Lost in Winter's Grey
losing a loved one when your in the winter of life30 total reviews
Comment from acerisestory
You've written a lovely and sad poem about losing loved ones, Tarnished Knight. When I first read it, I thought it might be autobiographical, but it appears to not be. Good!
Your language is very descriptive, and your use of the seasons works very well. Your abcb rhyming is perfect, and I like your alliteration (many/memories; covered/chilling). Your words have a very nice flow. I am particularly moved by your last stanza:
"So I will look at tomorrow
With visions of yesterday
Of blossoming love of springtime
Now lost in winter's grey"
Well done! Thank you for sharing. Alana
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2014
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You've written a lovely and sad poem about losing loved ones, Tarnished Knight. When I first read it, I thought it might be autobiographical, but it appears to not be. Good!
Your language is very descriptive, and your use of the seasons works very well. Your abcb rhyming is perfect, and I like your alliteration (many/memories; covered/chilling). Your words have a very nice flow. I am particularly moved by your last stanza:
"So I will look at tomorrow
With visions of yesterday
Of blossoming love of springtime
Now lost in winter's grey"
Well done! Thank you for sharing. Alana
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2014
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Why thank you so very much Alana I think when we write something your mind goes back to search its memory bank. Though not autobiographical it does have a few of my own past in it as well Just a tad though
TK
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Losing someone at any point in life is heartbreaking.
As we age however, it is often more difficult to cope as we think of our own mortality.
I like the use of seasons, their colours and characteristics, to correlate with the moods of life and loss.
The topic is relevant to all and written with clarity and sadness,.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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Losing someone at any point in life is heartbreaking.
As we age however, it is often more difficult to cope as we think of our own mortality.
I like the use of seasons, their colours and characteristics, to correlate with the moods of life and loss.
The topic is relevant to all and written with clarity and sadness,.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
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Thank you very much Shirley for your kind words
TK
Comment from Treischel
A melancholy reflection on a lost loved one that permeates the mood. Time has not healed the pain, but aging hastens sadness of the mood. Very touching and well written abcb rhymed poem.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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A melancholy reflection on a lost loved one that permeates the mood. Time has not healed the pain, but aging hastens sadness of the mood. Very touching and well written abcb rhymed poem.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Mr T I thank you very much for the time you took to read and comment on this !!
TK
Comment from nomi338
When you lose someone you truly love, the sun is never warm enough, cool breezes no longer cool you. Time stands still refusing to move. Nothing makes any sense. You know that dying is not the answer, and yet youdon't really want to go on living. Such us the nature of one who has suffered loss.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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When you lose someone you truly love, the sun is never warm enough, cool breezes no longer cool you. Time stands still refusing to move. Nothing makes any sense. You know that dying is not the answer, and yet youdon't really want to go on living. Such us the nature of one who has suffered loss.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you Nomi you hit it right on the head with this!!
TK
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi ATK,
This is beautiful in its simplicity. Not a lot of fancy words, just down to earth emotion of what it's like to love and then lose that love.
Death may part the physical sense, but can't part the love in ones heart.
Extraordinary read and presentation.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Hi ATK,
This is beautiful in its simplicity. Not a lot of fancy words, just down to earth emotion of what it's like to love and then lose that love.
Death may part the physical sense, but can't part the love in ones heart.
Extraordinary read and presentation.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 24-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you so very much Jax you kind words and the greenie is so very much appreciated.
TK
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You're welcome. It is a lovely write. (*,*)
Comment from Hawaiian Mermaid
Aloha ATK,
You never cease to amaze me with your special way with words. I really like this even if it is sad. Thank you for reflections of the past.
Aloha,
Hawaiian Mermaid
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Aloha ATK,
You never cease to amaze me with your special way with words. I really like this even if it is sad. Thank you for reflections of the past.
Aloha,
Hawaiian Mermaid
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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I so thank you my pretty mermaid for those kind words HUGS
XXX
TK
Comment from lakeport
Lost in Winters grey, indeed it is heartbreaking losing a loved one. I can relate to that manty times, That's a beautiful and emotional expressed poem,very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you,Lakeport.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Lost in Winters grey, indeed it is heartbreaking losing a loved one. I can relate to that manty times, That's a beautiful and emotional expressed poem,very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you,Lakeport.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much L.P. for taking the time to read this and your comments as well
TK
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you are very welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Nosha17
I agree, it is difficult, but it is nice to have good memories about the loved one. Well chosen words and rhyming to convey your sincere message. I spotted an error, hope you don't mind-the word wrought is a past tense of a verb, not an infinitive (which you need to use after a modal verb 'can') Perhaps you could say, my fear can not be wrought. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I agree, it is difficult, but it is nice to have good memories about the loved one. Well chosen words and rhyming to convey your sincere message. I spotted an error, hope you don't mind-the word wrought is a past tense of a verb, not an infinitive (which you need to use after a modal verb 'can') Perhaps you could say, my fear can not be wrought. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thanks Nosha You know that was the way I had it in the first place then went and changed it darn..Going to make that correction asap
TK
Comment from LIJ Red
That word wrought is not employed properly somehow, and stands out in such a well-done work. I hope you'll unwrought that stanza for something smoother.
I shiver at the thought
of the winter coming on
my heart fills with the dread
of enduring it alone
??
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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That word wrought is not employed properly somehow, and stands out in such a well-done work. I hope you'll unwrought that stanza for something smoother.
I shiver at the thought
of the winter coming on
my heart fills with the dread
of enduring it alone
??
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I am open for ideas send them along would appreciate it for sure
Thanks TK
Comment from mikemagine
Very, very sad poem. This time of year...! Yes, it IS especially bad for those who've lost loved ones...! Your poem is flawless, far as I can tell, and I liked reading it aloud!
Mike
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Very, very sad poem. This time of year...! Yes, it IS especially bad for those who've lost loved ones...! Your poem is flawless, far as I can tell, and I liked reading it aloud!
Mike
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I thank you very much for your kind words and am happy that you did enjoy it as well
TK
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You bet, my friend!
Mike
