Love Remembered
contest entry53 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I want to know what happened next! Post the next chapter THIS coming Christmas.
Why was Ranger Rick looking David up? I admit I'm tired, so may have read right past it! Did you win the contest?
Loved the story. :-) and I like reading cold, snowy Christmas stories when it's brutally hot and humid out, always have!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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I want to know what happened next! Post the next chapter THIS coming Christmas.
Why was Ranger Rick looking David up? I admit I'm tired, so may have read right past it! Did you win the contest?
Loved the story. :-) and I like reading cold, snowy Christmas stories when it's brutally hot and humid out, always have!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
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Hi, Sue
Thanks for the great review! This sort of tanked in the contest, but I still like the story. I planned it for a one time post, though some others thought it could be fleshed out. I'll consider you in the latter category. It's a project that may bear more fruit down the road.
I really appreciate your generosity and support!
:) Bev
Comment from bhogg
A very nice Christmas story, well told. Learned something about being a friend with Bill W. There was a little disconnect with starting with Curtis who ultimately didn't seem a part of the story. Bill
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2014
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A very nice Christmas story, well told. Learned something about being a friend with Bill W. There was a little disconnect with starting with Curtis who ultimately didn't seem a part of the story. Bill
Comment Written 26-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2014
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Thanks much for the review. I think Curtis sets up the scene, as I intended, by showing that even close friends can be uncomfortable with those who are dealing with grief, even more at the holidays.
Take care,
Bev
Comment from Diny
THe first part about the driver isn't needed at all.
I went back and read some of your responses and other reviewers to get a feel of the background...
You need to show us why he would even consider inviting them. WHo he is to the family would have made a big difference in how we saw the grief the awkwardness etc.
Your story starts within the house of the family on Christmas eve. Love the story of taking in the AA sponsor- great one-
Write on-Di
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2014
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THe first part about the driver isn't needed at all.
I went back and read some of your responses and other reviewers to get a feel of the background...
You need to show us why he would even consider inviting them. WHo he is to the family would have made a big difference in how we saw the grief the awkwardness etc.
Your story starts within the house of the family on Christmas eve. Love the story of taking in the AA sponsor- great one-
Write on-Di
Comment Written 26-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2014
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Thank you.
Comment from MelB
Good story, holds your attention throughout. Leaves the reader wondering what else he wants to tell them. As the mom and son are trying to figure out whether to let him in the house, you also are trying to figure out what you would do in the situation. Nice gesture from the mom and son she let him spend the night and help them cut down a tree
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Good story, holds your attention throughout. Leaves the reader wondering what else he wants to tell them. As the mom and son are trying to figure out whether to let him in the house, you also are trying to figure out what you would do in the situation. Nice gesture from the mom and son she let him spend the night and help them cut down a tree
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your generous review. :)
Comment from Ben Colder
I saw no editing mistakes. It reads well and interesting. I get the strange feeling I have read this writer's work before. It is a very unique style. Merry Christmas .
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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I saw no editing mistakes. It reads well and interesting. I get the strange feeling I have read this writer's work before. It is a very unique style. Merry Christmas .
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Thank you, Ben, for your most gracious review. :) Bev
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Writingfundimersion,
It's a nice piece of Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple and matching with the theme.
Conversational approach is praiseworthy. During 1st 2/3rd part, flow remains very slow, but since the entry of Richard Riley, it picks up nicely and becomes captivating up to the end.
Good Luck!
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Hello Writingfundimersion,
It's a nice piece of Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is simple and matching with the theme.
Conversational approach is praiseworthy. During 1st 2/3rd part, flow remains very slow, but since the entry of Richard Riley, it picks up nicely and becomes captivating up to the end.
Good Luck!
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your review, RP.
Comment from Charley489
Well written -
One minor edit:
Why are you making me do this? I'm tired, and all I want's a couple of beers, a hot shower, and a warm bed.
Should want's be edited to want is?
Also would a mother and son become so trustful to the stranger that quickly? Perhaps offer the spare bedroom but hide/secure something of value to show building trust?
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Well written -
One minor edit:
Why are you making me do this? I'm tired, and all I want's a couple of beers, a hot shower, and a warm bed.
Should want's be edited to want is?
Also would a mother and son become so trustful to the stranger that quickly? Perhaps offer the spare bedroom but hide/secure something of value to show building trust?
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2014
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Thanks for sharing your insights, Charley. I appreciate the time you took to read and review my story in such a generous way.
Bev
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always nice when people can open up their hearts and homes to a stranger in need. Not always safe, but in this case, I don't think they have anything to worry about but learning more than they want to know. Thanks for another fine story. Best Wishes for a Merry Christmas! And, the Happiest of New Years!
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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It's always nice when people can open up their hearts and homes to a stranger in need. Not always safe, but in this case, I don't think they have anything to worry about but learning more than they want to know. Thanks for another fine story. Best Wishes for a Merry Christmas! And, the Happiest of New Years!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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Thanks so very much, Ric, for your gracious review. I appreciate it very much. A very merry Christmas to you, as well. :) Bev
Comment from yachtworknz
had morphed into the size and substance of snowflakes since his leaving the plant a half hour earlier, and his headlights reflected patches of black ice.
I think this should be a second sentance- half hour earlier. His headlights reflected patches of black ice.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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had morphed into the size and substance of snowflakes since his leaving the plant a half hour earlier, and his headlights reflected patches of black ice.
I think this should be a second sentance- half hour earlier. His headlights reflected patches of black ice.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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Thank you.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, writingfundimension, I enjoyed reading it, but I am confused. was the man in the beginning her husband's boss? I didn't see where he came into the story. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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this is an excellent write, writingfundimension, I enjoyed reading it, but I am confused. was the man in the beginning her husband's boss? I didn't see where he came into the story. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2014
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Thanks for your review, Sweetwoodjax.
The man was David's boss, the opening goes to showing how close friends can be reluctant to be around people who are grieving.
:) Bev
