An addicts end reward part 2
Sometimes it takes death82 total reviews
Comment from Willowsong
This poem shows an intricate metamorphosis of one who has fallen deep within the well, only to find the strength to climb back up, bloodied hand over hand, to reach the outstretched arms of his/her friends and family. It speaks of a strong turmoil overcome due to the love in one's life as of the love of life itself. With a few adjustments this could easily be a six star piece. I will list a few minor grammatical corrections to help you along :)
angle--->angel
crying. But,--->crying, but
starring--->staring
vain--->vein
and and I can breath--->and I can breathe
When I died I seen God--->When I died, I saw God
things I never seen before--->things I've never seen before
move to fast--->move too fast
I hope this information isn't too overwhelming for you, for I truly love the message your speaking, and only wish to help you polish it to a lovely shine. Peace be with you :)
ps: awesome artwork chosen for this piece...it really brings your poem to life.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This poem shows an intricate metamorphosis of one who has fallen deep within the well, only to find the strength to climb back up, bloodied hand over hand, to reach the outstretched arms of his/her friends and family. It speaks of a strong turmoil overcome due to the love in one's life as of the love of life itself. With a few adjustments this could easily be a six star piece. I will list a few minor grammatical corrections to help you along :)
angle--->angel
crying. But,--->crying, but
starring--->staring
vain--->vein
and and I can breath--->and I can breathe
When I died I seen God--->When I died, I saw God
things I never seen before--->things I've never seen before
move to fast--->move too fast
I hope this information isn't too overwhelming for you, for I truly love the message your speaking, and only wish to help you polish it to a lovely shine. Peace be with you :)
ps: awesome artwork chosen for this piece...it really brings your poem to life.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
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Nicely revised! I went back and reread it, and it reads much more smoothly now. Not to be a stickler, but I did notice another misspelling I had overlooked before, faze--->phase, but it really is a minute point at this time. I don't wish to come off as a Grammar Nazi, but the OCD in me can't help it, lol. Congrats on recieving the Recognized and All Time Best ribbons. They are both well earned and derserved. Peace be with you :)
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
WoW!
What awesome artwork you paired with this. Your poem is so heartfelt. I'm pleased you have come out on the other side and are now able to move on.
Well done presentation, and well done for you too!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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WoW!
What awesome artwork you paired with this. Your poem is so heartfelt. I'm pleased you have come out on the other side and are now able to move on.
Well done presentation, and well done for you too!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
