Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This is a well done free verse with much to recommend its viewpoint, considering the state of the world and the political scene. Good luck to you, Jeanie

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Thanks, Jeanie - Glad you liked this real vs unreal free verse poem. It's been a long time since I've tried writing a free verse. Appreciate your thoughts. Cheers ... ;o) Art

Comment from Blue.Sapphira

Average

Two sides of coin: reality and dreams. Written up to the point and with less words.

But would like to add a few things:
beginning words initial capital, necessary comas, semi colon, and full stop please.
It helps the reader to read and understand the meaning of your work and also conveys the expression.

Otherwise the meaning of contest has been conveyed aptly

All the best for the contest judging.


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 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Thanks. Appreciate your comments. Note - in Free Verse, anything goes and punctuation is often thrown out the window. But, will take another look. Cheers ... ;o)

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

A little bit of fantasy
a dose of harsh reality
a whirlwind of gains and losses
and a gut wrenching drop
into consequences. . .

you've taken us
on quite a ride!

:-) Totally enjoyed the read :-)

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the read and the ride in this real vs unreal free verse poem. I had some fun writing it. Appreciate your comments. Cheers ... ;o)

Comment from lakeport

Excellent

Check's in the mail, indeed that's a very heartfelt expressed story poem.Very nice flow, I enjoyed reading it,God bless you.Lakeport,

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Thanks Lakeport - Glad you enjoyed this real vs unreal free verse poem. i had some fun writing it. Appreciate your comments. Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers .. ;o) starkat

reply by lakeport on 27-Nov-2014

you are welcome,Lakeport,Happy Thanksgiving

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Hi Starkat. It seems ages since I have read any of your poetry. This is excellent. The imagery is amazing such as
memories
of perfumed gardens
cascading waterfalls
starlit skies
candlelight dinners
fine wine
and you
Very well done and good luck.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Thanks, Wendyanne - Glad you enjoyed the imagery in this real vs unreal free verse poem. i had some fun writing it.
Appreciate your comments. Cheers ... ;o) starkat

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Thanks for entering, Art.

I think you mean, 'cheque's' (TWICE), rather than, 'check's', though I could be missing a double-meaning clever play on words. :-)

Maybe also, 'your' pet cows' in 3rd last line

I though 'cow farts' were already taxed - hey, the government's misses a big earner there.

Great fun roller-coaster of fantasy nonsense (in the best way). I really enjoyed it, my friend.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray.





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 Comment Written 26-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2014

Hi Ray - Thanks for creating the contest though I almost didn't enter it because of so many 'no's'- I had a great picture of cows I wanted to use.

Yep, there is a double meaning in the word "check" - Over here we don't spell 'check' (that piece of paper we pay bills with) as 'cheque', at least I've never seen it done. "cheque" is a french word, right?

Thanks. I added the 'r' on that 3rd last line so it now spells 'your.

The global warming freaks over here really are counting all the farmer's cows and planning to charge the farmer $100 per cow per year because they say the cow farts contribute to global warming. Real scientists don't agree. Costs like this will be passed on to the consumer. This is government overreach - they also want to tax every pond and puddle on private property. We want and need government to go away and find something else to do.

Glad you liked this roller coaster fantasy nonsense. I had some fun writing it.

Appreciate all your comments. Cheers ... ;o) Art