Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Exceptional

Dean, that was so beautiful, so unlike your normal. I read it the way RG, would read it, slow and aloud, with the passion that the poem deserves, and it was wonderful! You must write more of these. :) Sandra xsx

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, Sandra, but I'll probably stick to the darker stuff from now on. The opportunity to write a Rondeau appeared in a contest, I botched the first attempt miserably and was subsequently disqualified from the contest. I pulled it, rewrote the poem then presented it here, for general reading. I'd already spent all the certs on it to get it up the ladder, so I thought, What the heck'. LOL...

Thanks so much again for your kind and thoughtful review, and for the exceptional rating as well. :)

~Dean

Comment from acerisestory

Exceptional

Lovely, Dean! I'm very excited that you've written a "non-horror" poem. A very nice change. Your words are well chosen to describe the pain of losing a wife. These two lines are especially heart rending:

"detached soft strands of silken hair,
all that remains as thou aren't there --"

I very much like the repetition of "my solemn oath to thee"

Wonderful rhyming and solid use of alliteration throughout.

Well done, my friend and absolutely deserving of a six. Take care. Alana

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Aw, thanks, Alana. You are very kind, my friend. I totally screwed this format up initially, then had to go back and completely redo it. I'm very glad you enjoyed it, most sincerely. :}

Thanks again. ~Dean

Comment from arnie47

Excellent

This was simply beautiful and extremely thoughtful and tender. An expression of true love and kindred spirits. Great job.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks you, Arnie, and I appreciate that. I'm very glad you enjoyed reading this.

Dean

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

don't put yourself down, this is a fab piece of poetic art dear dean! it actually reminds me of the betrayal of my best friend who kissed my boyfriend right in front of me. they both broke my heart. i love my friend but am not sure if i can forgive her. sod the guy.
thank you for sharing this delicate piece!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, rebekka, and I appreciate your kindness. But, as one of the first reviewers who gave me a three star rating told me, it would be best for me to stick to what I know rather than trying to expand my horizons.

I believe I'm going to take his advice.

~Dean

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Dean you definitely have a niche. I don't know that it's horror you do...because it's too clever for that..you make us think..it's horror meets mind...and mind wins...
God bless..I like this

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank, jenny, and I appreciate that. But, I think I'm through with trying to "branch out" and do new forms. I think I'll just stick with what I know...scaring the beejeepers outta folks.

Thanks so much for your encouraging review, however. I do appreciate it! :} ~Dean

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

I was disqualified in this. Didn't dot the tees and cross the eyes, it seems.
This seems very nice, although Steve's spoof on Rondeaus won the day in a one horse field.
Your moving reminisce of love departed is touchingly rendered. Lovely imagery abounds and your rhyming is great. Your structure looks ok , but remember I break rules.
Lovely poem, even if you slipped a dead person in.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Mark, but after a scornful, gloating and spitefully scathing three star review from Steve, I decided to rewrite this and resubmit it for general reading. I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate you having a go at this one.

Thanks again! ~Dean

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Good for you in trying out new forms, Deano.

I find the occasional old-fashioned phrase irritating and pretentious, but your use of the oldy lingo THROUGHOUT works brilliantly and adds to the sad theme's atmosphere.

Excellent meter and rhymes.

Top enjambment, and clever touches of alliteration throughout.

I don't know why I wasn't notified of this one, so I'm glad I checked your portfolio.

Cheers, Ray

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Ray, and as you know I often use the old world lingo in much of the poetry I write. I think the language has such a romance about it, I find it moving and deeply beautiful.

You weren't notified because this was supposed to be a contest entry for the Rondeau Poetry contest, but it was disqualified, and justifiable so, so I rewrote it and resubmitted it for general reading.

Thanks for taking a look-see at it for me. I appreciate that!

~DeanO

reply by Domino 2 on 15-Dec-2014

It's a shame you were disqualified, Deano, but I see you've won TEN contests in the last 30 days - brilliant, and a great return on investment, too.

I see Mikey won the 'orchid' contest. Now, there's a surprise. MEEOW! :-)

Cheers, mate.

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Hah, yeah, quite a surprise, huh, LOL?

I've won that many in the last thirty days? I hadn't even realized I'd entered that many in that time period. Must have been due to all of the compelling new prompts. Anyhow, I really appreciate your opinion, as always, my friend. I wrote this thinking of my wife, and you know the situation there...

reply by Domino 2 on 15-Dec-2014

I've only won THREE in DOUBLE that time, Deano, though I comfort myself in the belief that most voters are morons or arse-lickers when I don't do well. HAHA!

I'm still very sad about your marital situation, my kind and talented friend.

All the best to you, Ray.

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

To you as well, Ray. :}

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Oh, by the way. Did you see where Rain Knee Daze (Rainy Days) won the Poem of the Month contest? I'm sure it won't be posted on the front page as it is for everyone else, just as my winning the Horror Story Contest that this site sponsors went completely unacknowledged. It seems to happen quite frequently to me here.Heh-heh...

reply by Domino 2 on 15-Dec-2014

I'm sure 'Tom' considers who spends the most REAL money, and he sucks up to them, Deano.

He fucking hates me, as I've given him so much grief over the last seven years. :-)

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

He hates me too, Ray, believe me, LMAO!

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

Well, this proves you can write more forms well than just horror. (And, of course, this romantic likes the romantic better.) You did still manage to slip in some well-placed ghosts on the pillow-top. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Jeanie. You just know I had to sneak some elements of the supernatural in somewhere, at point, right? LOL.

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Dean, you pull off romance poetry quite nicely. I, myself, don't care for the doth's, thy's, thou's etc. but hey whatever works for you:)
Teresa

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

I wanted it to have a Shakespearean feel, or an old world air about it. I appreciate your review, Teresa. I love old world English. I think it's so beautifully romantic. Perhaps I simply did it wrong?

Who knows.

reply by TAB_that's me on 15-Dec-2014

Oh, I think you did it right, I just don't care for old world English. It's just me:)

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Not a Shakespeare fan then, I take it. heh-heh...

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Dean,

I like the overall feel of sadness, loneliness in the words for the loss of his love, which you reveal in your words.

I truly believe good poetry has more to do with the emotion it evokes, not always in the so-called 'proper structure.' Not sure what prompt this was for, but it just doesn't matter-----this is good, my friend!

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*;*)

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Jax. This is a rewrite, as I'd completely messed up the first attempt and got disqualified (that's twice in two days!) from the contest. I hope I got it right this time out, though I think I'm through with these fuc&@ng contests. I'm tired of throwing all my money away. I work far too hard to get it.

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 15-Dec-2014

I hear you. The few I've entered is so nerve-wracking.

What's really bad is waiting, waiting, the nine days of voting when I've had a chapter in one of my books nominated for Book of the Month. UGH! I've come in 2nd and 3rd, but never 1st. Always the bridesmaid but never the bride!! LOL

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

You'll win it yet, Jax. I know you will. :)

reply by Jacqueline M Franklin on 15-Dec-2014

Thx! (*.*)

Hey, Congrats on winning Poem of the Month! Mr Fuzzy served you well, Buckeye!

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thnaks, Jax! :)