When Dragons Sailed the Skyways
a story poem in 7/6/8/6 meter142 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello adewpearl, Very good, very cute. I could feel the wonder within. I especially liked:
Our hero saved the skyways -
he tamed the raging sea.
While armed with nothing but two swords,
he set his kingdom free.
(And then the Hero took a well-earned nap. Protecting the skyways and the sea is exhausting even for a Hero.)
A fun poem that made me smile. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014
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Hello adewpearl, Very good, very cute. I could feel the wonder within. I especially liked:
Our hero saved the skyways -
he tamed the raging sea.
While armed with nothing but two swords,
he set his kingdom free.
(And then the Hero took a well-earned nap. Protecting the skyways and the sea is exhausting even for a Hero.)
A fun poem that made me smile. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014
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LateBloomer, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from djsaxon
I hope that Sawyer was safely warm and tucked into bed when you read this to him LOL. Sorta think dragons are a little maligned. Expected natural abcb throughout. I dunno, Brooke. I'm sorta on the side of the dragons :) DJ x
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014
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I hope that Sawyer was safely warm and tucked into bed when you read this to him LOL. Sorta think dragons are a little maligned. Expected natural abcb throughout. I dunno, Brooke. I'm sorta on the side of the dragons :) DJ x
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2014
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DJ, thanks so much :-) Yeah, I'm partial to dragons too - felt kind of bad making them the bad guys in this one :-) Brooke
Comment from Irish Rain
I just love this! reminds me of 'Where the Wild Things Are'...Max was still in his room. You have a delightful way with whimsy!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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I just love this! reminds me of 'Where the Wild Things Are'...Max was still in his room. You have a delightful way with whimsy!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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Irish Rain - thank you so much. I love that book :-) Brooke
Comment from JudyS
Brooke, This is just so darned cute. I just love dragons and knights and castles. You have the perfect picture to go with this one as well. Excellent writing, I really enjoyed reading this one. Judy
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Brooke, This is just so darned cute. I just love dragons and knights and castles. You have the perfect picture to go with this one as well. Excellent writing, I really enjoyed reading this one. Judy
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Judy, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Brooke
I really enjoyed this poem. I'm a sucker for dragons and fairies, and firmly believe in both.
I like the way you tell this story, starring Sawyer (with his butt high in the air), a gallant knight armed with two swords. This could be turned into a picture book with the right artist. I see Sawyer with his pyjamas, wielding a wooden sword, slashing the air at invisible dragons.
"When dragons sailed the skyways
and monsters swam the sea,
there lived upon the green green land
a knight who'd set it free.
He vowed to slay the dragons
who set the town afire
and chase the monsters far from shore
before the tides rose higher."
It's always good to have a hero in a story!
"As flames were growing hotter
and waves were rising high,
he cried, "I will not meet defeat,
not ever, no, not I!"
But what story would have a hero unless it first had a villain, the dragon.
"But dragons circled round him
to breathe their fiery breath,
and monsters swished their scaly tails
to raise great waves of death."
But you know, not all dragons were bad boys. I wrote a poem about a dragon, way back in my portfolio somewhere, and I'd be mighty pleased if you'd read it to Sawyer someday. It's called "The Dragon of Dark Harbour". I'll share it with you here,
The Dragon of Dark Harbour
"There is a harbour, dark and still,
That formed ten thousand years ago.
It lies upon the western sill
Of Grand Manan, in indigo.
Seagulls soar above the cliffs.
Puffins nest on jagged rock.
From herring weirs, in island skiffs,
The fishermen return to dock.
Where seaweed grows a tangled mess,
Where buoys bounce, it has been said
That barnacles, like warts, caress
A horrid, torrid dragon's head!
This monster of the Fundy Isles
Has zigzagged to Dark Harbour shore.
With nostrils wide, this crocodile
Can clear her throat with one big
ROOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Mouth of fire, darting tongue,
Orange eyeballs, scales of green;
Glistening white, her teeth are strung,
A yellow-bellied squirmy Queen.
But then, a melody so rare
Rises up from ocean brine!
Haunting echoes everywhere,
How magically they intertwine!
The ocean sways as Dragon sings,
Tides rising to the highest note.
Back and forth, the sea world swings
In eddies round her slimy throat.
Then all along the rocky face,
On every ledge from salty douse,
The shoreline birds select their place
Inside this outdoor opera house.
A foghorn drones in mournful bass.
A whale donates a whistling tune.
A hush embraces ocean's face,
A lullaby for stars and moon.
Then Dragon's song is finally done.
She sinks beneath a gentle wave.
As birds fly to the rising sun,
The dragon slips into her cave.
There is a harbour, dark and still,
With coastal birds from gull to wren.
Tonight they'll watch and wait until
The dragon sings her song again."
*******************************************
I love the way you end your poem with the hero knight tucked in bed.
"But when the proclamations
were ready to be read,
not one he saved could find the knight -
for he was tucked in bed."
