House Just Bought
Please read notes...and well the poem too....49 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Can't fault the free verse, admire your idea, and wish you the very best of luck. Oh, spell check your notes. Fivers for poem and idea.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Can't fault the free verse, admire your idea, and wish you the very best of luck. Oh, spell check your notes. Fivers for poem and idea.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. padumachitta
Comment from Jay Squires
I didn't know you wrote poetry, Padumachitta. It helped lift the corner on your dreams, hopes, fears, the stuff of all homeowners.
The notes seemed tacked on--forgive me--but without the care of the poem. It satisfied the need of filling in some of the unpoetic details, so I treated it the same.
Geeez! Good luck with your remodeling.
Non-Violent Communication(re:Larry Rosenburg) [Space after Communication]
I want to be offer meditation and writing retreats(I have done these in the past). ["ABLE TO"? offer >> space after "retreats"]
tradesmen that we can work with. [One of those "thats" you can get rid of.]
In the first paragraph of the notes you need to fix the spacing.
I ask, those who pray [No comma after ask]
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I didn't know you wrote poetry, Padumachitta. It helped lift the corner on your dreams, hopes, fears, the stuff of all homeowners.
The notes seemed tacked on--forgive me--but without the care of the poem. It satisfied the need of filling in some of the unpoetic details, so I treated it the same.
Geeez! Good luck with your remodeling.
Non-Violent Communication(re:Larry Rosenburg) [Space after Communication]
I want to be offer meditation and writing retreats(I have done these in the past). ["ABLE TO"? offer >> space after "retreats"]
tradesmen that we can work with. [One of those "thats" you can get rid of.]
In the first paragraph of the notes you need to fix the spacing.
I ask, those who pray [No comma after ask]
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Hi Jay.
Thanks for the review and tips. You are right about the notes. I put them in after, in case some one needed the info. I have cleaned them up and put them in the 'note box'. I think that is a better place for them. Thanks for that!
I am a poet first and a prose writer second. (My profile has more poems than prose--at least up until the last few months)I only started writing prose seriously since Feb.this year(and only on this Site)
During a college Literature class,(1985) the Prof, completely dismissed me as a writer because my grammar was not to his standard. As I result I became to scared to write stories or prose of any kind.(It was a bit brutal) I also quit college, 1985 was the last time I wrote anything in paragraphs:-) It was a young heart that got wounded. It was also stupid as I had a chance to publish my poems and walked away from that as well. I think I was shattered, youth being youth does over react:-)
I wrote poetry and stand up comedy stuff on and off for years after that. However, I never did anything with it.
Anyway...I want to write and I want to learn. So, I need all the tips and comments as I can get. I really appreciate you and your care. Sorry this is so long. But, I figured you might be a little curious about where I wrote from...I hope it is ok...
padumachitta
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You can write a whole book of replies and I'll read it. I love your prose. I would have to read more of your poetry before saying I like your poetry more. I love especially the exactitude of your description. You enable the reader to eavesdrop perfection!
Comment from JPilcher
Absolutely love how you formatted this!! It makes it what it is, as you already know, obviously!! One of my favorite lines (there were many!) would have to be:
b e t w e e n
Signing the contract and the money changing hands
I mean, how brilliant is that?! SERIOUSLY!! BRAVO & good luck with the house!!! :) Jill P.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Absolutely love how you formatted this!! It makes it what it is, as you already know, obviously!! One of my favorite lines (there were many!) would have to be:
b e t w e e n
Signing the contract and the money changing hands
I mean, how brilliant is that?! SERIOUSLY!! BRAVO & good luck with the house!!! :) Jill P.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Hi Jill. Wow thank you for a gold star day! I am so pleased you caught the feel of this. And thanks for the well wishes. padumachitta
Comment from Dean Kuch
A house without books is like a room without windows. I read that once...somewhere. I can't recall where. Nevertheless, if there's love there, inside your house -- despite the moldy walls, ancient heating systems and flaws -- then it will truly become a home. Knowing you, and the person I perceive you to be, I don't foresee any problems there.
Of course, thanks to houses, a great many of our memories are housed, and if the house is a bit old or elaborate, if it has a cellar and an attic, nooks and corridors, then our memories have refuges that are all the more clearly delineated. All our lives we will come back to them in our daydreams. A psychoanalyst should, therefore, turn his attention to what goes on inside the house, rather than what goes in it.
Great stuff, as usual, padu.
You and your house have my sincerest prayers for success.
~Dean
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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A house without books is like a room without windows. I read that once...somewhere. I can't recall where. Nevertheless, if there's love there, inside your house -- despite the moldy walls, ancient heating systems and flaws -- then it will truly become a home. Knowing you, and the person I perceive you to be, I don't foresee any problems there.
Of course, thanks to houses, a great many of our memories are housed, and if the house is a bit old or elaborate, if it has a cellar and an attic, nooks and corridors, then our memories have refuges that are all the more clearly delineated. All our lives we will come back to them in our daydreams. A psychoanalyst should, therefore, turn his attention to what goes on inside the house, rather than what goes in it.
Great stuff, as usual, padu.
You and your house have my sincerest prayers for success.
