Twelve Little Grains of Sparkly Sand
counting rhyme in 8/6/8/6 meter119 total reviews
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck for the poem of month
your words allow the reader to see and feel as they venture with the twelve grains of sand
good imagery
good BB rhyme through out verses
good enjambment through sentences
good alliteration through verses
good use "L" "P" "T" "R" consonance
good use "E" "I" "O" assonance
good use verbs in verses bring alive
good rhythm
flows easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
  |
good luck for the poem of month
your words allow the reader to see and feel as they venture with the twelve grains of sand
good imagery
good BB rhyme through out verses
good enjambment through sentences
good alliteration through verses
good use "L" "P" "T" "R" consonance
good use "E" "I" "O" assonance
good use verbs in verses bring alive
good rhythm
flows easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 06-Dec-2014
Comment from Sanku
Another counting poem from. your gifted pen .You have used sand grains giving them a personality of their own. I liked the ambitious one the best ,who tried to ride with a starfish in the hope of reaching the sky and the other one who walked who made friends with the crab.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
|
Another counting poem from. your gifted pen .You have used sand grains giving them a personality of their own. I liked the ambitious one the best ,who tried to ride with a starfish in the hope of reaching the sky and the other one who walked who made friends with the crab.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
-
Thank you, Sanku, for your encouraging and kind review :-) Brooke
Comment from Delahay
This is a cute and fun counting poem that could be enjoyed by both children and adults. A clever update on the standard "ten little Indians" type of poem.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
This is a cute and fun counting poem that could be enjoyed by both children and adults. A clever update on the standard "ten little Indians" type of poem.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Ward, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from manicblue
A very funny version of the classic poem "Ten Little Indians". Actually, I liked this one much better. Very delightful poem -- I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Lucretia xoxo
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
A very funny version of the classic poem "Ten Little Indians". Actually, I liked this one much better. Very delightful poem -- I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
Lucretia xoxo
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Lucretia, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Curly Girly
A counting poem from 12 down, this was a bit different. An enjoyable beach poem to read. There was good humour in here, and the stanzas were easy to visualise.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
A counting poem from 12 down, this was a bit different. An enjoyable beach poem to read. There was good humour in here, and the stanzas were easy to visualise.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Curly Girly, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from tfawcus
It takes a true poet to animate the silicate! There has to be a willing suspension of disbelief here! It is a nice idea though, focusing on the vagaries that beset just a few amongst millions, and it makes an interesting metaphor. We are as innumerable as the grains of sand on the seashore, yet in numbering ten of them you have started to number them all. The individuals that make up the crowd can be so easily swallowed by it.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
It takes a true poet to animate the silicate! There has to be a willing suspension of disbelief here! It is a nice idea though, focusing on the vagaries that beset just a few amongst millions, and it makes an interesting metaphor. We are as innumerable as the grains of sand on the seashore, yet in numbering ten of them you have started to number them all. The individuals that make up the crowd can be so easily swallowed by it.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Tony, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from mommydear42
There is a familiar tone to this poem. it reminds me of a Christmas gift I've considered for myself...the "kinetic" sand that I've considered which, once upon a time, would have consumed hours of my afternoons when I was small. All of the children I've considered buying it for have younger siblings which could make a mess for mama to clean up. I've even considered buying the sand for my son-in-law, but the dogs would spill it. I guess I'll buy some just for me.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
There is a familiar tone to this poem. it reminds me of a Christmas gift I've considered for myself...the "kinetic" sand that I've considered which, once upon a time, would have consumed hours of my afternoons when I was small. All of the children I've considered buying it for have younger siblings which could make a mess for mama to clean up. I've even considered buying the sand for my son-in-law, but the dogs would spill it. I guess I'll buy some just for me.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
mommydear, thanks so much - hey, you deserve a present too :-) Brooke
Comment from Spitfire
Grains of sand now. Get out the microscopes! Always enjoy how you "murder" each one off. A pail, a sand castle, a starfish (that's my favorite) You sure have a whimsical mind, Brooke. :-)Shari
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
Grains of sand now. Get out the microscopes! Always enjoy how you "murder" each one off. A pail, a sand castle, a starfish (that's my favorite) You sure have a whimsical mind, Brooke. :-)Shari
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Spitfire, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Dutchie
Again a lovely poem, Brooke. I love your imagination and fantasy. Deep inside there still resides that child in you.
I love the way you let dissappear that grains of sand one by one. Well written with great Rhyym and rhyme and such a pleasure to read. Fia
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
Again a lovely poem, Brooke. I love your imagination and fantasy. Deep inside there still resides that child in you.
I love the way you let dissappear that grains of sand one by one. Well written with great Rhyym and rhyme and such a pleasure to read. Fia
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
Fia, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
With snow accumulating outside and Black Friday fast approaching, it is nice to read a twelve counter that has to do with the beach rather than the twelve days of Christmas.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
|
With snow accumulating outside and Black Friday fast approaching, it is nice to read a twelve counter that has to do with the beach rather than the twelve days of Christmas.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2014
-
thanks so much, ravenblack :-) Brooke
