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Let's Talk Dirty!

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Karen's story"
The story about three women who need to make money

10 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Goodness me! Karen's life isn't much better, is it. I like the way you are introducing your characters and their problems, singularly. We get to know them better this way. :) xsx

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2015
    That's what I hoped, although it makes the first few part-chapters a bit miserable! Never mind, as you now know, the humour is just around the corner!
Comment from G.B. Smith
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Poor Karen. He life like you wrote as she knew it was in the dumps. She seems to be on the verge of being a drunk. This girl wrote the book on anger as well. Hopefully she'll find herself. Great chapter Louise
Bear

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
    Sorry to take so long to answer this wonderful review, Bear, but I've had a few days off while friends were visiting. Thank you so much for your encouragement and fab six stars. The two I've just posted might amuse you! Alexis xxx
Comment from rwilliam
Excellent
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You really have me connected to Karen and feeling for her. It keeps me wanting to read more. Fingers crossed it gets better for her.

Wondreful job!

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2015
    Karen is a wonderful character, although a bit of a nightmare at the start! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to catch up with my latest ramblings! Alexis
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
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Desperation and abandonment at the age of fifty-six with the insult of being 'A fat, alcoholic cow,' is about as bad as it can be. Can it get worse? Yet, I have a feeling she'll survive. You're setting up an interesting situation here. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
    This, sadly, is how one of my pals was left after nearly thirty years of marriage. I intend to write a retribution she would be proud of! Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent
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Dear BC - Karen seems to have been duped big time. Haven't we all, will be interesting to see her find her inner strength and search for her success outside of a man. I liked this one. Great writing my friend.
Thanks for sharing.
WC
Xx

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2014
    Karen is quite a lady and yes, she faces up to her demons and becomes stronger - without a man! Have a good day, WC, I'm thinking of you. XXX
Comment from Curly Girly
Excellent
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Karen is not in a good situation right now, and youth and time are not on her side either. Drinking is not going to help her make progress. I am waiting to see what unfolds.

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2014
    Glaswegian women are known to like their drink just as much as the men, so this has been easy to write because I've known a few a few women just like her (my late husband and I ran a couple of bars!) Hopefully, she'll see the light. Thank you so much for your review. Alexis xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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I think she was taken advantage of by a slick Lawyer. If the husband had an affair and left her for another woman shouldn't he have to pay child support and sometimes alimony? Fifty six is late in life to hope for a new career. Poor Karen I feel for her. Nancy

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2014
    Don't worry, I'll make sure she survives! Thank you for reviewing again. The new stuff should start on Monday. Alexis xxx
Comment from Julia.
Excellent
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This was well-written, easy to follow, and I noticed no particular problems with SPAG. It took me a bit to figure out that this was set in the U.K.. Is that correct? I thought I detected some "British-isms" :) Perhaps the setting is addressed in a previous chapter? I haven't read the others as I found this on the "Up Next" reviewing.

I didn't find myself liking Karen very much, and I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. Not taking antibiotics for a serious infection, drinking instead, and not changing the locks to keep out an ex- seem like foolish or weak actions. Was she meant to be a sympathetic character? Perhaps she changes as the book goes on?

Finally, and a minor nit, but this--"the salty droplets"--stands out as over-written. You could probably just say "them" and be fine.

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2014
    The salty droplets have now gone! Yes, Karen is not very likeable in the start. She became complacent after twenty-five years of marriage, and now she wants to blame everyone but herself because her husbands left her.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, I'm not sure dropping in on a book is the most helpful review, but we've been down this road before, and your work is always so good, it seldom needs more than praise anyway! *smile* (Good to 'see' you, my friend!)

Two tiny things I spotted -

1) end of third paragraph - (Yeah) right - typo - missed the "a" in yeah
2) "Now that time was imminent, (and) she had..."

AS usual, excellent description, authentic character (yes, I could tell even from one chapter - *grin*), great pacing and a wonderfully strong narrative 'voice'.

Looks like another winner to me!

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2014
    Hello! I'm so glad you did drop by, otherwise I wouldn't have known about my 'yeah' being a bit floppy! Thank you so much for the encouraging and helpful review. Alexis x
Comment from Muffins
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter is at times lyrical without every being naive or bitter. For now, Karen views her world in a grotesques manner. Life has through her some hard curve balls and by her own thoughts,"Life as Karen knew it was about to fall apart, and there wasn't a damned thing she could do to stop it happening..." But as we all know life is funny and steers you towards a direction you never thought to take.

Karen is a character who sticks with the reader longer after reading the chapter. In addition her internal dialogue, thoughts gives the reader a meaty view into her life now and in the pass. A first class chapter that keeps up the interest stared in chapter 1.


 Comment Written 10-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2014
    On the face of it, Karen isn't very likeable to start with. She's bitter, verging on being alcoholic, risks her health, and obviously eats too much which has resulted in her gaining fifty unwanted pounds. Hopefully, the funny, beautiful and very witty character that's lurking under all those hang-ups will start to emerge. Fingers crossed! Thank you so much for your lovely review. Alexis x