Nicely penned!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Hi Brooke
I really enjoyed this poem. I'm a sucker for dragons and fairies, and firmly believe in both.
I like the way you tell this story, starring Sawyer (with his butt high in the air), a gallant knight armed with two swords. This could be turned into a picture book with the right artist. I see Sawyer with his pyjamas, wielding a wooden sword, slashing the air at invisible dragons.
"When dragons sailed the skyways
and monsters swam the sea,
there lived upon the green green land
a knight who'd set it free.
He vowed to slay the dragons
who set the town afire
and chase the monsters far from shore
before the tides rose higher."
It's always good to have a hero in a story!
"As flames were growing hotter
and waves were rising high,
he cried, "I will not meet defeat,
not ever, no, not I!"
But what story would have a hero unless it first had a villain, the dragon.
"But dragons circled round him
to breathe their fiery breath,
and monsters swished their scaly tails
to raise great waves of death."
But you know, not all dragons were bad boys. I wrote a poem about a dragon, way back in my portfolio somewhere, and I'd be mighty pleased if you'd read it to Sawyer someday. It's called "The Dragon of Dark Harbour". I'll share it with you here,
The Dragon of Dark Harbour
"There is a harbour, dark and still,
That formed ten thousand years ago.
It lies upon the western sill
Of Grand Manan, in indigo.
Seagulls soar above the cliffs.
Puffins nest on jagged rock.
From herring weirs, in island skiffs,
The fishermen return to dock.
Where seaweed grows a tangled mess,
Where buoys bounce, it has been said
That barnacles, like warts, caress
A horrid, torrid dragon's head!
This monster of the Fundy Isles
Has zigzagged to Dark Harbour shore.
With nostrils wide, this crocodile
Can clear her throat with one big
ROOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Mouth of fire, darting tongue,
Orange eyeballs, scales of green;
Glistening white, her teeth are strung,
A yellow-bellied squirmy Queen.
But then, a melody so rare
Rises up from ocean brine!
Haunting echoes everywhere,
How magically they intertwine!
The ocean sways as Dragon sings,
Tides rising to the highest note.
Back and forth, the sea world swings
In eddies round her slimy throat.
Then all along the rocky face,
On every ledge from salty douse,
The shoreline birds select their place
Inside this outdoor opera house.
A foghorn drones in mournful bass.
A whale donates a whistling tune.
A hush embraces ocean's face,
A lullaby for stars and moon.
Then Dragon's song is finally done.
She sinks beneath a gentle wave.
As birds fly to the rising sun,
The dragon slips into her cave.
There is a harbour, dark and still,
With coastal birds from gull to wren.
Tonight they'll watch and wait until
The dragon sings her song again."
*******************************************
I love the way you end your poem with the hero knight tucked in bed.
"But when the proclamations
were ready to be read,
not one he saved could find the knight -
for he was tucked in bed."
Nicely penned!
your ardent fan,
Kimbob
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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I love your poem, Kimbob, and will certainly share it with Sawyer one day. I want him to read lots of great poetry, not only mine :-) Thank you so much for your thoughtful review, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from royowen
Your usual great offering Brooke, nothing intrigues children more than tales of dragons and monsters an other people mythical or otherwise, so this beautifully written poem, that takes us into the realms of the imagination, and magic. Beautiful even metered tempo, abcb, rhyming, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Your usual great offering Brooke, nothing intrigues children more than tales of dragons and monsters an other people mythical or otherwise, so this beautifully written poem, that takes us into the realms of the imagination, and magic. Beautiful even metered tempo, abcb, rhyming, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much, Roy :-) Brooke
Comment from Razz
So very Sawyer.
So very cute.
Full of little boy stuff.
Rhyme is perfectly on time.
Smooth as silk.
Loved it.
Have a restful evening, Brooke.
Razz
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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So very Sawyer.
So very cute.
Full of little boy stuff.
Rhyme is perfectly on time.
Smooth as silk.
Loved it.
Have a restful evening, Brooke.
Razz
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Razz, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from bhogg
I know I sound like a broken record, but a post like this is one where I'd want of my grandchildren sitting on my lap and could read your beautiful poem. You are so gifted! Bill
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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I know I sound like a broken record, but a post like this is one where I'd want of my grandchildren sitting on my lap and could read your beautiful poem. You are so gifted! Bill
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Bill, thank you so much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
What a delightful photograph of the wrapped-up butt-up hero! Your poem is a wonderful adventure with action, excitement, and a great ending to the story. Loved it, Brooke.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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What a delightful photograph of the wrapped-up butt-up hero! Your poem is a wonderful adventure with action, excitement, and a great ending to the story. Loved it, Brooke.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Karyn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from mermaids
Love the ending where our hero is in bed. Your words are smooth and draw the reader in. I love poems about dragons and this is a delightful chidren's poem. Again, I can see your poem as a book with illustrations.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Love the ending where our hero is in bed. Your words are smooth and draw the reader in. I love poems about dragons and this is a delightful chidren's poem. Again, I can see your poem as a book with illustrations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Elaine, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
