~Midnight DeMonica~
Monica's waiting for you...17 total reviews
Comment from Quire's Gal
Ha, ha ha Dean. I'll hand you the six just for making me LMAO. You're great! Congratulations on your accomplishments. Monica's ebony eyes by the way, were not staring, they were just tired. Looking forward to hearing more about her.
Brilliant use of syllable count and rhythm in each line. It flows beautifully.
Boo right back at ya' :)
Katherine
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Ha, ha ha Dean. I'll hand you the six just for making me LMAO. You're great! Congratulations on your accomplishments. Monica's ebony eyes by the way, were not staring, they were just tired. Looking forward to hearing more about her.
Brilliant use of syllable count and rhythm in each line. It flows beautifully.
Boo right back at ya' :)
Katherine
Comment Written 05-Jan-2015
Comment from JPilcher
BAMMMMMMMMM!!! Damn you Dean (no offense & pardon my french!)!!!!! I can write horror too, right? Right?? We need a horror contest. Chop chop. LOL! ;) <3
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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BAMMMMMMMMM!!! Damn you Dean (no offense & pardon my french!)!!!!! I can write horror too, right? Right?? We need a horror contest. Chop chop. LOL! ;) <3
Comment Written 05-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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Thanks, J, and I have a horror contest I'm sponsoring right now. The entries aren't due until the 15th of this month, so there's still plenty of time to get in on the action. It is for prose, however, and not poetry. Here's the link, just in case you're really interested... http://www.fanstory.com/contestdetails.jsp?id=101358.
Thanks so much for the generous rating and review, my friend. I do appreciate it! :}
~Dean
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Prose Smose!! Lmao!! J/K!!! ;) I can write outside of poetry - I'm just lazy (not saying poetry is lazy - OMG! Don't repeat that!)!! :) <3
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Heh,heh...I won't, Jill, I promise. :)
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Just went to the link you gave - So... I've gone up/down on that one a few times plus actually. My 16 yr. old would probably nail it.
She actually turns 17 yrs. old on the due date for that btw! OMG.. 17?! :O You could say I started young & stopped early!! LOL!! ;)
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Ghosts, Homicide.. Then I'm in. Don't ask. Lmao. ;)
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Nothing wrong with that. My daughter just turned 18 last December. Seems like only yesterday I was changing her diapers...till I look in a mirror, that is. LOL...
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I also have a 7 yr. old!! LOL!!!
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Well, it's often said that idle hands allow the Devil's work, Jill. But with a 17 year old and 7 year old, you have nothing to worry about there, I'm sure. You probably have little time to breathe, much less anything else, LOL!
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Unfortunately I never sleep, which leaves me plenty of time for, lord only knows sometimes!! The soon-to-be 17 yr. old isn't my worry of the two though.
It's the nearly 8 yr. old that will likely be the death of me (my mothers phrase, which I swore I'd never ever say btw!)!!!
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I rarely sleep either. If I had a nickle for every time I've used the phrase, "You're going to be the death of me!", then I'd be sitting on a beach in the Bahamas right now instead of typing on my computer. On second thought, I'd probably be on the beach while ON my computer, still typing. Heh-heh... :D
Comment from a.w.brooks
Very well written I think everybody may have had a Monica in there life I know I have had a few on one way or another LOL it was a great story the best thing you could have done was flee. Thanks for the read and Happy writing
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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Very well written I think everybody may have had a Monica in there life I know I have had a few on one way or another LOL it was a great story the best thing you could have done was flee. Thanks for the read and Happy writing
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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Thanks, a.w! You're very kind, sir, and I sincerely appreciate your stellar rating and comments.
Happy writing to you as well. :}
~DeanO
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I am really NOT sure how to take this one as all Monica's are not askew in terms of compassion's hue. It is very well penned and certainly conveys the message you enhance with your notes. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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I am really NOT sure how to take this one as all Monica's are not askew in terms of compassion's hue. It is very well penned and certainly conveys the message you enhance with your notes. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from BeasPeas
Very good writing here--with rhyming to match. Excellent word choices. Presentation is mysterious and threatening. Reader discovers why in the last line: "forever heed this cry -- "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"
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Very good writing here--with rhyming to match. Excellent word choices. Presentation is mysterious and threatening. Reader discovers why in the last line: "forever heed this cry -- "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from seaglass
Ohhh...can't wait to hear the story about Monica. I've been on the receiving end of a male revenge and no scorn person (or one who believe they were scorned) is comfortable. The day an arm comes out of the mirror will be the day I die of fright.
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Ohhh...can't wait to hear the story about Monica. I've been on the receiving end of a male revenge and no scorn person (or one who believe they were scorned) is comfortable. The day an arm comes out of the mirror will be the day I die of fright.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from Acquired Taste
This poem begs for further exploration - in the least a short story, especially since your author notes denote a previous history with this scorned woman. Although, if you are the one that scorned her I might consider changing my name and leaving FanStory lest she find you.
Personally I see several scenes in this presentation - legs in wet cement might also represent you dropping her scary ass off the back end of a rowboat. But, that's just me.
Well done entry - best of luck! AT=/
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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This poem begs for further exploration - in the least a short story, especially since your author notes denote a previous history with this scorned woman. Although, if you are the one that scorned her I might consider changing my name and leaving FanStory lest she find you.
Personally I see several scenes in this presentation - legs in wet cement might also represent you dropping her scary ass off the back end of a rowboat. But, that's just me.
Well done entry - best of luck! AT=/
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2015
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Hah! Thanks so much, Jean. Your colorful commentary always seems to make my sometimes dreary days a little bit brighter, and this was certainly no exception. I truly appreciate it, my friend!
:}
~Dean
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A great Mirror contest entry. Bit cruel on Monica LOL. Well written and a spooky picture. Some very good alliteration in 'deadly demons' 'soul survives' 'soul swoons' and more. Does not 'look away' and 'divert your eyes' not mean the same thing? - a small niggle on a very well constructed poem in good rhyming couplets and a superb display (I hate misted mirrors - they frighten me - first thing I do on getting out of the bath is de-mist the mirror) - you know how to frighten a reader. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
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A great Mirror contest entry. Bit cruel on Monica LOL. Well written and a spooky picture. Some very good alliteration in 'deadly demons' 'soul survives' 'soul swoons' and more. Does not 'look away' and 'divert your eyes' not mean the same thing? - a small niggle on a very well constructed poem in good rhyming couplets and a superb display (I hate misted mirrors - they frighten me - first thing I do on getting out of the bath is de-mist the mirror) - you know how to frighten a reader. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
Comment from K. Lorraine
A bit of Twilight Zone in this poetic piece... maybe even Zane Grey. The flow of the story line was smooth and entertained me all the way through its end. I loved the ending line! Very good entry for this contest... good luck!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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A bit of Twilight Zone in this poetic piece... maybe even Zane Grey. The flow of the story line was smooth and entertained me all the way through its end. I loved the ending line! Very good entry for this contest... good luck!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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Thanks, K. Lorraine. I'm so happy to know that you enjoyed reading it. Have a wonderful week!
Comment from MelB
I like the use of the phrase Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Legs rigid, locked in cement - good imagery of being frozen and scared. Sounds like it is good to be free of Monica!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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I like the use of the phrase Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Legs rigid, locked in cement - good imagery of being frozen and scared. Sounds like it is good to be free of Monica!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2015
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It's very good to be free of Monica! She was a very scary gal. Thanks very much for your review, it is appreciated. :)
