An addicts end reward part 2
Sometimes it takes death82 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
You have several corrections worth making and other reviewers have pointed out every one of them. I hope you hear them. I assume you will and mend this good work.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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You have several corrections worth making and other reviewers have pointed out every one of them. I hope you hear them. I assume you will and mend this good work.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
Comment from Zue65
Your poem explored the emotion and thoughts of a drug addict perfectly, which means you are a skilled poet. There are however a few spelling and grammatical errors but these don't mean your poem is less excellent. Permit me to point out these as follows:
vain is spelled vein
phase is spelled faze
I seen God should read as I have seen God
I never seen before should read as I have never seen before
move to fast should read as move so fast
All these are just suggestions, I won't impose on you these suggestions. God bless.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Your poem explored the emotion and thoughts of a drug addict perfectly, which means you are a skilled poet. There are however a few spelling and grammatical errors but these don't mean your poem is less excellent. Permit me to point out these as follows:
vain is spelled vein
phase is spelled faze
I seen God should read as I have seen God
I never seen before should read as I have never seen before
move to fast should read as move so fast
All these are just suggestions, I won't impose on you these suggestions. God bless.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
Comment from Hareem.S
This poem depicts helplessness depression at its best. You havedone justice to the title here. I feel sorry for the person who has given in to addiction and finds solace in death
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This poem depicts helplessness depression at its best. You havedone justice to the title here. I feel sorry for the person who has given in to addiction and finds solace in death
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for that gracious 6 star review
God bless
August
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'mstarring staring death in the face and hope that -- Only one "R" in "staring", crzypnter...
That's why I slid the razor deep across
myvain vein -- The proper spelling in this contest is "vein"...
When I died Iseen saw God, and He is showing me... -- I "saw" God...past tense...
...things I neverseen saw before... -- Again, "saw" here...
That's fantastic, crzypnter, that you have been able to turn your life around, with God's loving and helpful guidance, of course.
Good for you, and keep up the good work!
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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I'm
That's why I slid the razor deep across
my
When I died I
...things I never
That's fantastic, crzypnter, that you have been able to turn your life around, with God's loving and helpful guidance, of course.
Good for you, and keep up the good work!
~Dean :)
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
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You're quite welcome, crzypnter...:}
~DeanO
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
The poem is very theological; are you a theologian? I wouldn't know anything about it, and couldn't begin to assume such responsibility one way or another. Kenny
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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The poem is very theological; are you a theologian? I wouldn't know anything about it, and couldn't begin to assume such responsibility one way or another. Kenny
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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No I'm not a theologian. However I did study it in collage. Thank you again for your kind review God bless
August
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a well written poem of pain and suffering from addiction. It is great that you seen the light and was able to turn your life around to find joy and peace.
well done
Mary
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This is a well written poem of pain and suffering from addiction. It is great that you seen the light and was able to turn your life around to find joy and peace.
well done
Mary
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from Geoff Wiles
This is a poem from the heart expressing the feelings of somebody who has suffered and found their way before it was to late. Very well written.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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This is a poem from the heart expressing the feelings of somebody who has suffered and found their way before it was to late. Very well written.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from rjuselius
true indeed. addicts can't always find home from the abyss they have laid upon. they trust no one and cannot be trusted by anyone. the drugs always comes first and relationships there after.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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true indeed. addicts can't always find home from the abyss they have laid upon. they trust no one and cannot be trusted by anyone. the drugs always comes first and relationships there after.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from Carole Rosa
August, This is another heartbreaking and touching poetic piece about addiction. I belong to Families Anonymous and 8 sons have over dosed and died. They left 8 sets of parents grieving and wondering why. You do very well with this subject, which makes me believe that you have some knowledge about the choices that some people make in their life. Well written. Carole
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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August, This is another heartbreaking and touching poetic piece about addiction. I belong to Families Anonymous and 8 sons have over dosed and died. They left 8 sets of parents grieving and wondering why. You do very well with this subject, which makes me believe that you have some knowledge about the choices that some people make in their life. Well written. Carole
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from emrpoems
So many demons and I sure could use an
[angle ]now --did you mean angel?
That's why I slid the razor deep across
my [vain]vein
I feel the pain deep in my lungs [and]--omit
and I can breath[E]
When I died I [seen]SAW God, and He is showing me
things I never [seen[SAW before
Like the beauty in the world and now [i]I
love It even more
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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So many demons and I sure could use an
[angle ]now --did you mean angel?
That's why I slid the razor deep across
my [vain]vein
I feel the pain deep in my lungs [and]--omit
and I can breath[E]
When I died I [seen]SAW God, and He is showing me
things I never [seen[SAW before
Like the beauty in the world and now [i]I
love It even more
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
