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Vision and Sound: Their Stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Still Seeing Demons"
Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.

17 total reviews 
Comment from nordicgirl
Excellent
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Yes! Been waiting a long time. They were given every opportunity. They chose evil and now they read their rewards. Maybe Cervantes can be redemed. Excellent chapter.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2014

Comment from emrpoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great that Leopold was blinded and sent Rasty to hell
A thrilling chapter and as usual with good use of eloquent language. Will continue to follow

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2014

Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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I hate being left hanging...and you do it so well. Very frightening chapter. Leopold is hopeless...will someone please put him out of his misery...PLEASE!!

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2014

Comment from ProjectBluebook
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Note: I'm using Abi word. Wow! x ten. Abi word did not detect one single red line. Except for names, but they always redline names. Nothing queer. I am amazed how you did not have one error. And this looks and reads fantastic. I loved this chapter. You evolve with each chapter. No Literary Agent would frown about this. This is well written, Professional. I author notes are a life saver. Job well done. Count your doubloon Sir Cahill. Five plus one equals?

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2014

Comment from seaglass
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This captivated me. I have a feeling it wasn't a loving angel who collected his soul.Even though he recognized his error regarding Julie, he refused to ask forgiveness for the murders he's committed.

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014

Comment from flylikeaneagle
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Michael: I ran out of tens...Very well written. Maybe, Leopold will repent. Eyes to see even blind, what is his anger about, not very priestly. Certvantes is seeing the truth. He is young enough to really seek truth in people.

Will the soldiers help Valerius and the group when they hear the truth of the priests?

Love the passion kiss and Trevelitas comment...LOL. He needed a time out break.

Keep writing..my Favorite story. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014

Comment from Loren (7)
Excellent
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Your stories and your writing just keep getting better and better. I've been away from the site for a while and will continue to be so, but wanted to stop by and try to do some catching up. Glad I was able to see this and give it a read, makes me curious as to what I've missed. Loren

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014

Comment from Joe_P
Excellent
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The story progresses well. You have a real page-turner. Keep up the great work.

Notes:

1. Starting with the sentence, "His eyes rolled back in his head..." to the end of the paragraph: I was confused about whether Cervantes or Restavius was speaking and whose eyes rolled.

2. At the beginning of the next chapter, will Cicero see the priest's carriage and offer his perspective or observation (in the form of dialog or action)? If not, you might want to add that at the end of this chapter.

Joe

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014

Comment from nelliesellie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Leopold saw demons even after he was blind. Rastavius began to see the error of his ways, right before he died. Cervantes is convinced they are wrong. But Cicero is on his way with soldiers. The danger is increased. The group will be accused of killing the priest if they are caught. Great work.

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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Great scene, Mikey. I felt like I was there with them. I love that you blinded Leopold and sent Rasty to Hell. They got what they deserved. Bravo! And the kiss was nice, too. :)

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2014