~Dean
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Hey Dean...thanks for the review. It isnot one of my better poems. But, I posted it so my 'pen friends' would know what the heck was happening. I joke with my partner that allthe horror I am writing at the moment is my own 'new house owner terror'!
One thing about having a house,for me, is the space to have my books. I will start buying second hand and only use the Kindle for travel. we have been living in bascially one room apartments for the last 8 years. So, not much space for my beloved books.
Thanks again for always being in my corner.
padumachitta
Comment from justjo66
You have written this whole concept of buying a home so well. It's exhilarating, crazy, tiring, endless hoping and then you get it and it's work,, work. The rewards are worth it. I wish you well with your new home. Enjoy.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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You have written this whole concept of buying a home so well. It's exhilarating, crazy, tiring, endless hoping and then you get it and it's work,, work. The rewards are worth it. I wish you well with your new home. Enjoy.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. padumachitta
Comment from joeruptak
Very well written I think you could have shortened this quite a bit and got the same results the read was good but not great. One more thing seems like quite a few people are using dark background this is very difficult for us old geezers to read. I am going to make it a point to find some other things you have written
thank you for a good but difficult read
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Very well written I think you could have shortened this quite a bit and got the same results the read was good but not great. One more thing seems like quite a few people are using dark background this is very difficult for us old geezers to read. I am going to make it a point to find some other things you have written
thank you for a good but difficult read
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Hi.Thank you for the detailed review. I have lightened the background.(I agree with you, I had thought it was was lighter than it turned out...so that is fixed). I will edit it and shorten it in the next few days, I wanted it to kind of 'perk' and then I'll skim the good stuff.
I have written much better pieces, this is more a bit of information, as people have been asking about how my house hunting has been going. Please try to read ...Loving Into Old..I will look at your profile and pcik something to read:-)
thanks padumachitta
Comment from mikemagine
First, I'm sorry to hear of all the trouble...all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope that somehow, someway, this works for all of you!
Your poem really expresses your frustration and cares. Poetry is so very often a great outlet! I encourage you to keep writing and don't give up hope!! It's rough going now, but do all you can to preserve your dream!
Peace,
Mike
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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First, I'm sorry to hear of all the trouble...all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope that somehow, someway, this works for all of you!
Your poem really expresses your frustration and cares. Poetry is so very often a great outlet! I encourage you to keep writing and don't give up hope!! It's rough going now, but do all you can to preserve your dream!
Peace,
Mike
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hey Mike. It will be an adventure and at the end a home. I am hoping to be able to offer a place for people to have a safe place to rest from the world for a while. things like writing weeks...where writers can come and be supported(and keep the costs to a bare minimum...most writers retreats cost an arm and a leg..so my vision is food costs plus a donation...)
thanks again,
padumachitta
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This is a very cool idea, Padumachitta. I sure hope it works out! Yes, food costs plus a don. is a great idea!
Peace!
Mike
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Hey Mike. Thanks. Mom goes into the clinic today. Her anxiety and depression is not lifting and she is over 70...mostly she needs 3 square meals a day and someone to talk to...and...(she is bi polar and the warmest, nicest, woman I have had the pleasure to know...and the fuc+ing desease takes her away...)
Urgh...I figure you would understand the stress and pain of all of us.
The house is a stress, but a bright hope..and a place we hope to be able to have a suite built for her.
thanks for reading this long answer...
padumachitta
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Sure thing:-) Sorry to hear about your mom. Yes, I too am bipolar...I definitely understand the difficulties...
Yes, I'd keep looking at the long-term goal to temper the problems.
Blessings for all of you! I hope and pray that this works out:-)
Mike
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Congratulations Paddy on your new acquisition. It already sounds like more that just, a piece of property, but reads like an adventure, a project, and hopefully, a resort of types. I feel the love. Good luck, I wish you the most. Kenny
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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Congratulations Paddy on your new acquisition. It already sounds like more that just, a piece of property, but reads like an adventure, a project, and hopefully, a resort of types. I feel the love. Good luck, I wish you the most. Kenny
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Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hey Kenneth. Thanks for the review. Hopefully it will be a retreat or seminar center, a small one for up to 10 people. Mostly, it will be a home, that people can come and rest in...and maybe swing a hammer:-) We have no money, but we have heart...
padumachitta
Comment from Nosha17
I wish you well. having been in similar situations in my life, older houses are problematic in some respects but still worthwhile. I am sure it will work out, lentils are healthy anyway! I spotted 2 wee errors, verse 4, it knows. Verse 10 line 3, lie by the fire. Enjoyable read. Faye
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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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I wish you well. having been in similar situations in my life, older houses are problematic in some respects but still worthwhile. I am sure it will work out, lentils are healthy anyway! I spotted 2 wee errors, verse 4, it knows. Verse 10 line 3, lie by the fire. Enjoyable read. Faye
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hi Faye. Thanks for the review. I lived and worked on a 300 year old farm, turned Buddhist women's retreat centre just outside of Whitchurch Shrop. Now that was a life long project! I lived thee close to 5 years and everyday was a learning experience...
So...damp I have known and odd things behind plaster I have seen...lordyloo, it was an eye opening for a gal from the west coast of Canada where an old house is 75 years old:-)
we have very very little money, so must do our own work, with the support of tradsmen...we hope.
thanks again
padumachitta
padumachitta
