When I was Younger
A daydream of my youth.5 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a wonderful poem about your younger days. Subtle nostalgic references throughout are endearing. Especially like, "The smell in the air was fresh lilac
Just a pinch behind my ear." Life was simpler when we were kids. There are some perks to aging, though. We don't care so much what others think which gives us a sense of freedom. I see you became a member in November 2014, welcome to FanStory.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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This is a wonderful poem about your younger days. Subtle nostalgic references throughout are endearing. Especially like, "The smell in the air was fresh lilac
Just a pinch behind my ear." Life was simpler when we were kids. There are some perks to aging, though. We don't care so much what others think which gives us a sense of freedom. I see you became a member in November 2014, welcome to FanStory.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments and generous rating.....and the warm welcome. I think I love it here.
Comment from seaglass
That is an awesome picture with wonderful composition. The poem is good too and brings back memories of doing those same things. I can't touch the floor anymore.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2014
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That is an awesome picture with wonderful composition. The poem is good too and brings back memories of doing those same things. I can't touch the floor anymore.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your comments and generous rating.
Comment from granny goes viral
Oh this is both funny and a little sad. Like aging I guess.
Have to fan you. I think we might have stuff in common. Alas, aging female being one of them.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2014
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Oh this is both funny and a little sad. Like aging I guess.
Have to fan you. I think we might have stuff in common. Alas, aging female being one of them.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2014
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Thanks again for reading my work, and thanks for the rating. Yes, I think we may have some stuff in common.
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I have read through your work. Have made comments. Please feel free to do the same. I write daily. (Because I have nothing else to do). And read at poetry readings. I am looking to publish a chap book. Not too swift on the computer yet. Ha ha.
Comment from Walu Feral
Great work and I know exactly how you feel mate. It takes me all day to do what I used to do all day. I enjoyed it and I wish you good luck and success in the contest. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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Great work and I know exactly how you feel mate. It takes me all day to do what I used to do all day. I enjoyed it and I wish you good luck and success in the contest. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your comments and generous score.
Comment from adewpearl
trees scrapped the skies - scraped
good alliteration in scraped the skies
good alliteration and assonance in yearned for yesterday
solid use of abcb rhyming
good descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
you incorporate the contest's required words well
this is a blind contest, but you've signed your name
Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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trees scrapped the skies - scraped
good alliteration in scraped the skies
good alliteration and assonance in yearned for yesterday
solid use of abcb rhyming
good descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
you incorporate the contest's required words well
this is a blind contest, but you've signed your name
Brooke
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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Thank you for your comments (and for catching my misspelling) and thank you for your generous scoring.
