It Only Takes One--Yes
Short Story22 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
Great story, but how in the world do you think up all these great laughable names. I really like the plot you've centered around Longfellow. Very creative.
Love this line:
"just went Lindbergh without a plane, splatt."
one suggestion;
"full Gaynor off the sixth'--if this is meant as the "dive", it is spelled "gainer"
Terrific piece of writing AGAIN.
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Great story, but how in the world do you think up all these great laughable names. I really like the plot you've centered around Longfellow. Very creative.
Love this line:
"just went Lindbergh without a plane, splatt."
one suggestion;
"full Gaynor off the sixth'--if this is meant as the "dive", it is spelled "gainer"
Terrific piece of writing AGAIN.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was a delightful piece - shades of Lewis Carroll. Given the Carroll element it is, perhaps, pernickety to consider facts. But I find it unimaginably unlikely that a publisher would send an advance cheque (sorry check!) before receiving the signed contract. But Humpty bleeding Dumpty to that.
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I thought this was a delightful piece - shades of Lewis Carroll. Given the Carroll element it is, perhaps, pernickety to consider facts. But I find it unimaginably unlikely that a publisher would send an advance cheque (sorry check!) before receiving the signed contract. But Humpty bleeding Dumpty to that.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from giraffmang
I enjoyed this piece very much.
Lost or delayed mail. what a bummer with catastrophic results. The title had me thinking it was going to be a more uplifting tale! Maybe for Barney.
It is a shame you did not enter it for the competition. A lot of the prompts seem to not be well supported which is greatly limiting what is available on the site, especially for new writers.
Gareth
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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I enjoyed this piece very much.
Lost or delayed mail. what a bummer with catastrophic results. The title had me thinking it was going to be a more uplifting tale! Maybe for Barney.
It is a shame you did not enter it for the competition. A lot of the prompts seem to not be well supported which is greatly limiting what is available on the site, especially for new writers.
Gareth
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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The problem with the prompts is that everyone complains about the same old tired prompts, 5-7-5 funny animal and this and that, yet, those always fill up. I sponsered a contest a month ago: a fanstory movie parody. Pick a movie and write a parody using fanstory situations. It has three entries and needs five. It's about to roll over again for another two weeks. The other problem is, your fans don't see contest entries. So, you end up with four reviews and if you don't win you spent an extra 5.50 for nothing. It's been a problem since I've been here. I enter everything, but I liked this and I wanted my regular people to read it. mikey
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Hi Michael, I can see what you mean. You can have a great bit of work that maybe no one will see unless you spend double to promote it!
I try to enter what I can. being new, I guess, some of the prompts don't seem too tired. I think people choose 'blind' entry competitions to even the playing field.
I recently entered a prompt and did a bit of work looking at reviews etc of all participants. The contest was not blind. The top 3 positions were filled with people who had massive fan lists. This does seem to be a trend.
I don't know what the answer is to this but I would certainly consider sponsoring different types of prompts / challenges if the cost was lower.
It is a tad ironic that on a site for creative writers, there is a lack of creativity in what they are offered to write about!
Sorry, didn't mean to go on so much.
I really liked your piece, and read it as soon as I alerted as I know I am going to be entertained! So I fully see your point.
All the best
Gareth
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Barney put his hand over the pocket where the letter was. "The writing is coming good, coming good. In fact, I just came up with a great idea for a story. I'll be in Reader's Digest before you know it." Seriously, adverb, this was one of the funniest, imaginative story I have heard in a while. I smiled the entire time I read the post. Oh, Barney snickered him. They story was told to perfection. I don't know what sparked this idea, but it is smoking. This could happen to us, for Pete sake. Poor lass' he never received his check and royalties. What a shame, what a pitty. I did not see any SPAG issues, truthfully, I was not looking for it, wrapped up in a good tale. That typewriter resembles the one Jack Nicholson used in 'The Shining.' Or, the one James Caun wacked Kathy Bates with, in 'Misery.' This was one cock-a-doodle poem. Looks like a beauty. Count your doubloon. spook-a-doo, boo...
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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Barney put his hand over the pocket where the letter was. "The writing is coming good, coming good. In fact, I just came up with a great idea for a story. I'll be in Reader's Digest before you know it." Seriously, adverb, this was one of the funniest, imaginative story I have heard in a while. I smiled the entire time I read the post. Oh, Barney snickered him. They story was told to perfection. I don't know what sparked this idea, but it is smoking. This could happen to us, for Pete sake. Poor lass' he never received his check and royalties. What a shame, what a pitty. I did not see any SPAG issues, truthfully, I was not looking for it, wrapped up in a good tale. That typewriter resembles the one Jack Nicholson used in 'The Shining.' Or, the one James Caun wacked Kathy Bates with, in 'Misery.' This was one cock-a-doodle poem. Looks like a beauty. Count your doubloon. spook-a-doo, boo...
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014
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Hey. Thank you very much. I was going to enter this in the contest, but I thought it was pretty good and I wanted my peeps to read it. That's the drag about the contests, your regulars don't see most of your stuff. You hit on every point I was hoping would get noticed. YES, that was the kind of typewriter I was looking for. Ha! This makes my night! Gracias senor do loco perfecto, esta amigo bastante bien! How's that? A decent Spanish sentence!! Miguelito Poetico
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Hello, Mikey, I got a language translation site. Free Translation. com Merry Christmas and a happy new year! spook-a-doo, boo...
Hallo, Mikey, ich habe eine Übersetzung vor Ort. Freie Übersetzung. com Frohe Weihnachten und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr! The Spook-a-doo, boo ...
