"OUT OF THE BLUE"
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "~The Awakening~ part 4"A book of short stories.
12 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Did I see a news article about the discovery of the remains of Richard III? eg women e.g., women? Rousing tale of battle in the age of chivalry. Excellent.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2014
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Did I see a news article about the discovery of the remains of Richard III? eg women e.g., women? Rousing tale of battle in the age of chivalry. Excellent.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2014
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Thank you LlJ Red, for your kind review. :) Mel..
Comment from Eric1
Hi WHB, Thoroughly enjoying this absolutely wonderful tale of Richards battle with his old enemy Henry, the story being told here is as authentic as one could possibly get, you have stringently kept within the history rules which is what makes it so enjoyable!
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Hi WHB, Thoroughly enjoying this absolutely wonderful tale of Richards battle with his old enemy Henry, the story being told here is as authentic as one could possibly get, you have stringently kept within the history rules which is what makes it so enjoyable!
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Thank you Eric, yes we can surmise a fair bit about the circumstances surrounding the Battle of Bosworth. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my write. Greatly appreciated. :) Mel.
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Looking forward to the next already Mel.
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So nice of you to say that, my friend...
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 2 of the book "OUT OF THE BLUE" "~The Awakening~ part 4" This is another excellent chapter in your great 'Richard' story. The perfect description of the battle that took his horse was binding. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Chapter 2 of the book "OUT OF THE BLUE" "~The Awakening~ part 4" This is another excellent chapter in your great 'Richard' story. The perfect description of the battle that took his horse was binding. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Thank you chasennov, for your kind review... :) Mel.
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You are most welcome, Mel.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
This is a good write and has a well written storyline. The story flows well and the imageryalong with the picture blends with the story. I enjoyed reading and found noreason for changes. Thanks Mary
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2014
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This is a good write and has a well written storyline. The story flows well and the imageryalong with the picture blends with the story. I enjoyed reading and found noreason for changes. Thanks Mary
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2014
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Thank you Mary for your kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed the read and took the time to stop by. Much appreciated. :) Mel.
Comment from Genya
Another good chapter in this story. I loved the action, the fighting scenes and the telling of the story. Nice to see the girls still in the story as it reminded me what this story is all about. Really gripping story and very well written. Look forward to the next part. Genya
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Another good chapter in this story. I loved the action, the fighting scenes and the telling of the story. Nice to see the girls still in the story as it reminded me what this story is all about. Really gripping story and very well written. Look forward to the next part. Genya
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Hi Genya, I'm so pleased you are following the story. Yes I have tried to keep it as authentic as I can. As always I greatly appreciate your review... :) Mel.
Comment from thee-name
Good story. Could follow writing good.
FIGHTING STARTED IN EARNEST ABOUT THE EIGHT HOUR, WHEN
PIKE MEN ON HENRY'S RIGHT FLANK ADVANCED US SKIRTING A LARGE
PATCH OF MARSHLAND.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Good story. Could follow writing good.
FIGHTING STARTED IN EARNEST ABOUT THE EIGHT HOUR, WHEN
PIKE MEN ON HENRY'S RIGHT FLANK ADVANCED US SKIRTING A LARGE
PATCH OF MARSHLAND.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Thank you so much for your kind review. :) Mel.
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THANK YOU!
Comment from padumachitta
Hi...well, I like it. I like reading historical type fiction(I guess it is the only way I get history:-)
I like the set up to this and the word choice.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Hi...well, I like it. I like reading historical type fiction(I guess it is the only way I get history:-)
I like the set up to this and the word choice.
padumachitta
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Thank you padumachitta, for your kind review. :) Mel.
Comment from Michaelk
You've gotten me so interested in this story I may have to bookcase it. Excellent battle scene descriptions. Not so heavy on detail that it becomes tedious, yet clearly showing exactly what happened. Once again I had to remind myself of the overall situation. You did a good job of interjecting the women to remind us readers of what was really happening. Unfortunately I know that he dies because I am rooting for him to make it through the battle and destroy his enemy.
Excellent job. Excellent chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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You've gotten me so interested in this story I may have to bookcase it. Excellent battle scene descriptions. Not so heavy on detail that it becomes tedious, yet clearly showing exactly what happened. Once again I had to remind myself of the overall situation. You did a good job of interjecting the women to remind us readers of what was really happening. Unfortunately I know that he dies because I am rooting for him to make it through the battle and destroy his enemy.
Excellent job. Excellent chapter.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Thank you Michaelk, I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story.
Yes, so much has been learned from his remains and this has overturned some traditional views about him and confirmed others.
Extensive character profiling has been completed by two experts. This I shall delve into in a future part.
Kind regards my friend. :) Mel.
Comment from c_lucas
Wars have changed over the years. At this time it was still individuals fighting individuals. The Long Bow was coming into its own. Very well written.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Wars have changed over the years. At this time it was still individuals fighting individuals. The Long Bow was coming into its own. Very well written.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Thank you Charlie, yes this was a time of change Richard was the last of the warrior Kings. :) Mel.
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You're welcome, Mel. Wasn't this the time the Crossbow came into being? Charlie
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Hi Charlie, the crossbow came to England with the Normans in 1066. We always favoured the longbow with its much faster rate of fire.
By the time of Bosworth the cannon was in general use. Richard is known to have been fond of them. And had them carted from the Tower of London to Bosworth. I read somewhere that he had 400 matchlocks or similar type in his army. :) Mel.
Comment from Jay Squires
THe content was intriguing, well-written and entertaining. You maintained a fine pace.
Structurally, I had to deduct a star for the SPAG. Four or more and I deduct. However, I do give you back your star as soon as you let me know you've made all the corrections. Of course this doesn't apply to British spelling.
Only a small patch of marshland separated us ; [Extra space before semicolon]
"Ahhhh!" His grunt of effort acompanied a 'swish' sound [effort accompanied >> unless it's a Brit spelling thing.]
I had no time to despatch them. [time to DISPATCH them.]
Separated, we were on our own . [Extra space after "own".]
In normal times it would be merciful to end it's suffering. [to end ITS suffering.]
With my mount laying on it's side [Two errors: With my mount LYING on ITS side.]
So, let me know when you've made the corrections.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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THe content was intriguing, well-written and entertaining. You maintained a fine pace.
Structurally, I had to deduct a star for the SPAG. Four or more and I deduct. However, I do give you back your star as soon as you let me know you've made all the corrections. Of course this doesn't apply to British spelling.
Only a small patch of marshland separated us ; [Extra space before semicolon]
"Ahhhh!" His grunt of effort acompanied a 'swish' sound [effort accompanied >> unless it's a Brit spelling thing.]
I had no time to despatch them. [time to DISPATCH them.]
Separated, we were on our own . [Extra space after "own".]
In normal times it would be merciful to end it's suffering. [to end ITS suffering.]
With my mount laying on it's side [Two errors: With my mount LYING on ITS side.]
So, let me know when you've made the corrections.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2014
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Thank you Jay, I've seen to those errors. You are right about the spelling. These I checked with the Oxford dictionary and have corrected them. The altered spacing looks wrong on my screen but perhaps it is different on yours. Keeping the alignment correct on the titles is a constant problem.
As always I thank you for your time my friend. :) Mel.
