Saving Jill
A quatrain poem about saving a life.34 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
Well done quatrains with rhymed couplets
Good enjambment
I agree when you are down or depressed there is nothing or no one who can help unless you decide to help your self.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Well done quatrains with rhymed couplets
Good enjambment
I agree when you are down or depressed there is nothing or no one who can help unless you decide to help your self.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Exactly!! Thanks for the review too!! <3 Jill
Comment from acerisestory
It sounds like you have started on your journey to save yourself, Jill. Has writing this poem helped you to focus more? I find that about my poetry. It clears my mind.
Your rhyming is is well done, and your words have a good flow. I like your last stanza the best because of the strength you show:
"What a horrific place for anyone to be,
No one even capable of saving me.
But because one has to save oneself
That's why I set out to say myself."
Well done! Best of luck in the contest and with your resolve. Take care. Alana
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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It sounds like you have started on your journey to save yourself, Jill. Has writing this poem helped you to focus more? I find that about my poetry. It clears my mind.
Your rhyming is is well done, and your words have a good flow. I like your last stanza the best because of the strength you show:
"What a horrific place for anyone to be,
No one even capable of saving me.
But because one has to save oneself
That's why I set out to say myself."
Well done! Best of luck in the contest and with your resolve. Take care. Alana
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you & very much appreciated!! As for writing helping me, it used to, back when I needed it that is. Now, it's a means to spread the word for the most part. :) <3 Jill P.
Comment from Glasstruth
Very emotional account. Life is what you make it to be. That's what I feel is the message. Nice rhyming. Reads smoothly. I think if you added as to why you were drowning in tears, it'd help strengthen the poem. Otherwise, a superb write. Les
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Very emotional account. Life is what you make it to be. That's what I feel is the message. Nice rhyming. Reads smoothly. I think if you added as to why you were drowning in tears, it'd help strengthen the poem. Otherwise, a superb write. Les
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much!! Very much appreciated!! :) Jill P.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think you will easily save yourself, Jill, once you set your mind to it. You know yourself better than anyone, and all it takes is to admit you need to be helped, and your halfway there! Love the picture, did you find this one or is it one of yours? It has your name on it! Amazing. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I think you will easily save yourself, Jill, once you set your mind to it. You know yourself better than anyone, and all it takes is to admit you need to be helped, and your halfway there! Love the picture, did you find this one or is it one of yours? It has your name on it! Amazing. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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That pic is definitely me (100%!) & thank you so much for the review!!! ;) <3 Jill P.
Comment from LIJ Red
Title speaks of saving Jill, and verses speak in first person, so speaker must be Jill but no one is saving Jill, she is on the point of saving herself. Sounds good to me.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Title speaks of saving Jill, and verses speak in first person, so speaker must be Jill but no one is saving Jill, she is on the point of saving herself. Sounds good to me.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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You nailed it!! Thanks for the review!!! :) Jill P.
Comment from Nosha17
Self help and self preservation are essential attributes for anyone who wishes to survive in this world. Good use of rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Self help and self preservation are essential attributes for anyone who wishes to survive in this world. Good use of rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Couldn't agree more & thanks for the review!!! :) Jill P.
Comment from Kingsland
Nothing is as bad as it seems, it's worse. But then again everything looks better if you compare your life to starving children. If you get knocked down. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Then start all over again. I really liked the rhythm in this poem. It seems that you have found a better way from the inside out. That is what this poem is saying to me... John
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Nothing is as bad as it seems, it's worse. But then again everything looks better if you compare your life to starving children. If you get knocked down. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Then start all over again. I really liked the rhythm in this poem. It seems that you have found a better way from the inside out. That is what this poem is saying to me... John
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Agree on all counts and yes, you nailed it!! That's exactly what I did!! Thanks for the review - much appreciated!!! :) Jill P.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A good entry for the quatrain poetry contest. Good rhyming couplets. Although the line lengths vary greatly it, nevertheless, reads well. The content is good with a good unexpected ending. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x Love your picture!!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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A good entry for the quatrain poetry contest. Good rhyming couplets. Although the line lengths vary greatly it, nevertheless, reads well. The content is good with a good unexpected ending. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x Love your picture!!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thanks Dorothy!! Much appreciated!!! I agree with the line lengths varying too. In fact, it's been driving me bonkers to just even look at. I considered playing with the structure, but I don't think I can without messing it up. Any suggestions, or is it just something I have to live with? Lol. ;) Jill P.
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Hi Jill - leave it as it is - you will only end up crawling up the wall - Dorothy x If it bothers you you could double up your first stanza, but you'd have to think of 2 more lines to make it a quatrain. x
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That's exactly what I was thinking too!! Maybe I'll do it after the contest. Who knows. Lol. :)
Comment from kanimozhi T
Hi friend,
Very artistic yet simple expression. Pitiful beginning. powerful end.Nice rhythm. But I couldn't make out the title Could you explain, please? Thanks for sharing. All the best.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Hi friend,
Very artistic yet simple expression. Pitiful beginning. powerful end.Nice rhythm. But I couldn't make out the title Could you explain, please? Thanks for sharing. All the best.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much!!' So.. "Saving Jill" the title.. It's about saving myself. ;) <3 Jill P.
Comment from mikemagine
Very well done. VERY sad poem. Jill has been through the emotional wringer, from what I can tell. I admire her courage to press on! To say, "Hell with it! I'm sticking around!" We know that so many just can't find THAT in themselves!
Peace!
Mike
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Very well done. VERY sad poem. Jill has been through the emotional wringer, from what I can tell. I admire her courage to press on! To say, "Hell with it! I'm sticking around!" We know that so many just can't find THAT in themselves!
Peace!
Mike
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WOW!!! VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!!! <3 Jill P.
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You bet, Jill!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Mike
