Comment from Kingsrookviii

Excellent

Hi Dean. I disagree with your inclination to retreat back to JUST your usual playground! LOL Don't get me wrong, I love all of your work. But, this is very good my friend.
This is difficult stuff and you've done a fantastic job. To write in the archaic is difficult, but words come easy and strongly to you. I applaud this poem and you for stretching. Great, great poem. Take care. Bruce.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Hey, Bruce. What's new, my friend?

It was suggested to me by the very first reviewer of this poem that I should probably stick to things I know, and stop trying to write these difficult structured poems that are so-o-o-o-o far above my head intellectually. I've never claimed to be a poet, but what I do claim to be is someone who knows human emotion, and would never tear someone down or belittle someone to make myself look better. I would also never dissuade someone from branching out, trying to expand upon their horizons.

To me, that's just dirty pool, if you know what I mean.

That being said, I do appreciate the indepth review you've given me here, and your very kind comments.

I truly appreciate it. :)

~Dean

reply by Kingsrookviii on 15-Dec-2014

Right on! I am telling you Dean, that you have hit upon EXACTLY the truth. Poetry (good) must be moving. You've done and always do, just that. You see, I've attempted a lot of these and had some turn out well, while many are lacking, However, it's all about the attempt. That's how we grow, my friend. I rarely give anyone below a four. But, I read mostly stuff I like and will pass on if there is something I don't like, unless I have something constructive to add. Take care. Bruce.

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Bruce, and I agree one-hundred percent, my friend. By the way, I just reviewed Flush Covey, Free. Loved it! ;)

Dean

reply by Kingsrookviii on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks! Appreciate that.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Well Dean it really does look like your horror muse has taken himself/herself off for a break.

I like this poem it is both very sad and very beautiful, with well chosen words to express the deep emotions felt.

Well written, well done
Mary

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, Mary, I'm very glad to know that you enjoyed it. Your review is very kind and encouraging. :)

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Your first stanza flirts with the horrific in word choice - faint ghosts adorn thy pillow top- but really, with silken hair being all that is left on the pillow, you create a deep longing and loss. She has passed and is unattainable atop the mountaintop until he joins her in a paradise of endless summer. Beautifully done.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks, Ed, and you're right on in your assessment as always. I'm not very adept at this type of poetry. I feel like a skinned polar bear in the Arctic in writing it. But, i thought i would give it a shot, and after two rewrites, this was it.

Thanks again for the kind review. I really appreciate it.

~Dean

Comment from skye

Excellent

The form fits the mood, with its repeating end rhymes and sad melody that carries the reader into the pain of loss and love.
Excellent. Great art choice.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, skye. I very much appreciate you reading and reviewing this work. I'm truly grateful for your kind and thoughtful comments.

~Dean

Comment from Tatarka2

Excellent

I thought this was a beautiful poem, and I admire you for trying out this difficult form. It was a lovely tribute to your wife, so lyrically expressed, and as such I think it merits an "excellent: review.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you very much, Tatarka. I sincerely appreciate your kind and very thoughtful review. ~Dean

Comment from Leineco

Exceptional

What a gorgeous rondea! Such poignant sadness and grief, yet wrapped in heartfelt hope and faith. The imagery painted in the opening stanza (so starkly clear) followed by the declaration of devotion in the second stanza dovetail beautifully into the averred oath in the final stanza.
Meticulous composition Dean!

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, Lorraine, and it looks much different now than it did when it was first written. I completely misunderstood the example given and was subsequently disqualified from the Rondeau Poetry contest. So, I rewrote it as you see it now, with a couple of more "tweaks" along the way.

I'm very happy you enjoyed it. I don't do romance very often. It's been suggested that perhaps I should stick to what I know; the spookier, darker things in life and beyond.

Much appreciated, my friend. :)

~Dean

reply by Leineco on 15-Dec-2014

Well whoever suggested that has tunnel vision! This was beautifully done :-)

(I didn't get mine tweaked soon enough for the deadline, so I'll just hold it until a new prompt comes up . . .I'd have lost to this one for sure though! LOL)

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

You'll get 'em next time, Lorraine!

Thanks again. :)

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

I will admit - I was waiting for a ghostly hand to disembowel the author, but am glad it ended the way it did. Lovely words - poignant rendering. Your choice of the dark background and artwork belie the true romance and loss of love in your poem. Nicely penned Deano. Jean

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, Jean. I realize I stepped a bit out of my league in trying to compose a Rondeau initially. They are somewhat...tricky.

Thanks so much again, my friend.

<3

~Dean

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Just beautiful, I love this form, I think your writing is wonderful, no matter what form it takes...'my solemn oath to thee'...haunting....even it a love poem, you bring a ghostly beauty!

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thank you, Irish Rain. That is very kind of you to say. I don't do romance nearly as well as the horror and darker stuff, but my heart was fully into this one, I assure you.

Thanks again for your very thoughtful review. ~Dean

reply by Irish Rain on 15-Dec-2014

Christmas Cheer to you...this is a beautiful gift to all of us!

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

And a very merry Christmas to you and yours as well, my friend. :}

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

There is a feeling of love in your words and there is also a feeling of sadness. Faint ghosts adorn thy pillow top is a line that draws the reader into the poem. Ghosts is an excellent word that gives the feeling of loss and missing a loved one. Excellent use of words.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks you, mermaids, and that is very nice of you to say. I'd decided to try this format but messed up my first attempt horribly, as my first reviewer was quick to point out. So, I rewrote it after it was disqualified from the contest, and presented it here, for general reading.

I'm so happy to know that you enjoyed reading it.

~Dean

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

This is a lovely poem Dean and unusual in content for you. No ghouls and monsters. You write these love poems really well and most heartfelt. Hope it's fiction! LOL. I like the Olde English way you have written this - except perhaps 'dost drop' - perhaps 'doth drop' rolls off the tongue better. As always beautifully displayed. You always put much detail into your work. I wish I knew how. Warm regards and blessings - Dorothy x

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014

Thanks you, Dorothy, and I've taken your kind suggestion and made the necessary changes. No, no ghouls or monsters lurking in this write, just ghosts of the things that once were.

Thanks so much again for your warm and thoughtful review. I do appreciate it very much. :}

~Dean