirring;
the father sang, and raised his head...."
I have added an adjective in the second last line I am not one for all that syllabic count crap bu i just feel it reads better rhythmically and the meter is better with it added. hey just my opinion
as always, dip
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once again your wonderful penmanship shines through just one suggestion in the second last verse:
"Supple loam was gently stirring,
As every grave gave up their dead.
Angelic voices were whirring;
the father sang, and raised his head...."
suggest:
"Supple loam was gently stirring,
As every grave gave up their dead.
Angelic voices were softly whirring;
the father sang, and raised his head...."
I have added an adjective in the second last line I am not one for all that syllabic count crap bu i just feel it reads better rhythmically and the meter is better with it added. hey just my opinion
as always, dip
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Sasha
Your pastor certainly gave you a tough challenge, and one that you met with terrific success. I found this so different than you usual scary stuff but still enjoyed it immensely. As always, keep up the great work.
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Your pastor certainly gave you a tough challenge, and one that you met with terrific success. I found this so different than you usual scary stuff but still enjoyed it immensely. As always, keep up the great work.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is nicely written, Dean. It is a frightening time to think about. A time when those left behind will suffer tremendously. I fear to even think about it. But we must have our lamps filled with oil and be prepared. Drew
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This is nicely written, Dean. It is a frightening time to think about. A time when those left behind will suffer tremendously. I fear to even think about it. But we must have our lamps filled with oil and be prepared. Drew
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Ric Myworld
I could give you a six-star rating on every poem that you write; however, they wouldn't mean nearly as much. Your versatility is what impresses me the most, although your skills are fine tuned to the max. Great poem, and information. Your pastor is smiling, too. :-)
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I could give you a six-star rating on every poem that you write; however, they wouldn't mean nearly as much. Your versatility is what impresses me the most, although your skills are fine tuned to the max. Great poem, and information. Your pastor is smiling, too. :-)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from GWHARGIS
Your poem was lovely, but still I keep thinking of zombies. Rising from the grave is something I am not so sure I can view in any other way. I have always visualized wispy ghost like figures rising in the call of the trumpet. I did enjoy this. Gretchen
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Your poem was lovely, but still I keep thinking of zombies. Rising from the grave is something I am not so sure I can view in any other way. I have always visualized wispy ghost like figures rising in the call of the trumpet. I did enjoy this. Gretchen
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Domino 2
As you know, Deano, this spiritual theme is not my fave, but I do respect and appreciate anything when it's done well, and you include some of your excellent trademark gore. :-)
With respect, I couldn't be bothered much with notes, as I think the poem should speak for itself.
A few meter issues here that made the read a little jumpy for me.
You express a dramatic and terrifying end of the world scenario, but as humans can't get much more selfish (the selfish 'haves' I mean), and it hasn't happened yet, I doubt it will by God's hand.
Much respect and admiration to you, my friend.
Cheers, Ray XX - BIG platonic kisses! :-)
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As you know, Deano, this spiritual theme is not my fave, but I do respect and appreciate anything when it's done well, and you include some of your excellent trademark gore. :-)
With respect, I couldn't be bothered much with notes, as I think the poem should speak for itself.
A few meter issues here that made the read a little jumpy for me.
You express a dramatic and terrifying end of the world scenario, but as humans can't get much more selfish (the selfish 'haves' I mean), and it hasn't happened yet, I doubt it will by God's hand.
Much respect and admiration to you, my friend.
Cheers, Ray XX - BIG platonic kisses! :-)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Genya
Not what I expected at all. I kept thinking, something will creep in here, but it didn't. Then I read your notes. Your Pastor certainly gave you a very difficult task I thought. After reading it the second time, I thought, this is beautiful and brilliantly written. One thing about you, it's obviously clear that you are a great writer who can turn your mind and craft to any subject. Excellent piece with perfect rhythm and rhyme. Just one little thing, my eyes are not the best and I found the script a bit small..having said that I read it on my IPad so could make the writing really big....the joys of getting older. Great poem Dean. Genya
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Not what I expected at all. I kept thinking, something will creep in here, but it didn't. Then I read your notes. Your Pastor certainly gave you a very difficult task I thought. After reading it the second time, I thought, this is beautiful and brilliantly written. One thing about you, it's obviously clear that you are a great writer who can turn your mind and craft to any subject. Excellent piece with perfect rhythm and rhyme. Just one little thing, my eyes are not the best and I found the script a bit small..having said that I read it on my IPad so could make the writing really big....the joys of getting older. Great poem Dean. Genya
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from emrpoems
Put it this way Dean. What ever you do you it well. you have show that there is another ability that you neglect. God is looking for person to reap the harvest and I think you ought to use your talent to assist. The harvest is ready but the labourers are few.
Well done researched and composed poem on the rapture.
Good use of abab rhyming scheme
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Put it this way Dean. What ever you do you it well. you have show that there is another ability that you neglect. God is looking for person to reap the harvest and I think you ought to use your talent to assist. The harvest is ready but the labourers are few.
Well done researched and composed poem on the rapture.
Good use of abab rhyming scheme
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
the master has taken a challenge and succeeded on presenting a wonderful piece. Excellently done and no way to insult anyone reading this.
Loved it and great job.
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the master has taken a challenge and succeeded on presenting a wonderful piece. Excellently done and no way to insult anyone reading this.
Loved it and great job.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
