Fluffy Bunnies - (re-post)
In honour of Dean Kuch's birthday!38 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
Wow. This is as inventive as hell. Amazing really. This is proving to be a killer competition. You have the edge with this I think. This story would stand alone without knowing Dean and that sets it apart from some of the entries. Mine for sure relies on inside jokes etc. which makes it popular. But this is soooooo good. Only greed will make me vote for myself, and of course lack of shame. Great work. mikey
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
  |
Wow. This is as inventive as hell. Amazing really. This is proving to be a killer competition. You have the edge with this I think. This story would stand alone without knowing Dean and that sets it apart from some of the entries. Mine for sure relies on inside jokes etc. which makes it popular. But this is soooooo good. Only greed will make me vote for myself, and of course lack of shame. Great work. mikey
Comment Written 03-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2015
-
LOL. There have been two fantastic competitions recently. This one and the parody one who hosted. They have really got the creative juices flowing for many a writer. I think it is a hrad pick in either competition. I wouldn't know who to vote for if not entered myself!!
Good luck to you in both.
Comment from J Patience
This was a nice read! Of course, the angst of rabbits from Watership Down infiltrated my interpretation of what was going on. Alice being a "he" was a nice touch of "something's not quite right" that kept winding through the course of events along with all of the other wrong things - beast, motley crew of beasts, hidden, locked female power - I was able to keep to it pretty well despite distractions in the house. Great job, and good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
|
This was a nice read! Of course, the angst of rabbits from Watership Down infiltrated my interpretation of what was going on. Alice being a "he" was a nice touch of "something's not quite right" that kept winding through the course of events along with all of the other wrong things - beast, motley crew of beasts, hidden, locked female power - I was able to keep to it pretty well despite distractions in the house. Great job, and good luck!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
-
Thanks for the reading and the review. I enjoyed writing this piece. It is a bit off-centre but works I think. Much appreciated
Comment from lakeport
Fluffy Bunnies, indeed rabbits are lovely creatures, and many like to eat them.
I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Lakeport.
Happy New Year 2015!!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
|
Fluffy Bunnies, indeed rabbits are lovely creatures, and many like to eat them.
I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Lakeport.
Happy New Year 2015!!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014
-
Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.
-
you are very welcome,.Lakeport.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, and I'm still writing about her, Gareth. She won't leave me alone, not ever. I think that she and my muse are in cahoots -- you know -- to make me crazier than I already am, which is one mean feat, I'll tell ya, LMAO...
In all seriousness, this glimpse at a nightmare through the rabbit hole was well written, downright eerie, creepy and filled with nightmarish imagery. I'll tell you this, I would not be the least bit surprised if you didn't win this thing outright.
Excellent terror tale, Gareth! So sorry I'm all out of sixes...
~Dean
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
|
Yeah, and I'm still writing about her, Gareth. She won't leave me alone, not ever. I think that she and my muse are in cahoots -- you know -- to make me crazier than I already am, which is one mean feat, I'll tell ya, LMAO...
In all seriousness, this glimpse at a nightmare through the rabbit hole was well written, downright eerie, creepy and filled with nightmarish imagery. I'll tell you this, I would not be the least bit surprised if you didn't win this thing outright.
Excellent terror tale, Gareth! So sorry I'm all out of sixes...
~Dean
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
-
This was fun to write. Thanks very much for the review and generous words.
Gareth
-
Sure... ;)
Comment from JanetRussek
Great story. Dialog between bunnies seemed natural (for bunnies). I loved the suspense from beginning to end. Scene and character description was wonderful. Cliff hanger ending was perfect. I enjoyed the read.
Warm Regards,
Janet
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
|
Great story. Dialog between bunnies seemed natural (for bunnies). I loved the suspense from beginning to end. Scene and character description was wonderful. Cliff hanger ending was perfect. I enjoyed the read.
Warm Regards,
Janet
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
-
This one was fun to write. I love rabbits. The photo is of my Mina! She was not impressed!
-
Mina is lovely. I wouldn't have known how smart bunnies are until I owned a couple of them. They're wonderful pets.
Warm Regards,
Janet
Comment from gypsycaravan
Excellent job. I was thinking how creative to center a horror story around two little bunnies and then you popped the surprise of the whole thing being the turmoil inside Dean's mind. Fabulous twist. Glad I didn't read that it was a contest entry before I read the story or I would have know what was coming. Terrific piece of spagless writing, too.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
|
Excellent job. I was thinking how creative to center a horror story around two little bunnies and then you popped the surprise of the whole thing being the turmoil inside Dean's mind. Fabulous twist. Glad I didn't read that it was a contest entry before I read the story or I would have know what was coming. Terrific piece of spagless writing, too.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
-
Thanks for the review. This was really fun to do. Glad you enjoyed it
Comment from Genya
This was brilliant. Sure I read somewhere that Dean was going to write a story about little bunnies. Guess you got into his brain with this one. Sure you two weren't born in the same pea pod? The suspense throughout was brilliant. At first I thought water ship down and the bunnies got away. Then I read Inside the mind of Dean and thought...no. Great entry for this contest. Lots of deep dark horror,.." Prefer happy endings and little bunnies escaping and eating flowers in the sunlit meadows...but then you wouldn't be inside his mind. Loved it. Great story. Genya
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
|
This was brilliant. Sure I read somewhere that Dean was going to write a story about little bunnies. Guess you got into his brain with this one. Sure you two weren't born in the same pea pod? The suspense throughout was brilliant. At first I thought water ship down and the bunnies got away. Then I read Inside the mind of Dean and thought...no. Great entry for this contest. Lots of deep dark horror,.." Prefer happy endings and little bunnies escaping and eating flowers in the sunlit meadows...but then you wouldn't be inside his mind. Loved it. Great story. Genya
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
-
Thank you very much for reading and your comments. There have been some great competitions recently and this was a fun one to do! Much appreciated
Comment from olliebuster
I think the concept of inanimate things and private thoughts coming to life is such a brilliant way to conjure up stories. As the final lines said, "you'll never be done with it". When a howl comes to life and darkness becomes embodied, there is no escape. This concept is well thought out. There is a concern though, Alice is constantly referred to as "he". eg. "Alice was wearing white. He lay..... Should it be she lay? "His front paws". Should it be "Her front paws"? Apart from that, an imaginative concept. Olliebuster
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
|
I think the concept of inanimate things and private thoughts coming to life is such a brilliant way to conjure up stories. As the final lines said, "you'll never be done with it". When a howl comes to life and darkness becomes embodied, there is no escape. This concept is well thought out. There is a concern though, Alice is constantly referred to as "he". eg. "Alice was wearing white. He lay..... Should it be she lay? "His front paws". Should it be "Her front paws"? Apart from that, an imaginative concept. Olliebuster
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
-
Thanks for the review but Alice is actually a male rabbit. A white rabbit. There is a reason for the names of the rabbits within the confines of the story and beyond. Glad you enjoyed it.
-
That explains it. Olliebuster.
