An addicts end reward part 2
Sometimes it takes death82 total reviews
Comment from Lulube
You placed your pain through your words for every reader to feel. I can relate to you very well right now. A cry for help that we don't always know that we are doing, is depicted well. An awakening to one's soul, that we are alive and it is our choices that make or break us. Addiction is the claim over one's soul to exist.
lulube
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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You placed your pain through your words for every reader to feel. I can relate to you very well right now. A cry for help that we don't always know that we are doing, is depicted well. An awakening to one's soul, that we are alive and it is our choices that make or break us. Addiction is the claim over one's soul to exist.
lulube
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and 6 stars
God bless
August
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welcome
lulube
Comment from misscookie
I can feel your loves pain and sorrow for my family are in the same storm. My grandson and grand-daughter live has change for the worse. Like you said addicts are not bad people they just make the wrong choice. I'm glad you saw the light and changed your life around in time. I pray my grandchildren will do the same before it's to late.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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I can feel your loves pain and sorrow for my family are in the same storm. My grandson and grand-daughter live has change for the worse. Like you said addicts are not bad people they just make the wrong choice. I'm glad you saw the light and changed your life around in time. I pray my grandchildren will do the same before it's to late.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. Blessings to your family
God bless
August
Comment from Starlight's Edge
Hi,
Really enjoyed this poem.
Liked the word choice and raw emotion you transmit in your words.
Liked the message in how people can change, and sometimes there are reasons that led them to follow the wrong path.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Hi,
Really enjoyed this poem.
Liked the word choice and raw emotion you transmit in your words.
Liked the message in how people can change, and sometimes there are reasons that led them to follow the wrong path.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from Ben Colder
His Mercy endures forever. Deep and dark are halls toward Hell, and at the end of the courier is a lake of smoldering embers shaped like a football. Nothing goes in there or comes out, but through God, the supreme being. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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His Mercy endures forever. Deep and dark are halls toward Hell, and at the end of the courier is a lake of smoldering embers shaped like a football. Nothing goes in there or comes out, but through God, the supreme being. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from Dr. Nad
Thanks for sharing "An addicts end reward part 2" I have capitalized spelling errors you might want to correct: "I sure could use an ANGEL now " "That's why I slid the razor deep across my VEIN" "When I died I SAW God, and He is showing me things I never SAW before" "Like the beauty in the world and now I love It even more" I take it that this might be autobiographical and I want to encourage you in your writing. I need to tell you that the structure could use some rewrites. Your rhyming and your cadence can be tightened up. Let me suggest that before you post any work, you read and rewrite and read and rewrite looking for any areas that you are not as confident about. I like the story you tell and YOU can tell it WELL, you just need to apply some more TLC to your baby!
May God Bless you, have a Happy Thanksgiving.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thanks for sharing "An addicts end reward part 2" I have capitalized spelling errors you might want to correct: "I sure could use an ANGEL now " "That's why I slid the razor deep across my VEIN" "When I died I SAW God, and He is showing me things I never SAW before" "Like the beauty in the world and now I love It even more" I take it that this might be autobiographical and I want to encourage you in your writing. I need to tell you that the structure could use some rewrites. Your rhyming and your cadence can be tightened up. Let me suggest that before you post any work, you read and rewrite and read and rewrite looking for any areas that you are not as confident about. I like the story you tell and YOU can tell it WELL, you just need to apply some more TLC to your baby!
May God Bless you, have a Happy Thanksgiving.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
You are very welcome, Embrace the Love from above!
Comment from DR DIP
Well written crzy just a couple of things to clarify:
So many demons and I sure could use an
angle now
It's gotten out of hand and it's starting
to drag me down
did you mean angel?
I feel the pain deep in my lungs and
and I can breath
For once I'm happy and for once
I'm free
did you mean can't breathe?
This poem seems very personal and brutally honest
thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Well written crzy just a couple of things to clarify:
So many demons and I sure could use an
angle now
It's gotten out of hand and it's starting
to drag me down
did you mean angel?
I feel the pain deep in my lungs and
and I can breath
For once I'm happy and for once
I'm free
did you mean can't breathe?
This poem seems very personal and brutally honest
thanks for sharing
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I went to your profile to read part 1, and then read this part. You were so lucky to have seen God and have Him show
you what life could be like. And it is really lucky again, that you listened. Your poem should give many youngsters, trapped in this life of misery, a realisation that life can be good and that their life of drugs can be overcome. Excellent poem, and a pleasure to read. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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I went to your profile to read part 1, and then read this part. You were so lucky to have seen God and have Him show
you what life could be like. And it is really lucky again, that you listened. Your poem should give many youngsters, trapped in this life of misery, a realisation that life can be good and that their life of drugs can be overcome. Excellent poem, and a pleasure to read. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from royowen
I think you're right, the first thing God helped me address, was my addictions, in the baptismal waters I left my addictions there! That was 31 years ago, and I am still free! God took care of judgement at Calvary, and merely wants to set us free, such is His love. There are two spelling errors, "starring" should staring, and " vain" should be vein, well done, it's good to get it out there and help others! Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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I think you're right, the first thing God helped me address, was my addictions, in the baptismal waters I left my addictions there! That was 31 years ago, and I am still free! God took care of judgement at Calvary, and merely wants to set us free, such is His love. There are two spelling errors, "starring" should staring, and " vain" should be vein, well done, it's good to get it out there and help others! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments. GOD bless
Comment from c_lucas
An addict lives in their own special world when high and their own special Hell when they come down. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Errors
angle now (angel?)
I'm starring death (Death)in the face
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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An addict lives in their own special world when high and their own special Hell when they come down. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Errors
angle now (angel?)
I'm starring death (Death)in the face
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
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You're welcome.
Comment from Eric1
Hi cizpynter, a beautiful yet poignant tale about the last few hours of a drug addict who is then redeemed and turns over a new leaf, There are unfortunately, quite a few errors in your writing, it does detract from a wonderful poem, I am assuming that you have already been told of the errors my friend.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Hi cizpynter, a beautiful yet poignant tale about the last few hours of a drug addict who is then redeemed and turns over a new leaf, There are unfortunately, quite a few errors in your writing, it does detract from a wonderful poem, I am assuming that you have already been told of the errors my friend.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2014
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Revisions done, Thank you for your review and comments
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My pleasure my friend. Great improvement!