German. Some of my novel will be in German.
cheers -- Later Lion King, Später König der Löwen
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Look up what Kennedy said at the Berlin wall for fun. The translation is hilarious. Ich bein eine Berliner. I think that's it. It wasn't quite what he thought it was...
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I leg a Berlin. Is that right?
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I think I may have it spelled wrong. He meant to say, I am a Berliner as in I am a citizen of Berlin. But a berliner is a frankfurter or hot dog. So he said, I am a frankfurter!
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Ich bin ein Frankfurter! That is, I am a frankfurter! That is what it just translated.
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That was one of the most dramatic moments in history!! Kennedy standing on the Berlin Wall reassuring the citizens that they wouldn't be forgotten. He thought he was saying, "I am a Berlin-er (person or citizen like you)". He was saying he was a hot dog. Hahaha.
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That is funny. It's easy to get mixed up, especially when you are drunk. In Japan, I was in a bar... I thought they were saying cow-pie, which I thought meant cheers in Japanese. Compie means cheers. I was wondering why them Jap hores were mocking me, laughing. Finally, a Jap told me it was compie -- not cowpie. Think... later that night I stumbled into an Japanese only sign. I was too drunk to read the sign. I got some mean stares as I crashed the party. I got the hell out of there! I was alone. Yep, Mikey , that is a funny story. I may look it up on You Tube. Under? Kennedy's speech at the Berln wall, i guess.
Comment from Sankey
Good one mate. Exciting enough and stupid enough haha I didn't mind it not being the story about the Priests and beasts and all that. Hey no spags! Wadda ya no!
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Good one mate. Exciting enough and stupid enough haha I didn't mind it not being the story about the Priests and beasts and all that. Hey no spags! Wadda ya no!
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sad story, but very well done. The poem was good, too. But then you're a superb poet, as well as a terrific story teller. If I had a six left, I'd slap it on this in a second. Bravo! :)
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Sad story, but very well done. The poem was good, too. But then you're a superb poet, as well as a terrific story teller. If I had a six left, I'd slap it on this in a second. Bravo! :)
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from Gloria ....
Great job, Mikey. Reality-based fiction doesn't get any better than this, even if it makes me just a little more cautious around the creative types. You just never know how creative they're actually gonna get setting up a scenario.
Got quite a few laughs out of this lovely write.
Gloria
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Great job, Mikey. Reality-based fiction doesn't get any better than this, even if it makes me just a little more cautious around the creative types. You just never know how creative they're actually gonna get setting up a scenario.
Got quite a few laughs out of this lovely write.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Entertaining is what it is, Mikey. I agree, not a mystery, nor a crime. But it is darkly humorous, ironic.
I liked the touch about the fleck of grit striking Ace's forearm. That was inspired, I'm sure.
The whole thing was a hoot!
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Entertaining is what it is, Mikey. I agree, not a mystery, nor a crime. But it is darkly humorous, ironic.
I liked the touch about the fleck of grit striking Ace's forearm. That was inspired, I'm sure.
The whole thing was a hoot!
Comment Written 18-Dec-2014
Comment from amada
Barney the cop is an observant man, like a good writer needs to be. Your short story here grabbed my attention right away, sort of sadistic in a way for good old Mr. Longfodder.
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Barney the cop is an observant man, like a good writer needs to be. Your short story here grabbed my attention right away, sort of sadistic in a way for good old Mr. Longfodder.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
Comment from nor84
He remained with the pen still offered and the clipboard at the ready to receive Mr. Longfodder's signature.>>>>I'm not fond of 'he remained with the pen...'. How about: He continued to offer the pen and held the clipboard at the ready.
Hell's ringing bells, boy, what makes you think the sender is even above ground?">>>great dialogue. I'd cut 'boy' from this sentence, because he said it in the previous sentence: Hell's ringing bells, boy, what makes you think the sender is even above ground?"
As a Doubleday author, you may submit work (only to) to only Doubleday
Mentioning Pringles along with Lindbergh and the Hindenburg sort of stands out. Lindbergh was 1920, the crash of the Hindenburg in the 30's and I'm not sure when Pringles came out... so the time frames didn't seem to fit. But nobody but me would notice. Couple of little comma problems. One where the guy says "I see..." and there's a comma. Should be "I see. (next sentence.)
Very good story. Why did he think the envelope had been on the Hindenburg? Speaking as a stamp collector, if the 'cover' had markings to indicate that, it would have been worth quite a bit of cash to a cover collector. Maybe the guy was just being facetious.
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He remained with the pen still offered and the clipboard at the ready to receive Mr. Longfodder's signature.>>>>I'm not fond of 'he remained with the pen...'. How about: He continued to offer the pen and held the clipboard at the ready.
Hell's ringing bells, boy, what makes you think the sender is even above ground?">>>great dialogue. I'd cut 'boy' from this sentence, because he said it in the previous sentence: Hell's ringing bells, boy, what makes you think the sender is even above ground?"
As a Doubleday author, you may submit work (only to) to only Doubleday
Mentioning Pringles along with Lindbergh and the Hindenburg sort of stands out. Lindbergh was 1920, the crash of the Hindenburg in the 30's and I'm not sure when Pringles came out... so the time frames didn't seem to fit. But nobody but me would notice. Couple of little comma problems. One where the guy says "I see..." and there's a comma. Should be "I see. (next sentence.)
Very good story. Why did he think the envelope had been on the Hindenburg? Speaking as a stamp collector, if the 'cover' had markings to indicate that, it would have been worth quite a bit of cash to a cover collector. Maybe the guy was just being facetious.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2014
