Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Running For Their Lives!"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
14 total reviews
Comment from Green Lake Girl
A very exciting chapter, Mikey. What dangerous times. What is poor Julia's fate; might she exit this lifetime?
One suggestion: "The solider turned coldly." Not sure what you mean here. I stumbled on this sentence and re-read it a couple of times. Did he turn toward somebody and say something in a cold tone?
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A very exciting chapter, Mikey. What dangerous times. What is poor Julia's fate; might she exit this lifetime?
One suggestion: "The solider turned coldly." Not sure what you mean here. I stumbled on this sentence and re-read it a couple of times. Did he turn toward somebody and say something in a cold tone?
Comment Written 08-Dec-2014
Comment from Gargantuan2
Good segment, but with one possible correction:
She starred into his eyes
She stared into his eyes
I know girls can be starry-eyed, but I don't think that was what was intended. Until next time :)
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Good segment, but with one possible correction:
She starred into his eyes
She stared into his eyes
I know girls can be starry-eyed, but I don't think that was what was intended. Until next time :)
Comment Written 08-Dec-2014
Comment from CR Delport
OH no! I hope Julia just stumbled and wasn't hit by one of those fool arrows. That's the problem with these priests. They get so caught up in their own importance that they forget their true purpose. Another great chapter.
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OH no! I hope Julia just stumbled and wasn't hit by one of those fool arrows. That's the problem with these priests. They get so caught up in their own importance that they forget their true purpose. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from Sasha
Awesome chapter. You kept me riveted to my chair from beginning to end. I hate it when you leave me hanging and waiting to know what happens next. Fortunately, there is one more chapter posted for me to read.
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Awesome chapter. You kept me riveted to my chair from beginning to end. I hate it when you leave me hanging and waiting to know what happens next. Fortunately, there is one more chapter posted for me to read.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
The battle has begun. The group is separated. Julia is injured. Cassius will not leave her. Valerius is right behind her. Perhaps he can help save her. I think maybe she is meant to be captured. Great work.
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The battle has begun. The group is separated. Julia is injured. Cassius will not leave her. Valerius is right behind her. Perhaps he can help save her. I think maybe she is meant to be captured. Great work.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from seaglass
Ah man! You need to write more fast. This is a tense place to leave us hanging. I know these characters have to dies...just keep dreading it.
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Ah man! You need to write more fast. This is a tense place to leave us hanging. I know these characters have to dies...just keep dreading it.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Now you have us all on the edge of our seats and we have to wait! Excellent chapter, depending on the outcome!! Excellent characters and story. Faye
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Now you have us all on the edge of our seats and we have to wait! Excellent chapter, depending on the outcome!! Excellent characters and story. Faye
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Your story is getting intense...good and evil. Is Julia ok or is she guarded by the wolves? Is Leopold going to fall into a hole and disappear by his own demons or GOD? The others see the truth of this ill priest. I like how you tied up the soldiers. .. maybe, they will refocus on who they are serving, good or evil? the good will triumph and celebrate a victory!
Very well written. Enjoy your advent season. flylikeaneagle
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Your story is getting intense...good and evil. Is Julia ok or is she guarded by the wolves? Is Leopold going to fall into a hole and disappear by his own demons or GOD? The others see the truth of this ill priest. I like how you tied up the soldiers. .. maybe, they will refocus on who they are serving, good or evil? the good will triumph and celebrate a victory!
Very well written. Enjoy your advent season. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
Please don't let them kill off Julia. Valerius is on the way to save her.
Suggestion:
"She starred into his eyes deeply."--'starred' should be 'stared'
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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Please don't let them kill off Julia. Valerius is on the way to save her.
Suggestion:
"She starred into his eyes deeply."--'starred' should be 'stared'
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I never get that right. I should just stick with gazzzed!! I'm madly in love with Julia. But, that's the only hint I'll give! mikey
Comment from Jay Squires
As always a tension filled chapter.
A body, no doubt Rastavius, laying in the field unattended. [LYING in the field...]
accuses and derides those that have saved his life. [...those WHO have saved...>> "that" for inanimate, "who" for animate.]
Her and the old witch. [She and the old witch is accurate, but this is dialogue.]
Oh-oh... the one you didn't want to see die? Dang it, man!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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As always a tension filled chapter.
A body, no doubt Rastavius, laying in the field unattended. [LYING in the field...]
accuses and derides those that have saved his life. [...those WHO have saved...>> "that" for inanimate, "who" for animate.]
Her and the old witch. [She and the old witch is accurate, but this is dialogue.]
Oh-oh... the one you didn't want to see die? Dang it, man!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2014
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I had lying. Hahaha. If it's dead isn't it laying? Hell, I can't get it. I can't believe I let a "that" through!!! I do a specific "that" edit. I thought "she" didn't sound like real live talkin'. Maybe not. It all depends on the next line. :) You know I love Julia more than even Valerius does!! mikey
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You'll have to fight me for her!
