Comment from faragon

Excellent

I like this one. I like how you have conveyed his anguish over loosing his wife and his longing for her. This was tastefully written.

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2014

Thanks you, Jane, and I'm gald you enjoyed this kinder, more gentle side of my normally vicious muse, LOL.

Much obliged, my friend. :)

~Dean

Comment from Treischel

Exceptional

This is an outstanding romantic poem to a lost wife as felt at the edge of the funeral's coffin. I loved the switch from five to four , then back to five lines. That gave the piece a strong valance. The rhyming: aabba bbaa aabbb was a superb choice. Using only two rhymes was a very fine touch. I enjoyed the touches of Elizabethan to add some class. Nice alliteration in: soft strands of silken, beg thee, bid.
This is excellent poetry

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014

Thank you for your exceptional rating, Mr. 'T', and I apologize for the lengthy delay in responding. it doesn't mean that I appreciate it any less, especially coming from a poet of your caliber.

Much obliged, and Merry Christmas to you & yours!

~Dean

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

The a and b lines are in good form, but the refrain line is not taken from the first four syllables of your opening line of the opening verse. Read in Flanders Fields and We Wear the Mask as models :-)
I like the personification and the vivid detail of setting and the alliteration :-)
compelling expression of emotion :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

In Flanders Fields...I'll check that out, Brooke. I believe I've read it before, but it was so long ago. Thanks!

Comment from evilynne

Exceptional

Horror may be your thing, but this work is quite beautiful and touching. It is well written, as always. As always, I am at a total loss when it comes to poetic forms. To me, it just reads well and flows nicely. This particular work has new meaning to me in view of the recent loss of my son-in-law. Evi

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss, Evi. You and your family have my deepest condolences.

I appreciate your review, especially in light of what you must be going through. Again, I will keep you & your family in my prayers, my fried.

~Dean

reply by evilynne on 19-Dec-2014

Thank you for your words of kindness. I finally found your reply. I had to go bacak to the old FanStory!

Comment from linsbm

Excellent

Your title is interesting to catch the eyes of readers. At first the poem started with the feel of horror, but it's not. Excellent rendition of this poem in the abstracts of language and unique presentation. Thanks for sharing.} Lin

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

Thanks for reading and reviewing my work, Lin. As always, I appreciate everyone who does. :}

~Dean

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

Just because someone is not with us in body anymore, doesn't necessarily mean they are not with us. Dean, this is beautiful. Well done.
Have a great day.
Christelle.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks so much, Christelle. I couldn't agree more. :)

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

Good love poem with good word flow and good rhyming. It tells a beautiful story of thoughts about a love. Good job, I enjoyed it very much. A Solemn oath is very good.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks very much, GWinterwin. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :)

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

The picture is very haunting. A poem of longing and suffering done with such eloquent language. Nice rhyming, sounds great read aloud. Wonderfully crafted. Les

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks a bunch, Les. As always, I appreciate it. :)

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Well, Dean I'm not familiar with the rondeau but to me this reads very, very well. I don't even mind the thees and thous which can on occasion get my tail feathers in a spin. But in this situation it works perfectly.

Good for you for branching out in your style because your poem still has an element of horror within its structure, so it's not shocking or anything. GASP

Lovely poem!

Gloria

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks very much, Gloria. I think the old, archaic English form is very poetic in itself, and adds rather than detracts to a piece if used properly.

Thanks again for your wonderful comments. :}

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

I haven't written any poetry for ages, Dean, so I'm a little rusty. No, make that a lot rusty! But I enjoyed this very much. I thought it was a heartfelt lament for a lost love. Also beautifully presented, Giddy

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks so much, Giddy. I am so happy to know that you enjoyed it. :)

~Dean