Reviews from

Vision and Sound: Their Stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Cicero Arrives With Soldiers"
Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.

14 total reviews 
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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Each post evolves into a more interesting scene. Now, will they see the insanity of Leopold and move to better doctrine, or will this turn into the scene that takes our characters to their next life?

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Good work mate except the old MIkey and his Spag brigade hehe has returned maybe the soldiers brought them haha! Where ya bin mate? Did the new Format frighten you off? Talked to a few we all hated it. As I said the Editing thing was the only reedeeming feature. Now the Spags.

side of the rode.(road)

He didn't threaten(-ed),

cho(o)se to follow or stay.

I put up (Promoted)my Book of Poultry the Vain Peewee is the intro to it. Have a look I know you have seen smoe of these way back as stand alones.

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 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
    This thing went straight to print. Hahaha. No preview mode. With the change it didn't have it marked so it went through before my final edit. Good excuse number seven! I'll check that out. Glad to have our old FanStory back. The new one looks quite a bit better today. The posts look beautiful, but still a pain to get around. I have both screens up. I'll keep you posted if it gets manageable. mikey
reply by Sankey on 04-Dec-2014
    Thanks mate had a heap of complaints in response to some of my responses to fans and memebers reviews about it. Poor old Tom I am sure it was hard work.
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Leopold seems to be the religious lunatic. If it ain't explainable, in those dark days, it is a demon. Guess they thought mental illness was people with demons. Ignorance in those days beyond belief. You choose yours words carefully. I'm almost stuttering as I mock their language. I have no clue how Italians spoke during this age. My Abi Word detected these minor errors, which you may, want to correct.

acknowledgement -- acknowledgment;drop the e says Abi word but I believe it can be spelled both ways, it appears. Verbs and adjectives check out. Well done! Fantastic job done grammar wise. It reads professional. I see no flaws worthy pointing out. Intriguing story. Give you points for creativity and substance. I see no flaws. Count your doubloon, Sir Mikey Cahill.


 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
    Thank you Sir Wacky One! Did you go back to classic? I checked out the new style and it's getting better. The posts sure look pretty awesome I must admit. I have to download that Abi thing. I'm getting towards the end of this section. Gotta start rolling some heads. Hahaha. Great review. I appreciate the encouragement a lot. And I loves de jewels. Arrrggghhh!!!!!
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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The story is moving inexorably toward its conclusion. The reader can feel it building to a head. Only you know the specifics of what will happen.

A minstrel, huh?

"How many soldiers?" Valerius showed no emotion." [Remove quote after "emotion".]

Blood stained both he and Julia [...both HIM and Julia >> Blood is the subject, HIM and Julia are the objects. Leave out Julia. You wouldn't say, "Blood stained he."]

He didn't threatened, [He didn't THREATEN.]

A minstrel ... hmmmm.









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 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
    This didn't go into preview mode. Hahaha. I was doing my "Jay" edit and caught a couple of those while you were reading! I'm getting better. No "thats"!!!! I fear the conclusion. I don't want to kill anyone I like! Why can't life be delusional like my mind??? mikey
reply by Jay Squires on 04-Dec-2014
    You had to say that about killing someone you like. Be delusional. That way you'll be the only one to live with it. I love your characters too much too!